I started writing something completely different, but then life happened. Yesterday was a really rough day.
I should have known something was up when ALL the junk food stashes at work were empty, including my Oreo drawer. This sounds pretty ridiculous, but it is actually incredibly rare for there to be no junk food laying around. It's how we get through the day... That and insensitive jokes.
It just seemed like one thing on top of another at work. I won't go into it, but we were not a happy bunch. Not even a little.
Midway through my shift, my dad forwarded me a tweet that one of my college friends was shot and killed overnight. I refused to believe it, scouring the web and wires for some kind of story. I called our sister station in Cleveland and had them look, but nothing. When all his former teammates started posting, I knew there had to be something to it. I reached out to a couple, which I hate doing, but my school truly means it when we say we are a family, especially among athletes.
Right before I left, my Cleveland people called to say it was confirmed. David was gone. I wasn't very close with him at all, but it still got to me. We officially met during the Black and Purple music video shoot and then chatted a bit in the weight room. He would hit on me and I'd laugh it off. We hadn't talked since he left college, but his death still got to me.
This marked the third homicide of someone I know this year. Maybe that fact got to me. Maybe it's that he was my age. He was a good dude, and hearing that someone killed him really bugged me, to the point of stupidity.
A college ex of mine just moved to town. Since he had met David, I, for some unknown dumb reason, thought it would be a good idea to hang out. Lunch was fine. Watching World War Two documentaries and knitting while we talked was fine. But, at some point, I fell asleep. I woke up, knowing Encounter service was not too far off, yet I was completely fine in not moving. I kept thinking cuddling sounded like a much more comfortable option and I could just skip church. He, of course, made a move and I realized I needed to leave and get to church immediately. While driving, I thought about skipping again, since I didnt have time to change or put on makeup or anything. But as I got closer tot he exit, I knew I needed to go. God loves me even though I look like crap. Things were already started at church, but being sad and annoyed at the world were not good enough reasons to skip church.
I made it just in time for the end of fellowship time. I walked over to one of my friends and I think she knew something was up. I told her about David that I almost didn't show. She spoke peace over me and David's family and declared that the Spirit would overwhelm me with during the service.
Boy, was she right.
Everything from the beginning of worship until dismissal was powerful and went by incredibly fast. I lost my voice singing and screaming out for God. Pastor James talked about how the list of, "if I can just have/do this, I'll be happy" will never end. The only thing that satisfies is the presence of God, and man, was it thick in that room. I could feel the weight of it. There may have been some tears, which for me is pretty unusual. But it was so good to just soak and let all the crap of the day go. And the fellowship after was great too. I have some awesome friends at WRC and I am so thankful they are in my life.
On my way home, I was thinking about how whenever I almost don't go to church, it is always really powerful. People always say things like, if God is real, why do bad things happen to good people? Well, crap happens because we have an enemy. The enemy knows the peace and power waiting for us when we spend time with God, so he tries to keep us away from it. The enemy wants us weak. But when we fight back and push harder for God, He rewards us with His presence. I feel like the more the enemy throws at me to make me want to stay home, the better that service ends up being once I shake it off and go. Last night's Encounter service was one of those nights. I am so thankful to be surrounded by people who are running after God in such a passionate fashion.
I am also thankful I got to know David. Rest in peace, Rat. You are missed.
Showing posts with label Encounter kc. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Encounter kc. Show all posts
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Saturday, September 27, 2014
Lifting Each Other Up
We all need a little correction sometime. When you are turning your life around and hanging with the right crowd again, there are suddenly a lot of people with a lot of opinions on what you are doing. Some people are just better at delivering correction than others.
A newer friend of mine took a not-so-great moment and tried to force a correction. We were mingling and eating at church before the #EncounterKC service. I don't remember exactly what led up to it, but she said, "You have got to stop. You can not be talking about Christ all day and then talk about the people making you mad."
Cue the ginger fury. I had so many things I wanted to say in response. "You do it too, so remove the plank from your own eye." "I'm doing better about it, but you wouldn't know since you met me after I returned to God." Rabble rabble rabble. But it proved that God is working in my life because He kept my mouth shut. Those who know me well know I have a bit of a temper and I don't often hesitate to tell people when they tick me off.
Yes, she has a point, but in a crowd was probably not the right time and place to address it. We went into service, and I can't tell you what happened. I was so distracted by the comment and angry thoughts.
