Sweetness And Strength

You ever have those moments where God kinda smacks you in the face with a truth that should probably be obvious to you by that point?

Yeah, that just happened.

I guess this all started when I bought my new car in June (forgot to mention that in the life is good post yesterday.) I ended up talking a friend to the same guy to buy a car a couple days later. During the test drive, the subject of Oreos came up, and we actually stopped to find one of the new flavors I had mentioned, but they were out. The salesman mentioned a few times throughout the rest of our time that he was disappointed we couldn't find them. I had a pack in my desk at work, and felt like I should give them to him. I did, despite it feeling like the most awkward thing ever. He text me moments after I left saying I was sweet.

And, like a weirdo, it annoyed me.

He called me sweet a couple other times over text and I always tried to argue it.

Fast forward to last night: we were texting about something car related and he handled the issue. I felt like I needed to encourage him a bit, so I just did that I hoped everything was going well and he deserved good things. He responded, "You're such a sweetheart I can barely stand it." I was having none of that crap and said, "lol. Just don't cross me."

I know, smooth one, Red...

The conversation faded out and I moved on with life.

Then, in class today, we had visitors from Poland. It was Heather's class, so I should have known what was coming. She had us pray for them and speak into their lives.

In the group was a 15-year-old girl Heather accurately described as pure sugar. I immediately has some things come to mind, but stayed quiet for a while. As the guys were winding down, I silently prayed that if the words that came to mind were for her, then have Heather come grab me next. About 2 minutes later, here comes Heather, which almost made me laugh out loud.

I spoke the initial thoughts, but didn't say everything. Florence had a turn and Heather walked back over to the girl. I don't remember what Heather said, but I blurted out something I had held back.

"Your sweetness is a strength."

Heather had me repeat the phrase, and that's when I heard, "So is yours, if you'll let it." Woo! Despite it being 68° in the room, which would normally have me shivering, I was sweating.

Heather then had me pray for Florence and the main word was strength, so Heather told me to give her my strength, so I gripped Florence's hands and we pushed for a bit. Heather then said something along the lines of, giving your strength to someone else doesn't mean you get weaker; the Holy Spirit gives you more.

I started thinking about how I'm always fighting people thinking I'm nice because I was raised to be tougher than that. Seriously, I've gone out of my way to be a brat to people who think there is good in me, which makes zero sense, I know. I've never been one for feelings and junk, but there is a definite soft spot that's been growing in me the last few months. It's especially noticeable at work. Instead of being able to compartmentalize, writing about some things going on in the world have brought me to tears lately. It's rather annoying and I've fought it.

But in that moment, I realized that it's a good thing. It's evidence of what He's doing in and through me. It's an opportunity to reach people in ways I couldn't before. It's my eyes opening with compassion, and should be embraced.

I saw how other people treated this car salesman, and it was not ok. (Like, I had to grab a book or I was going to end up fighting one guy. It was ridiculous.) Instead of being happy that a kindness in me stood out to him, I wanted to blend in with the jerks of the crowd. It's really rather silly, now that I see it.

This battle between sweet and strong is pretty common for women, especially in the workplace as we trying to lead fiercely without being cold. These two traits aren't meant to be exclusive. Think on this: while bees can cause pain, they also create sweet honey. We value that honey. They've got it down.

Balance is out there.

Your sweetness is a strength. Embrace it.