A Mixed Bag Of Quotes: World Revival School Of Ministry's Summer 2016 Quarter

We are now one week away from a new school year at WRSM. It feels like we were just in class two weeks ago. Oh, right. We were, but I'm totally fine with that! It was a dang good quarter; challenging, but full of growth and so much joy, as you are about to read. 

Honestly, I'm glad life worked out the way it did so I could be in classes with both groups. The different levels and personalities made those ten weeks all the more enjoyable. I got to know people I had only seen in passing, and the first year group really became a family to me. I can't wait to see how things unfold when we get mixed up together in the upcoming classes. 

So, without further ado, a selection of quotes from the summer of 2016. (seriously.... there are so many  more! It was a good quarter.)

New Testament Survey

Pastor Jack Walter (PJW): “Don’t drink whiskey in class! At least pass it around!” (on a 5 hour energy shot)

PJW: “That’s how I think people’s minds work sometimes… like jello running all over the place.”

PJW: “What was his first name? Graham? That was here last week?”

Steph: “Cliff.”

PJW: “Thank you. That name doesn’t stick. Graham does. I like graham crackers.”

Jacque: “There’s a Polycarp too?”

Samuel: “Is that like a bunch of fish?”

PJW: “How’d we get off on that tangent? Oh! Listening!”

Inspired speech

Heather Eschenbaum (HE): “God created you with a mouth, but not to complain.”

HE: “If I don’t look like an influence, why would I be given the chance to influence.”

HE: “As your spirit goes down, so does your voice.”

HE: “Whatever you want in life, you have to pursue it strong.”

HE: “Your internal is eternal.”

HE: “Intellect doesn’t give you compassion.”

HE: “Don’t run from the hardship. Pray through the hardship.”

HE: “We shouldn’t have to be pulled along by our apathy.”

HE: “To have compassion, go to war.”

HE: “I didn’t want to write it. I should’ve called Stephanie!”

HE: “Here’s this spiritual giant and I’m a pipsqueak in Jesus.”

HE: “Don’t ever call it a car. It’s a Jeep. If you call it a car, a kitten dies.”

HE: “Create something that will last.”

HE: “Guess what! Everyone mentors you, even your enemies.”

HE: “If you’re going to have a testimony, let it be wild.”

HE: “If you want people to be changed by your talk, you have to relive it and feel it.”

Samuel: “He goes and builds the wall. Wow. That’s summarizing the heck out of it.”

HE: “Extra credit to whoever makes Darren cry!”

HE: “And then you start to sound like a turkey.”

Christian (guest): “Give me something good.”

HE: “Well, it’s the word of God, so…..”

Ryan: “I pray that you let your A-ness shine through.”

Santesa: “That’s not gonna work.”

HE: “I’ve never heard anyone ruin a prayer before.”

HE: “If Florence gets them all, you are not a royal priesthood!”

HE: “You don’t have to spell it right to be it.”

HE: “Trash talk IS Ryan’s love language.”                               

Samuel: “I write humble the best.”
HE: “You might have to fight Ryan for that.”

Samuel: “Planet shakers!”

HE: “Surely that’s in the Bible somewhere.”

HE: “You know who was the first farmer?”

Ryan: “Adam!”

HE: “THE LORD!”

HE: “But I have the amplified, so it amplifies.”

HE: “If you are going to judge others, you are taking away your opportunity to help them.”

HE: “Transition brings out the best and worst in you.”

HE: “The spiritual realm is stolen so much more because the enemy comes to steal it.”

HE: “If you’re on a slippery slope, you’re going to slip.”

HE: “Every day you have a conversation with the enemy, you are eating of the fruit.”

HE: “I don’t sound like Hunter, but I pray I sound like Whitney Houston. When Whitney Houston passed, I prayed for her anointing.”

Samuel: “Then we walk in, this rowdy bunch, being all,  you know, normal.”

HE: “They have the spirit of God, but they don’t trust it.” MOST CONVICTING THING EVER!

Samuel: “He’s replacing your fear with fierce love.”

Steph: “Your sweetness is a strength.”

HE: “Why am I eating barn in a blanket?!”

Samuel: “I’m lost. Is there a type L for lost?”

Samuel: (Chews gum into microphone) “How awesome does that sound?”

