Obedience Over Sleep

Yeah, yeah, yeah... I heard y'all. I haven't been writing much lately, and when I have, it's been depressing as balls. (Yes, I said "as balls." Deal with it.)

That's just the season I've been slogging through. Slogging might be too positive of a word for this situation. More like swirling around the drain of a death spiral with the occasional attempt to climb out of the stream, only to be nudged back into the flow... all while maintaining the "I'm fine" smile, because that's just what tough girls do.

But that's not really what this is about.

I timed out my day with plans to relax, get that illusive yet allegedly essential eight hours of sleep, go to the gym, then head to work. Easy peasy, right?

Wrong. I woke up about three hours into sleep time.

I tried praying, knocking off a couple items from the ever-growing to-do list, snacking, Facebooking, etc. Still wide awake. So, I grabbed the book I've been reading at the slowest possible pace, "Girl, Wash Your Face" by Rachel Hollis.

I'm a pretty fast reader, so spending a couple months on a book is incredibly unusual. The reason it's been taking so long is that pretty much every chapter is super relevant and convicting in some way, so I only make it through one before setting it down to stew and chew on it.

Today was no different. Of course, the first chapter I read (no, I'm not gonna tell you which one, sucker!) was directly related to that thing I was praying about. I kid you not. My brain went into overdrive thinking about her story and the similarity to mine, which I was so not here for. Hard pass.

So, I read another one to distract myself. Spoiler alert: IT MADE IT ALL WORSE. Now, my brain is all fired up on multiple things. Thanks for that, Rachel.

I tried to sleep it off, but that's just not how God works, is it?

Nope. He had to plant a some bloggable thoughts into my brain that were not going to go quietly. Here's how this argument went down.

God: *plants ideas*
Me: Cool. I'll do it later.
God: I've heard that before. You never wrote those posts.
Me: My bad. But, I'll really do it tomorrow.
God: No, you won't.
Me: I need to sleep! I work early tonight!
God: And?
Me: If I go write, I'll be tired and sucky at work.
God: I'll sustain you.
Me: But...
God: WERE YOU NOT LISTENING IN CHURCH SUNDAY? Didn't Koppang just preach about obedience?
Me: Yeah, but...
God: Okay, now you are going to write about obedience first.
Me: *Sighs and grabs laptop.*

Yes, I'm stubborn. Whatever. Don't act like you aren't too.

Pastor James' point Sunday was that obedience to the voice of God will result in a better life. It will solve your problems because you aren't doing things in your own strength, but rather relying on Him to guide you on the path He designed for you. Had the children of Israel obeyed, their lives would have been much easier.

Disobedience is pretty childish, isn't it?

How many times do you hear Christians saying that they want to be used by God, but then prioritize their own agendas over an opportunity to serve? Oh, so guilty on that one. How many times has that been you?

It's pretty hard for God to move when His people are being stubborn children who won't pick up their mess and share their toys. We can pout or throw a fit about it, but what ends up happening? I don't know many parents who will reward that kind of behavior. God is a Father who wants to heap rewards and blessings and goodness onto our lives because He loves us and we are His. But, He's a good and just Father, so misusing our free will can become a hindrance to our own blessings if we let it.

All He wants is obedience.

So, here I am, writing when I should be sleeping. (Well, my alarm just went off, but that plan to workout is now off the table! Ha!) I guess we will see how this obedience over flesh thing works out for me.

P.S. To the prayer warrior who, after the message on obedience, spoke over me that God would wake me up when I'm sleeping to talk, could you redirect that prayer with a better time frame? Please?!

Beginning My 30 Before 30 Challenge

Today is my half birthday.
That means I have 18 months left in my 20's, which is pretty crazy to think about. Aging is weird. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

In order to make sure I don't waste what's left of the decade, I decided to join a not-so-spiritual trend I've seen all over the internet: the 30 before 30 challenge. If you're unfamiliar with it, the goal is to pick 30 things you want to do before your 30th birthday, do them, and document the ensuing madness.

Creating this list was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I wanted it to be more activity and adventure focused, but considering time/money constraints and how much of my bucket list is already complete, it was pretty hard to come up with things. I asked friends for ideas, read dozens of other lists, and tried to think of things I haven't done so far in this life.

So, here goes nothin'.

1. Publish a book. I've started writing a couple, but never got around to finishing one, much less try to get it in print.
2. Get into Hall H. I regret not even trying to get into the throne room of nerd mecca last year. I have my pass lined up for San Diego Comic Con 2018, so this is the time to spend a night camping outside with strangers.
3. Go skydiving. Because, why not?
4. Create something and sell it. Someone offered me $75 for a calligraphy piece I did in high school, but my mom said no. It's haunted me ever since. Yes, I'm still annoyed.
5. Pay off student loans. Because I'm so over those monthly payments, obviously.
6. Cook through an entire cookbook. This could be quite the adventure from multiple angles. Who wants to volunteer to eat it with me?
7. Watch 50 of AFI's 100 best movies. I can't tell you how many times I've answered no to a question that starts with "Have you seen...?". Alex is pretty pumped about this one.
8. Learn a ballroom dance. Maybe I'll become more graceful. Maybe I'll just smash a few feet and fall down. I guess we'll just have to see.
9. Go to a national park. Somehow, I've managed to have not visited one so far. I mean, I saw the Grand Canyon from a plane, but I don't think that really counts.
10. Go to a book expo. Just another way to prove my nerdiness.
11. Read more classics. I loved them as a kid, but now I can't remember what I read or what they were about.
12. Go on a random road trip. With people or alone doesn't matter. Just hit the road and see what adventure awaits.
13. Get another piercing or tattoo. Things I've thought about doing for years, but just never got around to doing.
14. Learn basics of an instrument. Let's just say being the only one in worship classes who doesn't do anything musical was pretty annoying. Maybe I can be a little less tone deaf after this one.
15. Take a MasterClass. Those ads get me every time... especially the one with Shonda Rhimes.
16. Go ice skating. Another silly little thing I've never done.
17. NYC Comic Con. It's the only major US con I haven't been to.
18. Get my concealed carry permit. This is also on the 'things I've said I was gonna do for years but still haven't done it yet' list.
19. Go ax throwing. I mean, how much fun does that sound?! With a new place in KC, there's really no excuse to not go full Lumber Jane.
20. Take a kickboxing class. Again, sounds like fun and I've said I was going to do it for the longest time.
21. Visit at least one more continent. The ultimate goal is six continents (I have ZERO desire to freeze to death in Antarctica), but that might be a bit too much in a year and a half. Adding one more continent is at least a step toward the goal.
22. Go rock climbing. I'm not so sure I'll be any good at this one, but Maria insisted it needed to be on the list.
23. Learn to use the DSLR (and actually remember it for more than five minutes). I mean, I've gone over it a zillion times, but hasn't stuck yet, unfortunately.
24. Crochet something. Ditto previous statement. My poor grandmother has tried, but I just can't get past chaining. It's pathetic, especially considering how much I knit.
25. Scrapbook the European trip. I keep saving stuff to scrapbook, but need to sit down and do it. That trip was so wild, I need to get it down before I forget it all.
26. Take a Krav Maga class. As many rando creepers as I deal with, I should probably have more butt-kicking skills.
27. Go to an NFL game. I know, I know, I know. I'm disappointed in myself too. How this has slipped through my fingers is beyond me.
28. Finish an entire adult coloring book. I have a pretty good sized stack of them because they are so much fun. But, since they take so much time per page, I have a bunch of books with maybe two or three pages done. Gotta stop the cycle.
29. Explore my city. I've lived in KC for nearly five years and there is so much here that I haven't done, it's kinda pathetic. World War I Museum, here I come. If I happen to move in the next 18 months, this one transfers to wherever I live.
30. Do something that makes an impact. Now, I'm not talking 'be a part of something that makes an impact.' I get to do that all the time though World Revival Church. I'm talking start something that positively influences people. Figure out something crazy and go for it. This is honestly the most terrifying thing on this list. It's not about me. It's about the world at large and putting someone else first. I guess that is what that fancy Bachelor's in Ministry is all about.

