Final Round of Full-Time: Summer 2017 Quotes From The Goobers At World Revival School of Ministry

My three years as a full-time student are over. One of these days, I might get around to writing the post that's been stewing for more than a month now... but that day is not today.

Instead, I give you the quotes of Summer 2017.


Kingdom Economics with Luke Ingala (LI)

LI: "Force yourself to sow."

LI: "Money is just a vehicle. You don't worship your car."

LI: "The stuff... I could look it up, but we'll just call it stuff for now."

LI: "Any old dead fish can go floating down the stream. It doesn't take a rocket scientist."

LI: "If I gave you a Ferrari..."
Hunter F.: "Oh, thank you Jesus!"
LI: "If you don't use it..."
Hunter F.: "What am I doing with my life?!"

LI: "We're either part of the world's economy or we're part of God's economy."

LI: "I didn't know how many clean people are in here. I like it."

LI: "People who have a lot, they're either going to be selfless or miserable."

LI: "You can't drive on three tires."
Erica: "Unless you have a tricycle."
LI: "Okay, you CAN drive on three tires."

LI: "The only reason things aren't happening is because you aren't doing them."

LI: "'The silver is mine and the gold is mine declares the Lord Almighty' so what does that mean?"
Caila: "It's ours too."
LI: "Booyaaaaaaaa!"

LI: "What's a cultural statement... Gucci!"
Caila: "That's a Sam statement."

Darren Thompson (DT): "I'm kinda an old fossil in that regard."

DT: "You were like a gold zillionaire."

DT: "In James, it says to be slow to......"
(pause) Class: "Speeeeeak?"
DT: "Good job. You even gave me a visual!"

DT: "Some people. they're like a little hobbit running out of the door to go an adventure."

DT: "I ain't gotta be slow about going to Taco Bell cuz I'm hungry and wanted a taco."

DT: "Does anyone think around here?"

DT: "If I have to explain jokes, they're not funny, so work with me here!"

DT: "Sam, do you know what a consumer loan is?
Sam: "Yeah"
DT: "What is it?"
Sam: "A loan to buy things."
DT: "What kind of things?"
Sam: "Material things."
DT: "What kind of material things?"
Sam: "I don't know."
DT: "Well, Sam, you just lied."

DT: "Guess what happened? I don't know cuz I forgot where I'm going!"

DT: "Imma start giving answers cuz y'all ain't guessin' right."

DT: "Lord, thank you for wisdom and scaring these kids."

LI: "It's going to always be harder to start, but if you don't start, you're never going to finish."

LI: "If it's something you want to do and you never do anything about it, it's called a wish."

LI: "Give me some of you all's dreams."
Sam: "I had a weird one last night."

LI: "P-h-i-l-a-m-p..." (trying to write philanthropist on the board)
Ryan: "This is tearing you up back there, isn't it."
Stephanie: "I'm dying."

Hunter F.: "Except squirrels. They don't listen very well."


How to Preach with J.D. King (JDK)

JDK: "...understanding of preaching through intense studying... well, maybe moderate studying. I know you guys too well."

JDK: "So, JD, you're saying you're a teacher who is antagonistic towards teaching? Yeah, pretty much."

JDK: "Emojis are like the return of stained glass windows."

JDK: "You can't fall in love with forms that aren't biblical and ones that aren't working."

JDK: "Nobody has any thoughts? That's cool."

JDK: "Your ministry is not your relationship with God."

JDK: "People say 'I wanna become a great preacher.' Well, become a great person."

JDK: "You're called to be a human being before a human doing."

JDK: "Am I making sense?
Class: (laughter)

JDK: "If you're a person of love and life and integrity, you're going to rise to the top."

JDK: "To move forward, you have to work on filling the holes."

Sam: "That ringtone!"
JDK: "You like my Indiana Jones ringtone? I'm on an adventure! I may be old, but I'm ready to change the world!"