Steph: “Sounds like you’re going to get punched.”

Samuel: “Punched?! What type is that?”

HE: (laughing) “She’s so much smaller than you and she’s going to punch you!”

Prayer: Adoration and proclamation

Ben Woodward (BW): “War doesn’t wait for you to be ready.”

BW: “We are sons and daughters of the living God and the only time the enemy has authority over us is when we give it to him.”

BW: “If I said, ‘Can God provide finances in a time of need?”

Class: “Yes.”

BW: “But if I said, ‘Can God do it for you in your circumstance right now?”

Class: “Yes.”

BW: “Right. We’ll you’re all a bunch of charismatics.”

BW: “Unbelief is not a petty issue. It is a rampant disease. It’s out of control in the body of Christ and that has to change.”

BW: “The ability to work with God comes from us.”

BW: “The enemy knows if you believe the lie, you’ll perpetuate the sin on your own.”

Jill Koppang: “I’m going to write on the board because I’m a teacher and I know how to do that.”

Jill Koppang: “We should be praying things that are the passion of our heart.”

BW: “Adoration prayer allows us to see with different perspective.”

BW: “God is not after half-hearted lovers.”

BW: “Every slight misstep is an opportunity to discover God.”

BW: “God’s not going to rescue you out of the situation. He’ll empower you to endure it.”

BW: “I think, sometimes, we as a human race, that’s kinda how we operate with the Lord, is where we’re jamming our head into the armhole of our shirt.”

BW: “We strive to show our self-worth through our independence.”

BW: “Let’s be real. I’m a glorified karaoke singer.”

BW: “When you sow, you don’t reap one to one. You reap 100 to one. That’s the point.”

BW: “What you stare into is what you become like.”

BW: “A bi-product is, when we understand Him, we understand ourselves.”

BW: “God doesn’t answer prayer. He answers people.”

Who We Are In Christ

Pastor Eric Thomason (PET): “What God does in the spiritual realm dictates what happens in the natural realm.”

PET: “If you’re an over thinker, you’ll over shoot the simplicity of God.”

PET: “With God, the journey is everything.”

PET: “No matter how much you know about God, it’s not the same as knowing God.”

PET: “When you make God more comfortable, you automatically get more comfortable.”

PET: “You wanna know what true arrogance is? It’s you giving yourself the right to say who you are against what God has said.”

Santesa: “Standing behind [your weakness], you become weakened behind it.”

PET: “Whatever dominates our minds will eventually come out.”

PET: “It’s the church’s authority to say what will happen on this earth.”

BW: “The most painful lesson we can learn is God is not in a hurry.”

End Times Perspectives

Pastor Aaron Lage (PAL): “He’s the guy who talked about escalators and they always say, ‘sorry, temporarily out of order’ when they  should say, ‘sorry, temporarily stairs’ like they’re never really our of order.”

Esther: “Oh, I was thinking elevator not escalator.”

(PAL almost spews water.)

Caila: “Can you say that again then?”

(Pastor Aaron doubles over trying not to choke on water.)

PAL: “I really almost choked on my water.”

PAL: “The sad thing is, Steph’s going to watch this later. She’ll be able to rewind and really quote it.”

Esther: “You’ll just have to cut it and she won’t be able to.”

PAL: “This video gets found on whatever is left of the internet a millennium from now. They’ve got to figure out what a butt dial is. Is it a button you push with your butt? And why is it so funny for people?”

Erica: “If you’re not careful, someone will actually make a button you dial with your butt.”

Caila: “I ate ALL the animals!”

PAL: “Why is that funny?”

Dylan: “I pictured him riding a hippo.”

PAL: “I thought you were going to say something about hungry hungry hippos.”

PAL: “You should’ve heard of Packer.”

Erica: “Not unless it was the Green Bay Packers.”

PAL: “Christianity without churchianity decapitates Jesus from His body.”

PAL: “If you’re not letting the Bible shape your view, the world is shaping it.”

PAL: “Guess what. I’m not watching my horoscope for when Jesus will return!”

PAL: “I’m playing dev… not devil’s advocate. I’m playing angel’s advocate.”

PAL: “God works through process.”

PAL: “To a certain degree, God wants it to affect your faith. That’s why it’s a trial of your faith.”