I'll share updates on the adventures as they unfold. Wish me luck.

I am curious though. What adventures do you want to accomplish before your next age milestone?

Seeing The Vision Become Reality In 2017

Remember a year ago when everyone was all, 'I hate 2016' and I was like the one person on earth who had a decent year? Here we go with round two. Hot take: 2017 wasn't that bad.

At least for me. 

Pastor Steve said it would be the year of opportunity. Time and time again, I saw opportunities to make dreams come true, and not just the little ones.

About two years ago, I set up a vision board in my room. I drew five things in the short term goals row. They represented getting back into WRSM, graduate, read 50 books in a year, travel to Europe, and write a book. The first four are now complete, and the fifth is in progress. That alone is wild enough to think about, but the way everything went down was more than I could ever imagine with other small goals getting check marks too.

I started a book club with my dear friend Rachelle, and it has grown from six women to about 50 members in our Facebook group. There's also a writing group now that I started with my nerdy friend, Rachel.

I got to work on two shows with WRC that broadcast internationally.

I met Felicia Day and Jim Beaver at Planet Comic Con, resulting in major geek outs.

I got baptized again.

I got to go San Diego Comic Con to interview several celebrities and sit second row for the Outlander panel.

I sat on the Iron Throne and Dragonstone.

I graduated with my second year certificate and Bachelor's degree.

I won my second Emmy.

I was selected for an international fellowship in Germany, where I met so many cool people.

I spent 35 days traveling Europe, knocking a big chunk off my bucket list (i.e. see the beaches of Normandy, filming locations for Game of Thrones, the Berlin Wall, eating donuts under Brandenburg Gate, the Olympic Stadiums in Berlin and London, the Tower of London, Churchill's War Rooms, Auschwitz, Bergen-Belsen, Castle Church, Trinity Library, the Mona Lisa, the Eiffel Tower, NATO, the EU.. the list goes on and on.)

I went to German Comic Con Berlin and was in a selfie taken by Finn Jones from Iron Fist and Game of Thrones. (Yes, I'm a huge nerd. Sue me.)

I saw bands including 30 Seconds to Mars, Skillet, Sick Puppies, Muse, PVRIS, X Ambassadors, Borns, Parachute, Switchfoot and probably others I forgot at this point.... plus ballets, plays, and sporting events.

I met amazing new friends and caused many a shenanigan with those already in my life.

I walked through fields of sunflowers, danced in the rain and played in the hail, both literally and figuratively.

It wasn't all easy. 

School was an absolute grind to finish, especially in the summer when two of my six classes alone packed in 32 papers. Not fun.

Also not fun, getting stranded in Hanover, Germany because the weather shut down trains. Really, trains and I had a rough relationship in Europe. Transportation in generally, really... especially when some dude tried to get me to go down a dark street in Paris with him at 3 a.m... Hard pass, bro.

2017 was nothing short of an adventure, and God stretched me quite a bit as the days went by. So many moments were tests in trust, from patience to protection to the big picture. I latched on to Jeremiah 29:11 in Europe, and I've been trying to hold onto that still. Just letting God do His thing is hard, especially when you feel like something is about to change in your life, but you don't know what. Trust isn't easy, but allegedly it will be worth it. I guess we will find out. 

Happy Three-and-a-Half Year Sober-versary To Me!

Here's a crazy thought: I've now spent almost as much time as a legally-able to drink adult off the crazy juice as I did draining bottles.

Wild.

Today marks three and a half years without a sip of alcohol. I stopped writing about it a while back, thinking it a bit silly to keep documenting this part of my journey. Apparently I was wrong. 

The first reason I say that is because of the new clarity that the battle never really ends. Over the last few months, my resolve has been tested time and time again. 

The first big challenge was my international fellowship. Back in the day, my bucket list included drinking beer in Germany, French wine in Paris, Guinness and Jameson in Ireland, etc. Once this amazing trip landed in my lap, I had to deal with the reality of how I was going to handle myself there. I mean, come on. I was in Germany, a country where beer is legitimately cheaper than water most places, and during Oktoberfest, no less! Talk about a challenge! 

Before I left, the organization sent out a preliminary itinerary and seeing a brewery tour on the list was a punch in the gut. I'm not sure why I was surprised, but I was. I met with one of the pastors to run scenarios and try to come up with the best direction. I could argue either side of the issue, as is the tendency of my ENTP personality. While he eventually gave me permission to do the sampling if I was concerned about making a scene in Germany, he asked me one question before letting me leave the office: "What are you going to say when everyone goes to the bar after the tasting?"

Well, snap, crackle and pop. I see what you did there. It would be rather hypocritical to try to pull it both ways. He wanted me to think about it for a couple days and tell him my decision, but I'm a stubborn brat sometimes (ok, a lot of the time), and never did specify. I thought I'd feel it out.

Celebrating Oktoberfest at Alexander Platz.

I was pretty surprised at how supportive the other fellows were when I said I didn't drink. They asked questions, but never pressured me to join them. They were completely fine with me drinking Coke at the bars while they drained steins. During the brewery tasting, I would swirl the amber liquid and smell it like everyone else, then pass my glass to my buddy, Ben, and he'd drink it. We both won.

However, not everyone was so chill. The program director repeatedly tried to pressure me into drinking. It was never a subtle thing, either. From his inability to hide his disgust that I wasn't sampling the beer and asked to not be in pictures with it (so no one got the wrong idea), to constantly insisting that I allow him to buy me a drink, to blathering on that a sip wouldn't hurt, it got pretty uncomfortable. Again, my amazing fellows supported me and tried to divert the attention.

I can't tell you how many times I thought about caving overseas. It's not like anyone would know unless I told them, but I still could not bring myself to follow through. Deep down, I knew that God took that piece away from me for a reason. He set me apart with a purpose, even if that is just explaining how powerful and good He is.

Which brings me to the second reason I'm writing about my sobriety today: not everyone knows my story. I mean, there were 13 other fellows on that trip, plus three people from the organization, and countless contacts throughout those three weeks. They didn't all ask why I was sipping water at the same time. It was a continual retelling of my story and what God did for me to save me from my own stupidity. 

The whole "I'm in ministry school and it's not allowed" answer worked well enough for some. Others could tell there is more to the story and that gave me an opening to share my heart. Even yesterday, one of my newer co-workers asked if I was an alcoholic, so it gave me the chance to say no, it's a way of being obedient to God.

Once people know your story, they help you stick with it. I can't tell you how many times of late I typed the words "I want a drink." Life's been tough. Fortunately for me, I have sober buddies who don't hesitate to call me out. One guy is always supportive on that front. I really have zero business talking to him anymore, period, but sober support is what started our wacky friendship (after this post). He knows more than anyone else what it's like to not drink in our line of work, since he's a little further down the road than me. 

It's just another reminder that the battle isn't over just because you hit a milestone. He's at six years and still celebrates the markers.

Another of my friends fell off the wagon. I could have easily been me, especially lately. Being done with ministry school took the safety net away. I don't have that excuse anymore. I don't have a rule holding me back. It's now all on me. 

The last couple weeks have really tested that thought. It's a weird shift from being half my decision/ half rule, to this is all on my discernment now, especially when you're emotionally drained and hurting. It would be so easy to numb the world with alcohol, but who would I be on the other side of that bottle? Most likely, a person who holds a lot less respect and has less of a voice worth listening to.

So, today, I'm marking a milestone because daggum, the road is rocky and every step forward is a victory. It's not a win because of my own strength, but the Holy Spirit holding that valve closed for me and reminding me of those faces when I'm on the edge. Jesus is the victory.