JDK: "Starbucks' got this nice little thing called a front door."

JDK: "If you live like a rat, you shut off the favor."

JDK: "We're not actually striving for love; we're contending from love."

Sam: "We should put pants ON people. That would be impressive bullying."

Sam: "Every time I hear 'logos', I think of Doritos logos tacos from Taco Bell."
Erica: "It's locos!"

JDK on Doritos as a fire starter: "If it burns that good, you probably shouldn't eat it."

Sam: "Homily. Oh, not home-ly. I was trying to figure that out."
JDK: "Have you read your book at all, Sam?"

JDK: "True."
Sam: "Solid guess!"
JDK: "I've got to get you reading the book."
Sam: "I read through chapter two."
Erica: "It was in chapter one."
Sam: "I didn't say I retained it!"

JDK: "You will reproduce what's in front of your eyes."

(fire alarm goes off)
Sam: "I'd rather burn than get wet. Where's Steph? Come on, that was funny!"
Stephanie: "I'm going...."

JDK: "If you don't get inspired, you probably weren't called to preach."

Sam: "Can you clearly define topical? I don't want to accidentally break the law. You'll put me in spiritual jail."

JDK: "If it's a mist at the pulpit, it's a fog in the crowd."

JDK: "If the preacher needs a list, the congregation won't remember. Don't preach grocery lists."

JDK: "Prophets don't shape what they say. Preachers do."

JDK: "Which one is more pleasing to the eye? The one with straight lines."
(class gives several reasons for liking the funky shaped building better."
JDK: "I'm talking to millennials. That's the problem."

JDK: "I'd rather there be a lot less ideas in church and more encounter."

Caila: "Me, we, they, we, you."
PAL: "Say that faster."
Caila: "Mewetheyweyou! Mewetheymeyou!"

Hunter F. on room being hot: "I'm going to have to strip buck naked now."
Erica: "We're not that kind of church!"

(Sam makes weird noise while class thinks)
Hunter F.: "Hey, Elmo! Why don't you shut up?"

Sam: "I'm going to go out on a limb."
JDK: "That means it's either great or awful. Go ahead."

Sam: "How about we do three each day and one on the last day, then have a party."
JDK: "We have to have a final, Sam."
Sam: "I know. I'm just always looking for the party."

JDK: "Sam is more wired as a teacher."
Sam: "Whaaaaaaat?!"

Dylan: "30 thousand questions!"
JDK: "30 thousand questions? It's a final. Did you even go to real college?"

JDK: "I want people to like my sermon, Jesus!"

Esther: "They're very holy dogs now."


Warfare and Deliverance with Pastor Aaron Lage (PAL)

PAL: "This isn't BYOB.... Bring your own bucket... because there's gonna be some slime."

PAL: "This is a tough assignment."
Erica: "Mmmhmmm."
PAL: "Took the words right out of my mouth."

PAL: "This is a life requirement. Where I go, I drive out darkness. Where I go, demons aren't safe."

PAL: "My jokes are now getting rated on the same system as demonic activity."

Hunter F. on alternatives to wedding rings: "Give 'em a thimble!"
PAL: "That would be considered sexist. 'You're my woman, now get to sewing!' That's on tape forever now..."

PAL: "It's part of your inheritance to drive out demons."

PAL: "You should be able to stand strong on a Tuesday with no prayer warrior in sight for a couple days."

PAL: "Worst case scenario: Jesus is a giant sugar pill and we've all swallowed it."

PAL: "Being with God doesn't necessarily mean you're doing anything."

PAL: "Actually, I wouldn't mind being compared to Pastor Kathy, even if it's just for the temperature."

PAL: "Just for that lip, we're going down to 62 degrees!"

PAL on baseball fan excitement: "When people are excited about something, they let their feelings show... albeit, a few beers help."

PAL: "It's not arrogant to walk in your destiny. It's expected."

