A newer friend of mine took a not-so-great moment and tried to force a correction. We were mingling and eating at church before the #EncounterKC service. I don't remember exactly what led up to it, but she said, "You have got to stop. You can not be talking about Christ all day and then talk about the people making you mad."
Cue the ginger fury. I had so many things I wanted to say in response. "You do it too, so remove the plank from your own eye." "I'm doing better about it, but you wouldn't know since you met me after I returned to God." Rabble rabble rabble. But it proved that God is working in my life because He kept my mouth shut. Those who know me well know I have a bit of a temper and I don't often hesitate to tell people when they tick me off.
Yes, she has a point, but in a crowd was probably not the right time and place to address it. We went into service, and I can't tell you what happened. I was so distracted by the comment and angry thoughts.
Again, I'm not arguing the accuracy. It's been one of those things that I've been working on for a while. At the conference in June, Isaiah Saldivar said, "Gossip can send you to hell just as fast as meth." That was and still is convicting. I have a weird battle on the issue. When your job requires you to dig up details on people, which are often times less than flattering, then share them with the world, the line gets pretty fuzzy. Newsrooms are full of people with a certain curiosity and desire to know everything about everyone, and a love of talking, so it is easy to get sucked in to conversations. Plus, when something gets on our nerves, we are really good at finding a way to turn it into a story. People want to be compelled, and news junkies tend to be compelled to complain and chatter.
While on Facebook the next day, I came across one of those text photos that I really wanted to send to my friend. Again, I uncharacteristically held back.
Emphasis on the slowly straightening me out. I'm pretty stubborn, so making any change at all can be a process.
I stewed over the way it was done all day, to the point I literally got sick. Tuesday night, yes, 3 nights later, I was thinking about it while laying on the couch. I was praying about the issue while focusing on trying to breathe. The squeamish can skip down to the next paragraph... haha. So, while laying there asking God to help me eliminate the negativity in my life, doing nothing physically but breathing, my mouth suddenly filled with gunk. Not the normal sickly gunk, but a hard consistency that doesn't seem possible to have come out in such a way. Not only could I breathe again, but I felt better about the situation that was weighing me down.
A few days later, JD preached about inner problems manifesting themselves in the form of physical problems, so I'm just going to go with the chatter issue was the root of the sickness.
The friend did apologize about how she brought it up and we talked about it. We agreed that we both screwed up. I do believe her intentions were in the right place because, as she put it, we are sisters in Christ and need to keep each other in line. Autumn reiterated the point in my Theology of Revival class when talked about school of ministry students being leaders and we need to be an example that makes people want to follow Christ. She quoted Pastor Dustin, who often says, "You can be the example or the excuse." People need to see something different in us, namely, joy. Venting frustrations with people to others is not displaying the joy of the Lord within us.
Another thing Autumn focused on in class is how everyone is compelled by something, but that doesn't mean they want to be involved in that thing. In order to break the compulsion, you have to kick out the driver and replace it with a new one. It's not like I want to be negative, but it's so easy to get sucked in. That compulsion to know what is going on and complain about the problems needs to be replaced with Christ's love.
The journey to be more like Christ is difficult and different for everyone. Really, this post is about two issues: correcting each other in the right way and spreading negativity. Both can be boiled down to, lift each other up. Correction is a good and necessary way, but it does no one any good when handled in the wrong way. Our culture has this attitude of, "don't tell me what to do," and people either ignore or blow up when they disagree. Addressing issues with kindness will improve the effectiveness of the correction. Lifting each other up with what we say creates a more positive environment and better reflects our Savior.
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