Again, I'm not arguing the accuracy. It's been one of those things that I've been working on for a while. At the conference in June, Isaiah Saldivar said, "Gossip can send you to hell just as fast as meth." That was and still is convicting. I have a weird battle on the issue. When your job requires you to dig up details on people, which are often times less than flattering, then share them with the world, the line gets pretty fuzzy. Newsrooms are full of people with a certain curiosity and desire to know everything about everyone, and a love of talking, so it is easy to get sucked in to conversations. Plus, when something gets on our nerves, we are really good at finding a way to turn it into a story. People want to be compelled, and news junkies tend to be compelled to complain and chatter.
While on Facebook the next day, I came across one of those text photos that I really wanted to send to my friend. Again, I uncharacteristically held back.
Emphasis on the slowly straightening me out. I'm pretty stubborn, so making any change at all can be a process.
I stewed over the way it was done all day, to the point I literally got sick. Tuesday night, yes, 3 nights later, I was thinking about it while laying on the couch. I was praying about the issue while focusing on trying to breathe. The squeamish can skip down to the next paragraph... haha. So, while laying there asking God to help me eliminate the negativity in my life, doing nothing physically but breathing, my mouth suddenly filled with gunk. Not the normal sickly gunk, but a hard consistency that doesn't seem possible to have come out in such a way. Not only could I breathe again, but I felt better about the situation that was weighing me down.
A few days later, JD preached about inner problems manifesting themselves in the form of physical problems, so I'm just going to go with the chatter issue was the root of the sickness.
The friend did apologize about how she brought it up and we talked about it. We agreed that we both screwed up. I do believe her intentions were in the right place because, as she put it, we are sisters in Christ and need to keep each other in line. Autumn reiterated the point in my Theology of Revival class when talked about school of ministry students being leaders and we need to be an example that makes people want to follow Christ. She quoted Pastor Dustin, who often says, "You can be the example or the excuse." People need to see something different in us, namely, joy. Venting frustrations with people to others is not displaying the joy of the Lord within us.
Another thing Autumn focused on in class is how everyone is compelled by something, but that doesn't mean they want to be involved in that thing. In order to break the compulsion, you have to kick out the driver and replace it with a new one. It's not like I want to be negative, but it's so easy to get sucked in. That compulsion to know what is going on and complain about the problems needs to be replaced with Christ's love.
The journey to be more like Christ is difficult and different for everyone. Really, this post is about two issues: correcting each other in the right way and spreading negativity. Both can be boiled down to, lift each other up. Correction is a good and necessary way, but it does no one any good when handled in the wrong way. Our culture has this attitude of, "don't tell me what to do," and people either ignore or blow up when they disagree. Addressing issues with kindness will improve the effectiveness of the correction. Lifting each other up with what we say creates a more positive environment and better reflects our Savior.
A newer friend of mine took a not-so-great moment and tried to force a correction. We were mingling and eating at church before the #EncounterKC service. I don't remember exactly what led up to it, but she said, "You have got to stop. You can not be talking about Christ all day and then talk about the people making you mad."
Cue the ginger fury. I had so many things I wanted to say in response. "You do it too, so remove the plank from your own eye." "I'm doing better about it, but you wouldn't know since you met me after I returned to God." Rabble rabble rabble. But it proved that God is working in my life because He kept my mouth shut. Those who know me well know I have a bit of a temper and I don't often hesitate to tell people when they tick me off.
Yes, she has a point, but in a crowd was probably not the right time and place to address it. We went into service, and I can't tell you what happened. I was so distracted by the comment and angry thoughts.
Again, I'm not arguing the accuracy. It's been one of those things that I've been working on for a while. At the conference in June, Isaiah Saldivar said, "Gossip can send you to hell just as fast as meth." That was and still is convicting. I have a weird battle on the issue. When your job requires you to dig up details on people, which are often times less than flattering, then share them with the world, the line gets pretty fuzzy. Newsrooms are full of people with a certain curiosity and desire to know everything about everyone, and a love of talking, so it is easy to get sucked in to conversations. Plus, when something gets on our nerves, we are really good at finding a way to turn it into a story. People want to be compelled, and news junkies tend to be compelled to complain and chatter.
While on Facebook the next day, I came across one of those text photos that I really wanted to send to my friend. Again, I uncharacteristically held back.