PAL: "Why don't you step out on a limb and get criticized for doing the right thing."

PAL about mic: "Are you picking me up?"
Dylan: "I'm picking up what you're laying down."
PAL: "On a cosmic level?"

PAL: "Cosmic evil is atmospheric evil, but it doesn't have to be your atmosphere."

PAL: "Speaker speak-es."

PAL: "I'm gonna go three more minutes because I haven't talked about your personal evil yet. *whispers and points around room* You're all evil."

Hunter F.: "It's like with vampires; you have to let them in."
PAL: "What's that have to do with anything?"
Esther: "Like vampires, you have to invite the darkness in."

Dylan: "I miss Rose. She's supposed to regulate this."

PAL: "You guys are quiet this morning. I wanted some discussion."
Esther: "Pick a different day."

Lee: "I have possession of this book but I'm not on the inside of it."

PAL while drawing on the board: "God delegated authority to... stick people!"

(PAL explains theory of bless you/ demons leaving during sneeze)
Esther: "So I held the demon in?"
PAL: "You're not blessed."

PAL: "Satan pays for worship. God doesn't pay."

PAL: "It's easy to think you're running fast when you're in the stampede, but you could just be carried along."
Hunter F: "He just called us cows."
Esther: "Or buffalo."
PAL: "I prefer wildebeests."

PAL: "You don't get to take a vacation from the Kingdom of God or you're going to end up taken over."

PAL: "...access to food and wifi, because that's the basic human needs."

PAL: "Guys, you're going to be driving and there will be a billboard with some chick that you're going to take in full on."
*Hunter F. covers eyes*
PAL: "You're driving, so please don't close your eyes."
Hunter F.: "Jesus, take the wheel!"

PAL: "It's time to not be eloquent."

PAL: "Can you turn [the air conditioner] down just one."
Hunter F.: "Before we all burn in hell!"

PAL: "If a lion comes into the room, feel free to run. Or, at least one of you throw yourself as bait so the rest of us can get free."

PAL: "As a Christian, you have boundaries set up that the enemy cannot cross."

PAL: "My marker's drying up. See, the boundary is faded and we have to protect it. (Grabs bright red marker to fix line) The blood of Jesus sets the boundary!"

PAL: "You have a boundary that extends pretty far, but you're convinced you only have to defend one square foot."

PAL: "Stop feeling like an entry level Christian with an entry level job. You're management. Better yet, you're ownership."

PAL: "Just because it's out of your control doesn't mean you are powerless."

Lee: "I'm wearing shorts in my heart."

Lee: "She's the only one who knows cursive."
Esther, Erica and Stephanie: "That's not true!"
Caila: "Wow. Defensive."
PAL: "You forget there are homeschoolers in here."

PAL: "When tall guys fall, our head goes a long way."

Esther on first impressions: "Everyone thought I was mean."
Caila: "You are a little assertive..."

PAL: "It's like a sandwich vitamin."

Lee: "He goes barefoot?"
Esther: "He doesn't wear his boots to bed!"


Kingdom of God with Pastor Aaron Lage (PAL)

Josiah: "Chewbacca is going to be in my video!"

PAL: "Lift your hands... pace if you want to. Just don't bring Chewbacca."

Josiah: "How can people think that? I mean, it's still clearly bread."

PAL: "The kingdom has to grow and advance to be the kingdom."

PAL: "We seem perfectly happy keeping Him as the door and standing in the doorway."

PAL: "The kingdom of God is within you."

PAL: "If the kingdom is here, you have a lot of experiences to have."

Josiah; "I have two revelations."
PAL: "There's only one book of Revelation."

PAL: "What does apocalyptic mean?
Emily: "I'm guessing it doesn't have to do with zombies."

PAL: "Why do you think separation of church came about?"
Emily: "Because we're idiots, first off..."

PAL: "Kingdom authority happens through speech."