The Frustration of Heading Back Into The Wilderness

Ever feel like you are standing near the top of a mountain with your promised land in view, but you're so busy staring at it excitedly that you trip over a loose root, tumble back down only to land in the wilderness again? That is kinda how I feel right now.

Without going into details, I thought things had finally lined up for a major long-term goal in my life and I was elated. My mind raced through scenarios, hopes, dreams and plans.

Let's be real, I got carried away with what I wanted and how it fit into my timeline. I've never been a patient person. My see-it-want-it-go-get-it personality is great for my day job, but it doesn't translate well into real life. This was one of those many times where my personality backfired and cost me the thing I desired.

Honestly, the past few days have been insanely painful. I know the worst isn't over. There will absolutely be more tears in the days, weeks and months ahead. I hate crying, and admitting to doing it frequently is basically the worst.

But I know that I played a role in falling back down into the wilderness. How? I let myself get distracted and consumed by the almost instead of keeping up with what other things God has cooking.

There have been a few projects I've felt like I was supposed to start for a while. When the one dream started coming into view, that became my focus. Even though I felt like I should work on other things, I sacrificed them for what I thought was the big dream. I even missed church a few times to sleep because I was involved in the other project too late, and there haven't been many posts here despite having thoughts to share.

God can't bless that kind of behavior. He withdraws His hand of protection from rebellious kids and that's when attacks come and life crumbles around you. It's an unfortunate reality, but one we as humans tend to forget so easily.

One thing that's been so perfectly timed in the past couple days is my book club. My partner picked the list in January, and it has been on the spot every single time. This month, we are reading "Eat. Pray. Hustle." by Havilah Cunnington, which is a study on Abraham and dream chasing. I'm only about halfway through it, but daggum is it hitting hard!

Abraham waited decades for his promise to come to fruition. He had his days of doubt, but he trusted God's promise and kept going. He wandered around as a nomad without his own heir for years because God promised him the land and a son. He kept going even when it seemed more impossible as time went on. Eventually, God came through and Abraham saw his dream become reality.

As if I needed more verification to be patient, Pastor Kathy hit on it during offering about 24 hours after my plans crumbled. She referenced Hebrews 11:11, which says, "It was by faith that even Sarah was able to have a child, though she was barren and was too old. She believed that God would keep his promise." I only heard the last part of the verse in that moment (I was too busy picking my jaw up off the floor from the 11s, which played a role in the aforementioned plan that fell apart), but that little piece was enough. Sarah believed God would keep his promise.

As I was beginning to write this, my book club partner tagged me in a video from Havilah about why things don't happen in your life. The number one reason: it isn't time. It's so easy to fall into the Christianese of God is timeless and His plans don't follow our timelines, but it is much harder to walk out in reality, especially when it's something you want. Havilah said she would have told 10-years-ago-Havilah to invest in herself in the meantime to get closer to the goal.

Abraham and Sarah believed God, even when they were wandering in the middle of nowhere. The children of Israel spent 40 years in the wilderness getting their act together before they could enter the Promised Land even though they were making laps around it. David spent time in a cave before he became king. They didn't give up, and it took more time than I've been alive for two of those three things to happen.

So, here we go: another lap in the wilderness, starting with creating a 30 before 30 list! If you have any ideas, help a girl out and let me know. I'll post the final plan in a few weeks when I hit my half birthday.

Final Round of Full-Time: Summer 2017 Quotes From The Goobers At World Revival School of Ministry

My three years as a full-time student are over. One of these days, I might get around to writing the post that's been stewing for more than a month now... but that day is not today.

Instead, I give you the quotes of Summer 2017.


Kingdom Economics with Luke Ingala (LI)

LI: "Force yourself to sow."

LI: "Money is just a vehicle. You don't worship your car."

LI: "The stuff... I could look it up, but we'll just call it stuff for now."

LI: "Any old dead fish can go floating down the stream. It doesn't take a rocket scientist."

LI: "If I gave you a Ferrari..."
Hunter F.: "Oh, thank you Jesus!"
LI: "If you don't use it..."
Hunter F.: "What am I doing with my life?!"

LI: "We're either part of the world's economy or we're part of God's economy."

LI: "I didn't know how many clean people are in here. I like it."

LI: "People who have a lot, they're either going to be selfless or miserable."

LI: "You can't drive on three tires."
Erica: "Unless you have a tricycle."
LI: "Okay, you CAN drive on three tires."

LI: "The only reason things aren't happening is because you aren't doing them."

LI: "'The silver is mine and the gold is mine declares the Lord Almighty' so what does that mean?"
Caila: "It's ours too."
LI: "Booyaaaaaaaa!"

LI: "What's a cultural statement... Gucci!"
Caila: "That's a Sam statement."

Darren Thompson (DT): "I'm kinda an old fossil in that regard."

DT: "You were like a gold zillionaire."

DT: "In James, it says to be slow to......"
(pause) Class: "Speeeeeak?"
DT: "Good job. You even gave me a visual!"

DT: "Some people. they're like a little hobbit running out of the door to go an adventure."

DT: "I ain't gotta be slow about going to Taco Bell cuz I'm hungry and wanted a taco."

DT: "Does anyone think around here?"

DT: "If I have to explain jokes, they're not funny, so work with me here!"

DT: "Sam, do you know what a consumer loan is?
Sam: "Yeah"
DT: "What is it?"
Sam: "A loan to buy things."
DT: "What kind of things?"
Sam: "Material things."
DT: "What kind of material things?"
Sam: "I don't know."
DT: "Well, Sam, you just lied."

DT: "Guess what happened? I don't know cuz I forgot where I'm going!"

DT: "Imma start giving answers cuz y'all ain't guessin' right."

DT: "Lord, thank you for wisdom and scaring these kids."

LI: "It's going to always be harder to start, but if you don't start, you're never going to finish."

LI: "If it's something you want to do and you never do anything about it, it's called a wish."

LI: "Give me some of you all's dreams."
Sam: "I had a weird one last night."

LI: "P-h-i-l-a-m-p..." (trying to write philanthropist on the board)
Ryan: "This is tearing you up back there, isn't it."
Stephanie: "I'm dying."

Hunter F.: "Except squirrels. They don't listen very well."


How to Preach with J.D. King (JDK)

JDK: "...understanding of preaching through intense studying... well, maybe moderate studying. I know you guys too well."

JDK: "So, JD, you're saying you're a teacher who is antagonistic towards teaching? Yeah, pretty much."

JDK: "Emojis are like the return of stained glass windows."

JDK: "You can't fall in love with forms that aren't biblical and ones that aren't working."

JDK: "Nobody has any thoughts? That's cool."

JDK: "Your ministry is not your relationship with God."

JDK: "People say 'I wanna become a great preacher.' Well, become a great person."

JDK: "You're called to be a human being before a human doing."

JDK: "Am I making sense?
Class: (laughter)

JDK: "If you're a person of love and life and integrity, you're going to rise to the top."

JDK: "To move forward, you have to work on filling the holes."

Sam: "That ringtone!"
JDK: "You like my Indiana Jones ringtone? I'm on an adventure! I may be old, but I'm ready to change the world!"

JDK: "Starbucks' got this nice little thing called a front door."

JDK: "If you live like a rat, you shut off the favor."

JDK: "We're not actually striving for love; we're contending from love."

Sam: "We should put pants ON people. That would be impressive bullying."

Sam: "Every time I hear 'logos', I think of Doritos logos tacos from Taco Bell."
Erica: "It's locos!"

JDK on Doritos as a fire starter: "If it burns that good, you probably shouldn't eat it."

Sam: "Homily. Oh, not home-ly. I was trying to figure that out."
JDK: "Have you read your book at all, Sam?"

JDK: "True."
Sam: "Solid guess!"
JDK: "I've got to get you reading the book."
Sam: "I read through chapter two."
Erica: "It was in chapter one."
Sam: "I didn't say I retained it!"