Emphasis on the slowly straightening me out. I'm pretty stubborn, so making any change at all can be a process.
I stewed over the way it was done all day, to the point I literally got sick. Tuesday night, yes, 3 nights later, I was thinking about it while laying on the couch. I was praying about the issue while focusing on trying to breathe. The squeamish can skip down to the next paragraph... haha. So, while laying there asking God to help me eliminate the negativity in my life, doing nothing physically but breathing, my mouth suddenly filled with gunk. Not the normal sickly gunk, but a hard consistency that doesn't seem possible to have come out in such a way. Not only could I breathe again, but I felt better about the situation that was weighing me down.
A few days later, JD preached about inner problems manifesting themselves in the form of physical problems, so I'm just going to go with the chatter issue was the root of the sickness.
The friend did apologize about how she brought it up and we talked about it. We agreed that we both screwed up. I do believe her intentions were in the right place because, as she put it, we are sisters in Christ and need to keep each other in line. Autumn reiterated the point in my Theology of Revival class when talked about school of ministry students being leaders and we need to be an example that makes people want to follow Christ. She quoted Pastor Dustin, who often says, "You can be the example or the excuse." People need to see something different in us, namely, joy. Venting frustrations with people to others is not displaying the joy of the Lord within us.
Another thing Autumn focused on in class is how everyone is compelled by something, but that doesn't mean they want to be involved in that thing. In order to break the compulsion, you have to kick out the driver and replace it with a new one. It's not like I want to be negative, but it's so easy to get sucked in. That compulsion to know what is going on and complain about the problems needs to be replaced with Christ's love.
The journey to be more like Christ is difficult and different for everyone. Really, this post is about two issues: correcting each other in the right way and spreading negativity. Both can be boiled down to, lift each other up. Correction is a good and necessary way, but it does no one any good when handled in the wrong way. Our culture has this attitude of, "don't tell me what to do," and people either ignore or blow up when they disagree. Addressing issues with kindness will improve the effectiveness of the correction. Lifting each other up with what we say creates a more positive environment and better reflects our Savior.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
Encounter
About a month after I started going to WRC, the church hosted a youth and young adults conference. They announced it every week leading up to it, but honestly, I was not paying attention. The ladies kept asking me if I was going to go, and I kept saying no. One, I had to work. Two, it was the same weekend my friends were going to get married, so I was going to be partying all weekend with them. With about a week until the wedding, the bride posted on facebook that the ceremony was off. They were still going to get married, but they were going to elope to escape the family drama. I already had time off from both jobs, so, of course, I tried to plan to leave town.
The Wednesday before the conference, one of the ladies text me again, asking if I was going to go. Again, I said no. All night at work, Encounter kept coming to mind. Repeatedly, I woke up during my Thursday nap with Encounter on my mind. Finally, I grabbed my phone, bought a ticket and text Mary that I was in.
That was the best decision I could have made. Despite being exhausted Friday night after working both jobs, I left so energized by Pastor Steve's message on running the race. (This combines Friday night and Sunday morning's messages since it was a two-parter.) It was from Hebrews 12:1-2. "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." Pastor Steve talked about how the key to running the Christian race is not how fast you go, but what you carry. Only so much can fit inside you. Stop carrying the worries and sins. Just go.
Pastor Steve said giving up on our race with God is the sin (singular) that so easily entangles us, and it is so true. How many times do we slack off or straight give up when things get hard? Making the same dumb mistake repeatedly is like running into a barbed wire fence at full speed. You know it's going to hurt. You know it's going to tangle you up.You know it's going to keep you from where you are going to go. Sticking with Jesus all the time is the hard part, especially when you are around people who don't believe the same as you or aren't used to your fire. I've seen this in my own life since finding my way back to God. I barely see some people I once called my closest friends. They don't know how to handle me anymore, some going as far as saying "It's like you are a different person. I don't know who you are anymore." (I chose to take that as a compliment, even though it wasn't intended as such.) Like Pastor Steve said Sunday, "Opposition is there to wear you down."When we look at the persecution Jesus had to go through, it really puts our lives in perspective. He was beaten. He bled and died for us. Is losing a couple friends or being called crazy really that bad in comparison? I think not. Americans are pretty dang lucky in that regard.
I missed Pastor Dustin's sermon Saturday morning because I was working, and was half asleep for Pastor James' message. I remember it was good, but didn't take notes. It had something to do with raising up a remnant. I need to go back and listen to it.