PAL: "If you're online, when I was muted, I was not drawing a pair of sunglasses.  I want to re-frame your thinking."
(class giggles)
Emily: "You said re-frame!"
PAL: "I'm really punny. I don't know what you want me to do about it."

PAL: "We give too much credit to the devil. The devil doesn't care. He just wants to keep the rebellion going."

PAL: "The devil is always and only going to be defeated through us."

PAL: "If you have no pride, you have no problem walking up and praying for people."

PAL: "God made himself vulnerable to you. You have the ability to hurt God."

Rachel: "It's so sad, it's funny again."

PAL: "You almost said when you grew up."
Emily: "I did."
PAL: "Two years ago..."

PAL: "God's doing things in your life but you don't see it because your focus is off."

PAL: "Being authentic is being who God says you are."

PAL: "If I die, don't pray to resurrect me. I'm happy I'm there."

PAL: "It reiterates what happened in generous..."

PAL: "You think of... I lost my train of thought. You think of... just think."

Emily on laws in Leviticus: "...not supposed to use electricity..."
PAL: "That last one isn't in there."

PAL: "The blueprint of the cosmos is love."

PAL: "Kingdom culture supersedes man's culture every time."

Josiah: "I have a question. If this is way off topic, you can skip it."

Class: "False."
PAL: "But what is it?"
Emily: "That's not on the quiz. Move on, Pastor Aaron!"

PAL: "You don't deserve it. You're all rotten! I just really wanted to say that!"

PAL: "God is not in love with the future version of you."

PAL: "False why?"
Rachel: "Do you even poetry, y'all?"

PAL: "It's nice to know the voices in your head when they come out."

PAL: "If you're a ruler, what does that mean? 12 inches long?"

PAL: "I don't know how we would draw God, so I'm just going to make it a circle."

(Emily asks about life on other planets)
PAL: "All that's fun to think about, but for now, let's get back to earth."

PAL: "Did God really say, 'don't eat the Snickers, Lage'?"
Rachel: "Does God talk to you using your last name?"
PAL: "You know how coaches usually use last names? Sometimes I feel like God is my inner coach."

Emily: "This feels like a breakup song."

PAL: "In a pool, I will displace more water than you [Emily]. We are not equal!"

PAL: "Faith is exerted through love."

Emily: "Or [Abigail] could just miss it and end up 5'1" or 5'2" like me."
PAL: "She's already almost that tall."

PAL: "You do not yet know what you are capable of doing."

PAL: "What if the first thing we went to was faith."

Josiah: "Assume your religious positions."

PAL: "Don't use your prayer language to curse people out."

Emily: "...through maybe sacrifices..."
PAL: "Through BABY sacrifices?!"
Emily: "No! Maybe sacrifices! You should know me better than that, Pastor Aaron!"

PAL: "Women don't have a lesser role of authority."

PAL: "The two become one. You guys know how that works... the whole stork thing... and you multiply!"

JDK: "It's a very important doctrinal idea I's like to think I rooted in you a year ago, but apparently...."

JDK: "JUDAH WAS  SCOUNDREL! AND TAMAR IS A BIBLICAL FEMINIST HERO!"

Johnny: "Scandalous."
JDK: "Did you know that stuff was in here [the Bible]?"
Emily: "Whenever I was reading, I would always skip over it because I didn't want to think about it."
JDK: "You homeschooler!"

JDK: "All of you need to break out of your literal homeschool mindset."
Sarah: "I wasn't homeschooled."
JDK: "Good. You were pagan like me!"

JDK: "Boaz is the man!"

JDK at the beginning of class: "You guys are behind on the material."
(Later in class, Emily asks a question.)
JDK: "No wonder you guys are so behind!"

JDK: "You know Song of Solomon is a sex poem, right?"
Johnny: "We can't talk about that."
JDK: *Looks at camera* "You are right."