JDK: "You will reproduce what's in front of your eyes."

(fire alarm goes off)
Sam: "I'd rather burn than get wet. Where's Steph? Come on, that was funny!"
Stephanie: "I'm going...."

JDK: "If you don't get inspired, you probably weren't called to preach."

Sam: "Can you clearly define topical? I don't want to accidentally break the law. You'll put me in spiritual jail."

JDK: "If it's a mist at the pulpit, it's a fog in the crowd."

JDK: "If the preacher needs a list, the congregation won't remember. Don't preach grocery lists."

JDK: "Prophets don't shape what they say. Preachers do."

JDK: "Which one is more pleasing to the eye? The one with straight lines."
(class gives several reasons for liking the funky shaped building better."
JDK: "I'm talking to millennials. That's the problem."

JDK: "I'd rather there be a lot less ideas in church and more encounter."

Caila: "Me, we, they, we, you."
PAL: "Say that faster."
Caila: "Mewetheyweyou! Mewetheymeyou!"

Hunter F. on room being hot: "I'm going to have to strip buck naked now."
Erica: "We're not that kind of church!"

(Sam makes weird noise while class thinks)
Hunter F.: "Hey, Elmo! Why don't you shut up?"

Sam: "I'm going to go out on a limb."
JDK: "That means it's either great or awful. Go ahead."

Sam: "How about we do three each day and one on the last day, then have a party."
JDK: "We have to have a final, Sam."
Sam: "I know. I'm just always looking for the party."

JDK: "Sam is more wired as a teacher."
Sam: "Whaaaaaaat?!"

Dylan: "30 thousand questions!"
JDK: "30 thousand questions? It's a final. Did you even go to real college?"

JDK: "I want people to like my sermon, Jesus!"

Esther: "They're very holy dogs now."


Warfare and Deliverance with Pastor Aaron Lage (PAL)

PAL: "This isn't BYOB.... Bring your own bucket... because there's gonna be some slime."

PAL: "This is a tough assignment."
Erica: "Mmmhmmm."
PAL: "Took the words right out of my mouth."

PAL: "This is a life requirement. Where I go, I drive out darkness. Where I go, demons aren't safe."

PAL: "My jokes are now getting rated on the same system as demonic activity."

Hunter F. on alternatives to wedding rings: "Give 'em a thimble!"
PAL: "That would be considered sexist. 'You're my woman, now get to sewing!' That's on tape forever now..."

PAL: "It's part of your inheritance to drive out demons."

PAL: "You should be able to stand strong on a Tuesday with no prayer warrior in sight for a couple days."

PAL: "Worst case scenario: Jesus is a giant sugar pill and we've all swallowed it."

PAL: "Being with God doesn't necessarily mean you're doing anything."

PAL: "Actually, I wouldn't mind being compared to Pastor Kathy, even if it's just for the temperature."

PAL: "Just for that lip, we're going down to 62 degrees!"

PAL on baseball fan excitement: "When people are excited about something, they let their feelings show... albeit, a few beers help."

PAL: "It's not arrogant to walk in your destiny. It's expected."

PAL: "Why don't you step out on a limb and get criticized for doing the right thing."

PAL about mic: "Are you picking me up?"
Dylan: "I'm picking up what you're laying down."
PAL: "On a cosmic level?"

PAL: "Cosmic evil is atmospheric evil, but it doesn't have to be your atmosphere."

PAL: "Speaker speak-es."

PAL: "I'm gonna go three more minutes because I haven't talked about your personal evil yet. *whispers and points around room* You're all evil."

Hunter F.: "It's like with vampires; you have to let them in."
PAL: "What's that have to do with anything?"
Esther: "Like vampires, you have to invite the darkness in."

Dylan: "I miss Rose. She's supposed to regulate this."

PAL: "You guys are quiet this morning. I wanted some discussion."
Esther: "Pick a different day."

Lee: "I have possession of this book but I'm not on the inside of it."

PAL while drawing on the board: "God delegated authority to... stick people!"

(PAL explains theory of bless you/ demons leaving during sneeze)
Esther: "So I held the demon in?"
PAL: "You're not blessed."

PAL: "Satan pays for worship. God doesn't pay."

PAL: "It's easy to think you're running fast when you're in the stampede, but you could just be carried along."
Hunter F: "He just called us cows."
Esther: "Or buffalo."
PAL: "I prefer wildebeests."

PAL: "You don't get to take a vacation from the Kingdom of God or you're going to end up taken over."

PAL: "...access to food and wifi, because that's the basic human needs."

PAL: "Guys, you're going to be driving and there will be a billboard with some chick that you're going to take in full on."
*Hunter F. covers eyes*
PAL: "You're driving, so please don't close your eyes."
Hunter F.: "Jesus, take the wheel!"

PAL: "It's time to not be eloquent."

PAL: "Can you turn [the air conditioner] down just one."
Hunter F.: "Before we all burn in hell!"

PAL: "If a lion comes into the room, feel free to run. Or, at least one of you throw yourself as bait so the rest of us can get free."

PAL: "As a Christian, you have boundaries set up that the enemy cannot cross."

PAL: "My marker's drying up. See, the boundary is faded and we have to protect it. (Grabs bright red marker to fix line) The blood of Jesus sets the boundary!"

PAL: "You have a boundary that extends pretty far, but you're convinced you only have to defend one square foot."

PAL: "Stop feeling like an entry level Christian with an entry level job. You're management. Better yet, you're ownership."

PAL: "Just because it's out of your control doesn't mean you are powerless."

Lee: "I'm wearing shorts in my heart."

Lee: "She's the only one who knows cursive."
Esther, Erica and Stephanie: "That's not true!"
Caila: "Wow. Defensive."
PAL: "You forget there are homeschoolers in here."

PAL: "When tall guys fall, our head goes a long way."

Esther on first impressions: "Everyone thought I was mean."
Caila: "You are a little assertive..."

PAL: "It's like a sandwich vitamin."

Lee: "He goes barefoot?"
Esther: "He doesn't wear his boots to bed!"


Kingdom of God with Pastor Aaron Lage (PAL)

Josiah: "Chewbacca is going to be in my video!"

PAL: "Lift your hands... pace if you want to. Just don't bring Chewbacca."

Josiah: "How can people think that? I mean, it's still clearly bread."

PAL: "The kingdom has to grow and advance to be the kingdom."

PAL: "We seem perfectly happy keeping Him as the door and standing in the doorway."

PAL: "The kingdom of God is within you."

PAL: "If the kingdom is here, you have a lot of experiences to have."

Josiah; "I have two revelations."
PAL: "There's only one book of Revelation."

PAL: "What does apocalyptic mean?
Emily: "I'm guessing it doesn't have to do with zombies."

PAL: "Why do you think separation of church came about?"
Emily: "Because we're idiots, first off..."

PAL: "Kingdom authority happens through speech."

PAL: "If you're online, when I was muted, I was not drawing a pair of sunglasses.  I want to re-frame your thinking."
(class giggles)
Emily: "You said re-frame!"
PAL: "I'm really punny. I don't know what you want me to do about it."

PAL: "We give too much credit to the devil. The devil doesn't care. He just wants to keep the rebellion going."

PAL: "The devil is always and only going to be defeated through us."

PAL: "If you have no pride, you have no problem walking up and praying for people."

PAL: "God made himself vulnerable to you. You have the ability to hurt God."

Rachel: "It's so sad, it's funny again."

PAL: "You almost said when you grew up."
Emily: "I did."
PAL: "Two years ago..."

PAL: "God's doing things in your life but you don't see it because your focus is off."

PAL: "Being authentic is being who God says you are."

PAL: "If I die, don't pray to resurrect me. I'm happy I'm there."

PAL: "It reiterates what happened in generous..."

PAL: "You think of... I lost my train of thought. You think of... just think."