Saturday night was a big night for me. Isaiah's preaching was so spot on and full of fire. Take the 75 minutes and listen to it, because I seriously can't do it justice. He talked about how organized religion can send us to hell just as fast as meth; how the problem isn't getting the fire - it's keeping the fire; how we can expect to go through everything Jesus went through while we follow him; and how we need to show proof that we are saved, not just say it.
Something Isaiah said that really stuck out to me was that grace isn't permission to sin, but rather, it's power to overcome sin. Hearing Isaiah's story about giving up his job, fiance and partying to go after God really stuck with me. The drinking part really convicted me, but I'll save that for a post all its own.
At the end of Isaiah's message, I was at the front in the crowd of youth and young adults. At some point, he put a hand on my head and I heard him pray for fire to fall, and boy did it. Next thing I knew, I was on my knees speaking in tongues for the first time since I was a kid in Indiana. After a while, I started to stand up and heard "school of ministry." Of course, I'm stubborn and ignored it, but it didn't go away. I let it rest on repeat in the back of my mind for a couple days before I really did anything with that.
Bottom line, my life changed at the Encounter conference. It is a journey, but I'm loving seeing how God is moving through me and around me. More to come on all of that...
The Wednesday before the conference, one of the ladies text me again, asking if I was going to go. Again, I said no. All night at work, Encounter kept coming to mind. Repeatedly, I woke up during my Thursday nap with Encounter on my mind. Finally, I grabbed my phone, bought a ticket and text Mary that I was in.
That was the best decision I could have made. Despite being exhausted Friday night after working both jobs, I left so energized by Pastor Steve's message on running the race. (This combines Friday night and Sunday morning's messages since it was a two-parter.) It was from Hebrews 12:1-2. "Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." Pastor Steve talked about how the key to running the Christian race is not how fast you go, but what you carry. Only so much can fit inside you. Stop carrying the worries and sins. Just go.
Pastor Steve said giving up on our race with God is the sin (singular) that so easily entangles us, and it is so true. How many times do we slack off or straight give up when things get hard? Making the same dumb mistake repeatedly is like running into a barbed wire fence at full speed. You know it's going to hurt. You know it's going to tangle you up.You know it's going to keep you from where you are going to go. Sticking with Jesus all the time is the hard part, especially when you are around people who don't believe the same as you or aren't used to your fire. I've seen this in my own life since finding my way back to God. I barely see some people I once called my closest friends. They don't know how to handle me anymore, some going as far as saying "It's like you are a different person. I don't know who you are anymore." (I chose to take that as a compliment, even though it wasn't intended as such.) Like Pastor Steve said Sunday, "Opposition is there to wear you down."When we look at the persecution Jesus had to go through, it really puts our lives in perspective. He was beaten. He bled and died for us. Is losing a couple friends or being called crazy really that bad in comparison? I think not. Americans are pretty dang lucky in that regard.
I missed Pastor Dustin's sermon Saturday morning because I was working, and was half asleep for Pastor James' message. I remember it was good, but didn't take notes. It had something to do with raising up a remnant. I need to go back and listen to it.
Saturday night was a big night for me. Isaiah's preaching was so spot on and full of fire. Take the 75 minutes and listen to it, because I seriously can't do it justice. He talked about how organized religion can send us to hell just as fast as meth; how the problem isn't getting the fire - it's keeping the fire; how we can expect to go through everything Jesus went through while we follow him; and how we need to show proof that we are saved, not just say it.
Something Isaiah said that really stuck out to me was that grace isn't permission to sin, but rather, it's power to overcome sin. Hearing Isaiah's story about giving up his job, fiance and partying to go after God really stuck with me. The drinking part really convicted me, but I'll save that for a post all its own.
At the end of Isaiah's message, I was at the front in the crowd of youth and young adults. At some point, he put a hand on my head and I heard him pray for fire to fall, and boy did it. Next thing I knew, I was on my knees speaking in tongues for the first time since I was a kid in Indiana. After a while, I started to stand up and heard "school of ministry." Of course, I'm stubborn and ignored it, but it didn't go away. I let it rest on repeat in the back of my mind for a couple days before I really did anything with that.
Bottom line, my life changed at the Encounter conference. It is a journey, but I'm loving seeing how God is moving through me and around me. More to come on all of that...
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