JDK: "That's a hunk right there. Not a hunk as in an attractive person. A hunk as in a chunk of text."
JoAnn: "Thank you for clarifying."
JDK: "I know you guys struggled with that one."

PAL: "We basically still worship baby Jesus in a manger. You can kiss on Him. He's cute. But don't get in our face with what? With kingdom authority."

PAL: "You don't know unless you do."

Jeffrey: "JD was talking about the pyramid thing."
PAL: "JD taught you a pyramid scheme?"

Emily: "Don't erase my writing!"
(JoAnn draws triangle)
Jeffrey: "Beautiful."
Emily: "Thank you!"
Jeffrey: "I wasn't talking about your writing."

PAL: "Jesus said to be child LIKE not childISH."

PAL: "He rescued you. He knows there's going to be darkness residue on you."

PAL: "This was a human role He came to fulfill. Why? To show us what it looks like to not be drowning."

PAL: "You need to become a sign and wonder."

PAL: "You had your hand raised a while back. Is it still relevant?"

PAL: "If it's not being demonstrated, it's not the gospel."

Emily: "I just really love this class. Also, I had coffee. That might be it."

PAL: "I wonder what I'd be like if I taught on coffee since I never drink it."
Josiah: "Oooh. I thought you meant teach ABOUT coffee."

Josiah: "Forget the final. Let's just talk about coffee."
PAL: "On what grounds?"
Class: "Ooooohhh...."
PAL: "I'm sorry."
JoAnn: "You don't have a filter."

PAL: "I'm pretty sure once I see one person raised from the dead, I'm going to be addicted."

PAL: "I don't know if angels are allowed to be on facebook."

PAL: "He's using the very people who were destroyed to destroy the destroyer. It's the ultimate defeat."

PAL: "Let him have ears to hear, and here's a hint, He's not talking about corn."
JoAnn: "Corn! Hahaha!"
Emily: "You would, JoAnn."
Johnny: "Wait, can you explain the joke?"
Emily: "And I thought I was the only blonde in the room."

PAL: "When you grow up in the light, you have to learn how to not take it for granted."

PAL: "The kingdom is costly, but the cost is worth it."

PAL: "Everyone is like this. Millennials might be more obvious about it... or post about it more."

PAL: "If you haven't given up anything for God, are you even His?"

PAL: "We're preaching get to heaven for free, but Jesus is saying lay down your life."

PAL mentions Facebook marketplace in story:
Emily: "I have one question. Sorry, I'm going to sidetrack you."
PAL: "On Facebook marketplace?!"

Emily: "It's so cold in here! What did you do when we left?"
PAL: "All the hot air left."
Emily: "That would be me..."

Caila: "JC in KC? What does that mean?"
Emily: "Jesus Christ! Do you not know the initials of your Messiah?!"

Emily: "Do you even kingdom?"

PAL: "What happens if your stranger asks questions?"
Johnny: "Throw a Bible at 'em!"

PAL: "Why is it when you started talking to that person, their eyes rolled backwards in their heads like a rolodex?"
Rachel: "How old are you?!"

-- I took the other two classes completely online. With my hectic schedule, I ended up listening to classes while doing other things and didn't take notes. Sorry. If any classmates wrote some down, send them to me and I'll add them in.--

Pastor Eric Thomason (PET): "We will cover 12 turning points. Well, you will. I won't."

(PET): "If you're in a Bible class, you should know what theology means!"

(PET): "Jesus didn't condemn, but He convicted the crud out of them."

Johnny: "What's your gifting?"
Pastor Jack Walter: "My gifting is pastor-teacher."
Johnny: "That makes sense now."


And on behalf of the 2017 World Revival School of Ministry graduates, I give you the class quote which was spoken AT LEAST once a day by someone...

"Oh man!"

Pick Up Your Swords And Prepare For Battle

Sometimes a before and after picture does more than remind you of your past. It highlights a piece of your future.