Emily on laws in Leviticus: "...not supposed to use electricity..."
PAL: "That last one isn't in there."

PAL: "The blueprint of the cosmos is love."

PAL: "Kingdom culture supersedes man's culture every time."

Josiah: "I have a question. If this is way off topic, you can skip it."

Class: "False."
PAL: "But what is it?"
Emily: "That's not on the quiz. Move on, Pastor Aaron!"

PAL: "You don't deserve it. You're all rotten! I just really wanted to say that!"

PAL: "God is not in love with the future version of you."

PAL: "False why?"
Rachel: "Do you even poetry, y'all?"

PAL: "It's nice to know the voices in your head when they come out."

PAL: "If you're a ruler, what does that mean? 12 inches long?"

PAL: "I don't know how we would draw God, so I'm just going to make it a circle."

(Emily asks about life on other planets)
PAL: "All that's fun to think about, but for now, let's get back to earth."

PAL: "Did God really say, 'don't eat the Snickers, Lage'?"
Rachel: "Does God talk to you using your last name?"
PAL: "You know how coaches usually use last names? Sometimes I feel like God is my inner coach."

Emily: "This feels like a breakup song."

PAL: "In a pool, I will displace more water than you [Emily]. We are not equal!"

PAL: "Faith is exerted through love."

Emily: "Or [Abigail] could just miss it and end up 5'1" or 5'2" like me."
PAL: "She's already almost that tall."

PAL: "You do not yet know what you are capable of doing."

PAL: "What if the first thing we went to was faith."

Josiah: "Assume your religious positions."

PAL: "Don't use your prayer language to curse people out."

Emily: "...through maybe sacrifices..."
PAL: "Through BABY sacrifices?!"
Emily: "No! Maybe sacrifices! You should know me better than that, Pastor Aaron!"

PAL: "Women don't have a lesser role of authority."

PAL: "The two become one. You guys know how that works... the whole stork thing... and you multiply!"

JDK: "It's a very important doctrinal idea I's like to think I rooted in you a year ago, but apparently...."

JDK: "JUDAH WAS  SCOUNDREL! AND TAMAR IS A BIBLICAL FEMINIST HERO!"

Johnny: "Scandalous."
JDK: "Did you know that stuff was in here [the Bible]?"
Emily: "Whenever I was reading, I would always skip over it because I didn't want to think about it."
JDK: "You homeschooler!"

JDK: "All of you need to break out of your literal homeschool mindset."
Sarah: "I wasn't homeschooled."
JDK: "Good. You were pagan like me!"

JDK: "Boaz is the man!"

JDK at the beginning of class: "You guys are behind on the material."
(Later in class, Emily asks a question.)
JDK: "No wonder you guys are so behind!"

JDK: "You know Song of Solomon is a sex poem, right?"
Johnny: "We can't talk about that."
JDK: *Looks at camera* "You are right."

JDK: "That's a hunk right there. Not a hunk as in an attractive person. A hunk as in a chunk of text."
JoAnn: "Thank you for clarifying."
JDK: "I know you guys struggled with that one."

PAL: "We basically still worship baby Jesus in a manger. You can kiss on Him. He's cute. But don't get in our face with what? With kingdom authority."

PAL: "You don't know unless you do."

Jeffrey: "JD was talking about the pyramid thing."
PAL: "JD taught you a pyramid scheme?"

Emily: "Don't erase my writing!"
(JoAnn draws triangle)
Jeffrey: "Beautiful."
Emily: "Thank you!"
Jeffrey: "I wasn't talking about your writing."

PAL: "Jesus said to be child LIKE not childISH."

PAL: "He rescued you. He knows there's going to be darkness residue on you."

PAL: "This was a human role He came to fulfill. Why? To show us what it looks like to not be drowning."

PAL: "You need to become a sign and wonder."

PAL: "You had your hand raised a while back. Is it still relevant?"

PAL: "If it's not being demonstrated, it's not the gospel."

Emily: "I just really love this class. Also, I had coffee. That might be it."

PAL: "I wonder what I'd be like if I taught on coffee since I never drink it."
Josiah: "Oooh. I thought you meant teach ABOUT coffee."

Josiah: "Forget the final. Let's just talk about coffee."
PAL: "On what grounds?"
Class: "Ooooohhh...."
PAL: "I'm sorry."
JoAnn: "You don't have a filter."

PAL: "I'm pretty sure once I see one person raised from the dead, I'm going to be addicted."

PAL: "I don't know if angels are allowed to be on facebook."

PAL: "He's using the very people who were destroyed to destroy the destroyer. It's the ultimate defeat."

PAL: "Let him have ears to hear, and here's a hint, He's not talking about corn."
JoAnn: "Corn! Hahaha!"
Emily: "You would, JoAnn."
Johnny: "Wait, can you explain the joke?"
Emily: "And I thought I was the only blonde in the room."

PAL: "When you grow up in the light, you have to learn how to not take it for granted."

PAL: "The kingdom is costly, but the cost is worth it."

PAL: "Everyone is like this. Millennials might be more obvious about it... or post about it more."

PAL: "If you haven't given up anything for God, are you even His?"

PAL: "We're preaching get to heaven for free, but Jesus is saying lay down your life."

PAL mentions Facebook marketplace in story:
Emily: "I have one question. Sorry, I'm going to sidetrack you."
PAL: "On Facebook marketplace?!"

Emily: "It's so cold in here! What did you do when we left?"
PAL: "All the hot air left."
Emily: "That would be me..."

Caila: "JC in KC? What does that mean?"
Emily: "Jesus Christ! Do you not know the initials of your Messiah?!"

Emily: "Do you even kingdom?"

PAL: "What happens if your stranger asks questions?"
Johnny: "Throw a Bible at 'em!"

PAL: "Why is it when you started talking to that person, their eyes rolled backwards in their heads like a rolodex?"
Rachel: "How old are you?!"

-- I took the other two classes completely online. With my hectic schedule, I ended up listening to classes while doing other things and didn't take notes. Sorry. If any classmates wrote some down, send them to me and I'll add them in.--

Pastor Eric Thomason (PET): "We will cover 12 turning points. Well, you will. I won't."

(PET): "If you're in a Bible class, you should know what theology means!"

(PET): "Jesus didn't condemn, but He convicted the crud out of them."

Johnny: "What's your gifting?"
Pastor Jack Walter: "My gifting is pastor-teacher."
Johnny: "That makes sense now."


And on behalf of the 2017 World Revival School of Ministry graduates, I give you the class quote which was spoken AT LEAST once a day by someone...

"Oh man!"

WRSM Spring Quarter Quotes: Wednesday/Friday Edition

Biblical Prophesy with Pastor JD King (JDK)

JDK: "You like the pictures? I'm trying to work with millennials. I'm trying to get used to it."

JDK: "Somebody might have a prophetic pastoral leaning. I should probably get that."

JDK: "The School of Ministry is getting almost old enough to vote!"

JDK: "You guys are like Superboy and you're just finding out you have super powers."

JDK: "[Class ends at] 9:50, technically. I'm going to try to be more honorable about that. Wait, who's up after me?"
Class: "Pastor Aaron."
JDK: "Ohhh... yeahhh..."

JDK: "How can you judge something if you don't process it."

JDK: "What do you do if you get smut on your hands?"
Erica: "Wash it off. Why am I the only one answering this question?!"

JDK: "Not everything you know is for everyone else to know."

JDK: "God doesn't respond well to inaction."

JDK: "Sometimes, what you say can transform the whole world."

JDK: "Put on your tights! Put on your cape! It's a sign for me to go into battle and be a superhero! Put on your spidey suit, man!"

JDK: "The prophetic isn't the miracle of speaking; it's the miracle of hearing."

Samuel on anointing oil: "It smells like Jesus!"

Dylan: "I keep thinking of BBQ. God likes the smell of a burnt offering."

JDK: "Our job isn't to run from the dangerous. It's to tame the dangerous for God."