PAL: “My goal in here isn’t to answer every question; it’s to create more.”

PAL: “Humor is so much fun.”
Isaac: “By definition.”

PAL: “Sometimes it doesn’t translate between cultures.”
Luke: “Or IQs.”

Caila: “Huh?”

PAL: “You may be completely right, but you need to value relationship over your right-ness.”

PAL: “Rapture jokes are fun. Sometimes I get caught up in them.”
Isaac: “Sometimes they go over my head.”

Kaitlynn: “Was that a joke?”

(talking about 1 Corinthians 13:8)

PAL: “But go down a little and knowledge wouldn’t be for today, which is why it’s so hard to argue with them! It’s the same sentence! Mic drop!”

PAL: “He’s not saying God owns the cattle on a literal thousand hills. The rest are the devil’s.”

PAL: “A stay-at-home mom has a greater ability to raise disciples than a man in the workplace, and guess what, she’s given all authority.”

PAL: “What if out first response is to walk in ALL AUTHORITY?”

PAL: “There are more churches in America than McDonald’s”

Kaitlynn: “Woah!”
PAL: “America might have more denominations than McDonald’s. There are technically more Subways than McDonald’s, but that’s a whole different story.”

Luke: “We could turn all the Walmart’s into churches. Intercom.”

PAL: “Because that’s great sound quality.”

PAL: “The only time the enemy has power is when we believe the lie.”

PAL: “You view is an interpretive process. My view is an interpretive process. The Mormons are just on crack.”

Esther: “So, you’re walking with a friend and all of the sudden, you walk through a wall and they don’t?”

Thora: “I wasn’t a Southern Baptist. I was a first, regular Baptist.”

PAL: “Welcome to the 90’s, which is just the leftovers of the 80’s.”

PAL: “Sin is not God’s kryptonite.”

Erica: “It’s a prepositional phrase. It starts with ‘to.’ Homeschooled.”

Caila: “Hashtag.”

PAL: “You have a defeated foe and everything he is whispering, he is whispering through a jail cell.”

Luke (praying over the test the whole class forgot about): “Let us reap what we did not sow.”

PAL: “What happens if there is a third world war?”
Luke: Well, back to the rapture idea.”

PAL: “Bert and Ernie don’t count.”
Luke: “But the Count counts.”

PAL: *laughs like the Count*

Caila: “Is Gentry the good guy or bad guy in the book?”

PAL: “The point of being rescued is to rescue someone else.”

PAL: “Did anyone name any more post millennialists?”

Luke: “Jesus, Paul and John.”

Esther: “What about Winston Churchill and General George Patton? They were literally the only two people I could think of.”

PAL: “Why do you think the term ‘millennium’ is confusing to people?”

Esther: “It sounds like a spaceship.”

PAL: “With running jokes, you need a ‘too far’ police.”

Hunter: “Rose will volunteer.”

Rose: “I volunteer! Just always stop.”

Isaac: “I don’t feel like he made any concrete arguments.”

PAL: “So, you prefer cement arguments?”

Erica: “That’s why they don’t fit as pre mil is because they don’t fit.”

PAL: “I’m going to go ahead and accuse you of circular reasoning.”

Kaitlynn: “The taste [of prunes] isn’t bad, they just make me think of old people.”

PAL: “This is the problem with calling another view dumb; someone was smart enough to write something about it that is above you.”

PAL: “Most people live in an addition/subtraction model, but God wants us to live in a multiplication model and that’s where it becomes exponential.”

PAL: “Do you always have to have a carrot dangled in front of you to do the right thing?”
Kaitlynn (quietly): “But I don’t like carrots.”

PAL: “Is that why you don’t like me?”

Kaitlynn: “That’s not true!”

PAL: “Ignorant people cannot accuse a joke of being bad.”

Caila: “Ironsides… That’s the transformer, right?”

PAL: “What’s the most significant difference between post mil and pre mil views?”

Dylan: “Common sense.”
Erica: “He really wrote that down!” [on the test

PAL: “When you don’t have a value for something, you don’t see it.”

PAL: “Scripture drop.”

PAL: “Lord, thank you for the joy in this class. Thank you that we can laugh and joke at other people’s expense, including my own sometimes.”