This weekend was the Arise women's conference at World Revival Church, and it was probably my favorite one yet. All of the speakers were on point with their messages, and Julianna Zobrist was a straight up blast. (Random dance party FTW!) I could go on and on about the wonderful weekend, but one thing hit me pretty hard, and it's kinda silly.

The Arise conference includes a photo booth, complete with goofy props and sparkly hats. After lunch, a couple ladies I just met and ate with asked me to join them for a shot. I grabbed my props, and while I was waiting on them to decide, I got a solo shot holding two swords.

But then, someone mentioned a meaning I hadn't realized.

The picture on the left is from 2015 and the one on the right is this year.

In 2015, I was in my second quarter at WRSM. As time would soon tell, I was pretty weak. I had a sword but didn't understand what that meant or how to use it. That's why there isn't a 2016 sword picture. I laid down my weapon and walked away from it for a while. I didn't realize what power I had access to at the time, and it is saddening to think about where I'd be now if I had avoided distraction instead of falling victim to it.

Thankfully, that's not where the story ends.

Now, I have a sword in each hand, not just plastic ones. As graduation approaches, I am more equipped spiritually and have a little better idea how to use it. Especially this quarter, I feel like new weapons are being placed in my hands, and let me tell you, it's nothing I ever expected of myself. My teachers are pushing us to really dig in and start figuring out how God wants to use us. They have been pushing us to sing, speak, write, and prophesy, which is all completely terrifying to me. I'm content serving behind the cameras, so having to preach in front of one is scary. But as much as I wanted to skip class and try to get out of the assignment, I did it, and then saw the words I spoke come to life not even 12 hours later. Little things like that are giving me the confidence boost that I think is visible in the second picture.

I'm not the only one being equipped and trained right now. I see so many women stepping up right now and I love it. A group of us started a book club, and our first selection talked about other people's success not taking away from ours, but rather raising the level of the whole squad. The old me would've been jealous seeing others be used in new ways, but now I see it as a blessing for all of us. After discussing the book, a few of us stuck around to talk more, and it turned into an amazing, encouraging time of prayer and prophetic words over each other. When Rachelle first turned to me and asked me to speak over her, I won't lie, my first thought was to distract and run. I kid you not, the sign over her shoulder inside the coffee shop said "I think you should go for it," so I did and it was a cool moment and kept the flow going for a while.

If there is anything that I've learned lately, it's that the voices telling me I can't do something are my biggest problem. I second guess myself and talk myself out of so much, it's silly. Not long ago, I felt like I should fill the gas can in my car and have my coworker put it in his car. I talked myself out of it, thinking he would say no to any help, like he normally does. What happened? He ran out of gas not half a mile away from the store. That moment really opened my eyes to the fact that I'm not without the ability, I'm without the willingness to take a risk and that needs to change. So I'm working on getting out of my comfort zone and listening to the Holy Spirit better. Who knows how many opportunities I missed in the past, but I can't afford to continue down that path. The world can't afford it.

As I write this, I was listening to "Strike the Ground" from Azusa Now on YouTube, but it switched clips to one by Rick Pino. I just heard the words, "I'm telling you the earth is about to experience a generation of people who know who they are because they know who their God is, and our God is Yahweh. And he is the Lord strong and mighty, the Lord mighty in battle." I was already planning to take this post in the direction of warfare, but that just cemented it (especially considering the song is "You're an Army" and I was going to use a line from that song as the caption on the new sword picture. God is really cool about confirming things!!)

One of the prayer warriors Sunday morning even spoke over me "You're God's warrior girl" and I feel like that is more true now than ever before in my life.

War is on our doorstep, so it's time for the army to rise and prepare. For the sake of backing that should up (Thanks Julianna Zobrist!), here's your scripture. Ephesians 6:10-13 says, "A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm."

Pick up your swords and learn how to use them now. You are about to need every spiritual weapon you have.

"Oh the weapons of our warfare, they are mighty through our God."