JDK: "Faith is a willingness to ask and respond."

JDK: "Christians should make the best art, not this crap we normally see. Oh, Lord, I'm getting quoted. I stand by the quote, but still."

JDK: "Your gifts can take you far beyond what your character can hold."

JDK: "You could probably get any spiritual gift you wanted if you contended for it."

JDK: "If what you're saying doesn't edify the church, you better shut your mouth."

JDK: "In our society, it's actually worse to be socially awkward than a thief. There's something really twisted about that."

JDK: "Mates, dates and babies are good topics to prophesy about."
Class (jokingly): "True!"
JDK: "The answer is obviously false."
Esther: "Unless you want to get punched."
Dylan: "Fruit punch."
Esther: "I'm not a violent person, but there is a line."

JDK: "All things should be tested, including you and I'm doing it now. I should put that at the top of every [quiz]: 'Test all things.'"
Samuel: "Oooh! I get it now."

JDK: "If you've got a problem with this, get saved!"

JDK: "I want you to pick your favorite Bible character."
Samuel: "Jesus, duh."
JDK: "Besides the Son of God..."
Rose: "Holy Spirit!"
Erica: "God!"
JDK: "Besides a deity..."
Dylan: "Balaam!"


Honor and Authority with Pastor Aaron Lage (PAL)

PAL: "Anyone want to volunteer to take attendance."
Erica: "I knew you were going to say that."
Hunter F.: "Prophetic."
Erica: "I'm going to put that in my prophetic journal."

PAL: "Honor is easy when you feel it, but honor is not a feeling."

PAL: "Honor is more about the person doing the honor than the person receiving the honor."

PAL: "You are worthy of honor because of who you are in Christ."

PAL: "To honor people, you have to see people for who they're becoming."

PAL: "A culture of honor isn't built on what you need; it's build on what you give."

PAL: "He was telling [girls walking by] that they were going to hell for wearing pants. Not shorts! Pants!"
Samuel: "I'd just take my pants off right then and there!"
(not sure): "Cash me ousside."
PAL: "Did you just say cash me outside? I don't think I can recover from this... So, honor..."
Caila: "Because that's NOT honorable."

PAL: "It's like you're arguing with a gorilla. GRRRRRRRRRRR! (while fake pounding on his chest.)"

PAL: "What did you think of the chapter?"
Samuel: "It was cool to hear their story."
PAL: "I can always count on you for a deep answer."

PAL: "Danny Silk is a stud."

PAL: "Honor is not a formula."

PAL: "You don't hear people say, 'I'm a manipulative, controlling person.'"
Esther: "Well, some people do and they are proud of it, but they generally aren't Christians."
PAL: "Or they're in politics."

PAL: "You have to make sure love rises higher than the tension."

PAL: "Praying for the right thing is always the right thing."

PAL: "Do we know that Gabriel has wings? We know cherubim and seraphim had certain kinds of wings."
Esther: "So, he flew like Superman."
PAL: "We're creating our own modern Greek mythology."

PAL: "God is not subject to your Nintendo!"

Caila: "I got grounded one day, just one."
PAL: "She's crying just thinking about it!"

Samuel: "I fell asleep a couple times in church and I didn't care. Like, I got spanked a couple times in service."
Ryan: "In service?"
Samuel: "Yeah, they'd take me out and spank me."
Ryan: "Holy Spirit and fire!"

PAL: "We've got God up in heaven like, 'hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.' It's the trinity!"

PAL: "Evil is you being less than the son or daughter you are called to be."

PAL: "You are not empowered to follow Christ through guilt. You are empowered to follow Christ through love."

PAL: "A culture of honor deems everybody worthy."

PAL: "You're going to receive mos of your blessings from other people."

PAL on food: "Technically, anything that fills me up, I'm going to think it's beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

PAL: "Humor, for me, is a tool. Sometimes to annoy people."

PAL: "Anything that causes you to act out of fear is a poverty mindset."

PAL: "You becoming powerful brings heaven to earth. You realizing you are powerful brings heaven to earth."

PAL: "If you can't accept a gift or be a receiver, you probably haven't switched over to a kingdom mentality."

PAL: "It's that 'living for a weekend' mentality, but not a World Revival Church weekend, because those are powerful."

PAL: "You, many times, are the answer to your own prayer."

PAL: "As we're going to go on to... (looks at clock and hisses) I HATE TIME!"

PAL: "You make fun of flannel-graph Jesus but there are people saved today because of it."
Samuel: "What's a flannel-graph?"
PAL: "You should know what a flannel-graph is."
Caila: "I don't know what it is either but I kept my mouth shut."

PAL: "Apparently [making a whip] was a skill Jesus had already acquired."
Esther: "He couldn't just Google it."

PAL: "One of the best ways to honor someone is to allow them to be free."

PAL: "A lot of the time, you don't know the difference between getting pruned and cut off, so you respond like you're cut off."

PAL: "God's given you authority and you're still running back and forth along a one foot tall fence."

PAL: "Loving yourself is loving Christ in you."

PAL: "Your identity is in the body, the group, and that prevents isolation."

PAL: "You can't simultaneously walk in unforgiveness and walk in the royalty God has given you."

PAL: "Don't let dead religion suffocate your desire for greatness."

PAL: "If you can go through the gauntlet with God, what can't you do in real life?"

PAL: "If an angel shows up, I wanna tackle it! Preset! Like Pastor Steve teaches! Preset! If an angels shows up, tackle it."

Dylan: "Greatness does not involve algebra."
PAL: "Solve for x. X always equals greatness."

Hunter F.: "Deep fried in pride."
PAL: "Somebody's from the south. We can deep fry everything."

PAL: "We don't honor people because they are honorable. We honor people because we are honorable."

PAL: "I'm part of a secret society called the truth tellers."
Esther: "If you're part of a secret society, why are you telling us?"
PAL: "Because I'm a truth teller."

PAL: "He's the King of Kings, not the King of paupers."

PAL: "That was the second greatest sneeze I've ever heard!"

PAL: "Maybe [Moses] did some Judo moves... or Egyptian moves... or maybe he did hieroglyphics in the air."

PAL: "Your sense of injustice has to reach a higher level than your concern with what other people think of you."

PAL: "You can still fulfill your calling in camel hair with locust breath."

Erica: "[David] is the millennial version of a king."

Samuel: "Jesus roadies."

PAL: "Stop waiting for permission. Or if anything, I've given you permission, so now you have it."

Samuel: "Did we just trade Lee for doughnuts?"

Ryan: "I'm French."
Dylan: "That explains why you're such a coward."
Class: "Oooh!"
Ryan: "I'll take it."
PAL: "He's got a white flag of surrender in his pocket."
Ryan: "Always prepared."


Arts Through Church History II with Pastor Eric Thomason (PET)

Josiah: "We are calling it ATCH now."
Stephanie: "ATCH-TWOOO."
Josiah: "That's perfect."

PET: "What does monophonic mean?"
JoAnn: "One... phonic."

Sarah: "How do you spell that?
PET: "Francis?
Sarah: "No, Assisi. Nevermind." (writes 'A.C.C.' on board.)

Josiah: "As bad as these guys were, we have to remember there was good, too. Otherwise we'd still be Catholic."

PET: "If you didn't conform to the Church of England, where did you go?"
Sarah: "To JAIL!"

PET: "Maybe she's in the bathroom. I shouldn't have said that."
Hunter F.: "I can edit that out."
PET: "You can? Well, let's talk all about it!"

PET: "Just because they are shallow doesn't mean I have to give them a shallow song."

PET: "Where did Martin Luther get is church background?"
Emily: "Lutherans."

PET: "All of you in this room should be able to say 'prophetically speaks' before your name. Everyone in here can hear the heart of God and speak it."

PET: "That's how you really minister to people is when you've had pain of your own."

Josiah: "Everybody needs to buy a yo-yo."
PET: "I don't need to. They're already sitting in front of me."

PET: "Class is leaning to the right today."
Sarah: "Don't call us heavy!"

JoAnn: "Praise is like 'hallelujah!" and worships is like 'ahhh.'"

PET: "We don't want to scare people. That's God's job."

PET: "Some of it's pretty groovy. That's a 70's word."

PET: "Don't lose the rawness of worship."

Emily: "Can I agree but kinda disagree with you?"
PET: "There is no disagree."

PET: "God is not after pretty. He already knows what pretty sounds like. He's perfect. He's looking for rawness of spirit."

Josiah: "There was one service, we didn't sound so good for the first couple songs."
PET: "I know. I was there."

(JoAnn's hand keeps going higher.)
Emily: "Are you stretching?"
JoAnn: "Some of us don't like to project our opinions everywhere!"

PET: "I love that line that says, 'no one dared ask Him anymore questions' and I'm like, you are an awesome Savior."

PET: "You guys don't know how easy you have it." (about 100 times.)
Emily: "Lemme guess, we don't know how easy we have it."
PET: "Didn't I just say that? You should write that down."

PET: "Don't ever ever ever let a religious person talk you out of what you feel you're supposed to do for God."

PET: "Finding God in worship has zero to do with music."

PET: "There's probably one you want to do, but someone else is going to pick it."
Josiah: "So, you want us to be disappointed?"
PET: "Yeah!"

PET: "The weightiness of God is what changes your life."

PET: "Many times, the maintainers of the move of God are more important than the starters."

PET: "Pentecostals are all in and wacky as heck."

PET: "He woulda hater all of you. He hated Brownsville. He hated Toronto."
Emily: "Well, that's unfortunate because I'm pretty nice."

Hunter F.: "That's gonna be my fruity hand."

JoAnn: "Every time we say that, I picture a little lamb sitting on a biiiig chair."

PET: "John Wilkes Booth wrote that. Wait! No! William Booth. Wrong Booth."

PET: "If I took the little guitar off little tight pants, he wouldn't know what to do."

Sarah: "No one wants to touch your sweaty elbows!"

PET: "When you know it's God, you can't listen to the critics."

PET: "Josiah, can you pray for us since you just put a Pop Tart in your mouth?"
Josiah: "Yep. First of all, thank you Jesus for Pop Tarts. I love 'em."

WRSM Spring Quarter Class Quotes: Tuesday/Thursday Edition

Hebrews with Pastor Jack Walter (PJW)

PJW: "You'll notice participation is pretty heavily weighted, so you'll want to talk... intelligently, of course."

PJW: "Who said that?"
Caila: "Hunter. Anytime it's quiet, it's probably him."

PJW: "Truth prevails over facts."

Dorice: "The moon reflects the sun's light."
Caila: "So, we're all little moons!"

PJW: "How do you see people in our society trying to expand their spirituality."
Esther: "Really good coffee and essential oils."

PJW: "Problems happen when casualness and spiritual indifference set in."

Caila: "Hunter is the big-word-knower."

PJW: "I didn't know Eric from Peter Rabbit. Except Eric didn't hop around or have a tail or so forth."

PJW: "How'd we get on all that? The drifting..."
Esther: "You drifted off course and left the rest of us bobbing out in the ocean."

Caila: "What ways can we guard against drifting away and hardening our hearts? Not talking about food!"

Caila: "It's Hunter's group. They're not going to talk."

PJW: "He's a perverter. Or a pervert. I don't know if I can say that."

Erica: "I got weird, but just a little. Let me explain."

PJW: "God leads. He doesn't shove."

PJW on an answer: "I'll buy it."
Erica: You're buying lots of stuff today, Pastor Jack! You're going to run out of money!"

PJW: "What's the fruit of the Spirit."
Class: "Love, joy, peace, patience..."
Ryan: "And Pastor Jack!"

PJW: "Do you have your Bibles?"
Dylan: "What's a Bible?"
PJW: "Ohhh, we have to stop. He doesn't know what a Bible is."
Erica: "How did you get through 2.5 years of Bible college?"
Ryan: "Grace!"

PJW: "God bless you and I'm going to leave the mic here."

PJW: "I should have been killed, but God knew this day would come where I could torment you like you torment me."

PJW: "If we make ourselves available, God has great things for us."

Ryan: "Did you say you made your bed?"
PJW: "Yeah..."
Ryan: "Woaaah."
PJW: "Are you saying you don't make your bed?!"

Major Prophets with Levi O'Brien (LO)

LO: "I'm shaking a little bit, but not because I'm nervous. I just had too much coffee."

LO: "They weren't afraid of their calling. They didn't back down."

Dorice: "Mic drop! (pause) Marker drop!"

LO (on superclusters): "Sometimes I don't know what I'm talking about, but this time, I do!"

LO: "So, it looks like a brain."
Hunter F: "So, we're living in God's brain."

LO: "They compromised themselves into captivity."

LO: "You can only understand man when you understand God."

(LO tells story about childhood.)
Erica: "True story."
LO: "Of course it's a true story! Do you think I'd lie to you after talking about evil people?"

LO: "God is not a pagan deity that can be satisfied with surface stuff."

LO: "Something can happen and you're like, 'I can't get angry! I'm about to preach!"

LO: "I know, I'm moving around a lot. I think it's the coffee and the Spirit of God."

LO on Isaiah 20: "That's a silly picture. Don't make a movie out of that."

LO: "If I was God, we'd have rivers of coffee! Hot springs, man!"

LO: "The presence of God is what makes us different."

LO: "'Birthed wind.' I looked it up. It does not mean fart."

LO: "God needs to freeze time so we can learn and learn and learn."

LO: "We ain't got no time. Boring! That's boring. I need an hour and a half again."

Caila: "I looked up the meaning of Hunter once."
LO: "What did you think it means?!"
Caila: "Like, name meanings."
LO: (laughs) "It's over here meaning peaceful. What's it really mean."
Caila: "One who hunts."

LO after a joke: "Are you taking notes? Come on! This is a school of ministry!"
Erica: "I'll take notes when you say something important."

LO: "Whenever we put our trust in God with our effort, then we will find the reward."

LO: "I'm grateful for you guys."
Esther: "Because we laugh at your bad jokes?"

LO: "There is power in Jesus' name to get where you need to go. He is not the problem in that equation."

LO: "We aren't just changing today by what we do; we are changing tomorrow."

LO: "The mistake club... I'm not in that club."
Erica: "'Why preach?'"
(LO hangs head.)

LO talking about his dog: "Today is the first day we are letting him out of the kennel. (Pastor Mark presses his face against window.) He needs to be put in a kennel!"

LO: "I was looking for some revelation for myself. I was looking for a joke I haven't told yet."

LO: "Don't throw your English out the window when you read your Bible. A lot of those scriptures hanging on refrigerators don't mean what they think."

LO: "Mic drop moment! Which will be going extinct. We're all going wireless. Soon, there wont be any mics to drop."

LO: "You don't pray hard to get somewhere. You pray hard because you are somewhere."

LO: "I have a fear of Pastor Mark."

LO: "When you fear God, it shows you believe He's more powerful than anything."

LO: "I was waking up while you were worshiping. Haaaaa! You already had to be here!"

LO: "Don't get release getting out of it. Get release because you went through it."

LO: "Part of forgiveness is handing over the vengeance to God."

LO: "When you expect something of another person, it costs you nothing and it costs them everything."

LO: "Fear causes you to make expectations of people and God."

LO: "Y'all are terrible at riddles! Jesus, bless this class!"

LO: "Hunter, did you figure it out?"
Hunter D.: "Oh. I was reading Lamentations."

Hunter D. on Jeremiah 51:59-64: "Instead of a mic drop, it's a rock drop."

Caila: "I always thought Psalms was possums growing up."

PAL: "I used to think it was 'H to H, you're still the same.' I sang it like that for years as a kid. Like, from heaven to hell? I don't know."

PAL: "So, I got about 20 minutes to prep for this."
Erica: "I feel like that's all Levi puts into it."
Class: "OOOOOH!"
Erica: "Just kidding!"
PAL: "That's going in a blog somewhere!"

PAL: "Knowledge is not power to change."

Worship Unity with Pastor Nancy Thomason (PNT)

PNT: "If you don't sing and you don't play, don't panic. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I have a plan."

PNT: "We all carry something. How we carry it is the fun part."

PNT: "I knew you were a Bible girl, I just couldn't remember which one."

PNT: "Don't always wait to feel anointed; you are anointed."

PNT: "Your life is the song."

PNT: "Have you ever noticed how when God really nails something in your life, you turn really religious?"

PNT: "He's kinda like a cross between Santa and John Lennon... That's the Jesus of Illinois."

PNT: "The only thing the enemy can do is talk."

(phone chimes)
PNT: "Oh, it's my phone. I'm sorry. Oh, it's from Pastor Steve. I'll read it later."

PNT: "Love covers everything but love doesn't embrace everything."

PNT: "We will not be emotionally driven. We will be Spirit-led."

PNT: "If your kidneys are gone, so are you."

PNT: "Some of the most important parts of the body are hidden."

PNT: "I made another note... that I cannot read."

PNT: "What do people of faith do to mountains. We speak."

PNT: "The giant that lives is the giant you feed."

PNT: "You all have funny looks on your faces. Why is that?"
Esther: "Because we're convicted."
PNT: "Oh, good! We like that!"

Emily: "Joy."
Hunter F.: "Joyful giant."
Stephanie: "The jolly green giant?"
JoAnn: "That's the healthy giant."

Emily: "Caila prayed for me, so of course, I was dying on the ground."

PNT: "You will never experience father abandonment with this Father."

PNT: "God will put you alongside someone and your life, your song, will save them."

PNT: "If a person is not leading you to God, they are not from God."

PNT: "Drop her! I don't care how cute she is! Drop her and run away!"

PNT: "What [girls] do is have a whole Hallmark movie in about five seconds."

PNT: "Mercy gives an answer that brings life."

PNT: "People who are prepared recognize preparation never ends."

(Emily starts reading)
Esther: "I can't even hear you."
Emily: "I'm normally so loud. I don't know what's wrong with my problem is today."

Esther: "I failed an open book test once because I didn't read the book."

PNT: "If people have a wrong idea of Christ, they have a wrong idea of who they are."

Stephanie: "We are assigned battle buddies and today, the battle is staying awake."

PNT: "Each one of you has a song in your heart. What's your song?"
Stephanie: "Right now, it's a lullaby."

PNT on Pastor Kathy's preaching: "The flamethrower of God!"

PNT: "If you don't listen to you, no demon will listen to you."

PNT: "I pray for us to be like the New Testament church, but I forget [Annanias and Sapphira] is in it too. Oops!"

Josiah: "I have to walk now."
Emily: "Oh, poor you. You have to walk. On your legs. That work. Poor you."

PNT: "Being offended is the number one thing that will kill you."

Emily: "My real laugh sounds like a dying horse."

Getting Baptized The Second Time Around

It's a moment I still remember after about 20 years.

I was wearing a totally 90's frilly red dress that slightly resembled something a princess would wear, or so I thought. Despite my fever, I was in the tiny back room of the church, shivering and buried underneath all the coats we could find. I didn't become stubborn overnight, so it should come at no surprise that I refused to leave church sick.

It was baptism day and I wasn't going to miss it, not even for a fever. God is pretty cool in those moments and loves showing up. I remember Pastor Jack prayed for me while we stood in the water. He dunked me and I came out feeling so much better.

A lot can happen in 20 years, and it surely did in my life.

This past Sunday, I went back into a baptismal, this time in a different church, different state, and with a different heart. I've been asked about the why a few times, so here's the answer. It's been a long time in the making.

When I started going to World Revival Church, I got involved in the "Innocence Restored" book study within the first month. Rhonda, who was one of the leaders, told the story of her second baptism. I remember sitting in Dean'na's living room and thinking that maybe I should do that too. It's a thought that was always floating around my brain for nearly three years.

Getting that thought to become reality was a challenge. Every time a baptism came up, something kept me away. I watched the first one on streaming from work and reaffirmed in my mind that it was something I would do... eventually. It was just so amazing to watch.

If you haven't witnessed a WRC baptism, you are missing out. It's not a separate ceremony, but rather, baptism is a celebration incorporated into worship. The tub is set up to the left of the stage on the floor. While the congregation worships, the pastoral staff takes turns helping people into the water one at a time. When the person is lifted out of the water, there is an abundance of cheering, clapping, raised hands, and tears. The Spirit of God gets so thick in the room, and it's deeply moving to witness.

They announced the April 2nd date, but I didn't really think much of it. I knew I had plans the night before, plus there was an 11-hour overnight shift of work between dinner and church and another one immediately following service time. I figured I'd take a nap at work and avoid falling asleep on the drive home.

But at the event the night before, one of our school leaders talked to us about jumping off the cliff with God when He asks. She felt like some things she was supposed to do in life are not really options anymore because she responded to God too slowly. 

It didn't really hit me until I was driving home to change before work. Maybe this was one of those moments where I was responding slowly. After all, it's been nearly three years since I first thought of doing it here. The other thought that came up was Pastor Aaron telling me during a minor meltdown that he saw me as restored, even though most people are still dragging their feet about it. The action of getting baptized itself wasn't the only part that would show restoration. God told me that doing it with a certain person would bring about healing.

Before I even met Emily, I saw her as a little sister. We had some rough times, but we have been working through stuff together and growing closer together over the past few months of school. She has grown so much in that time, and I frequently catch myself watching her in awe of her heart and passion for God. While we are friends again, people don't seem to get that it's possible. We have both been amused by the weird looks that flit across faces when they see us together. The night before baptism, she even crawled up into my chair with me and we played on Snapchat for quite some time. So, when God said doing it with her would bring restoration, I believed Him.

There in my car, with about 10 hours until the service, I decided I was getting baptized again. Beyond that, I told God that when I came out of that water, the hurts of the past that I'd been carrying around were going to stay in that water. I mean, if He could use baptism to heal me of whatever sickness I was dealing with as a child, he most certainly could do this too.

I hadn't told anyone that I was going to do it, other than the church. Emily's face when she turned around and saw me in the matching shirt cemented that it was the right thing. She immediately hugged me. I was in line with my precious friends Emily, Kortney, and Issac for the baptism, with Rachel and Sarah acting as our towel girl and photographer. We were shaking, laughing and crying through the wait. 

Throughout the whole line of baptisms, the band played the song "Back to Life" which has about the most perfect lyrics for that moment.

"I, I’m coming back to life 

I’m feeling hope arise
Because of You, only You, Jesus
I, I’m leaving the rest behind
My heart is satisfied
Because of You, only You, Jesus
I lay down my weakness
I take on Your strength
I lay down my defenses
I step into Your victory
Resentment, depression & all anxieties
They have no power over me
Addictions, strongholds & every disease
They have no power over me."

When I came up out of the water, I felt so much lighter, it's ridiculous. I said "woah" and then realized I couldn't see anything for a minute, thanks to my contacts moving out of place. The presence of God was so sweet in that moment. The girls and I just stood dripping wet near the line hugging each other and watching the rest of the group get dunked. I saw a few confused people staring at us, but felt them getting the point that the time for judgement is past.

When all was said and done, more than 50 people were baptized that morning. You can see the video montage of it here.

The rest of that day was so wonderful. Even when customers tried to get snippy with me, I didn't care. The peace and joy of Jesus were so strong, and have carried along through the past week. It's really hard to put into words how incredibly life changing one seemingly simple moment can be.