WRSM Spring Quarter Quotes: Wednesday/Friday Edition

Biblical Prophesy with Pastor JD King (JDK)

JDK: "You like the pictures? I'm trying to work with millennials. I'm trying to get used to it."

JDK: "Somebody might have a prophetic pastoral leaning. I should probably get that."

JDK: "The School of Ministry is getting almost old enough to vote!"

JDK: "You guys are like Superboy and you're just finding out you have super powers."

JDK: "[Class ends at] 9:50, technically. I'm going to try to be more honorable about that. Wait, who's up after me?"
Class: "Pastor Aaron."
JDK: "Ohhh... yeahhh..."

JDK: "How can you judge something if you don't process it."

JDK: "What do you do if you get smut on your hands?"
Erica: "Wash it off. Why am I the only one answering this question?!"

JDK: "Not everything you know is for everyone else to know."

JDK: "God doesn't respond well to inaction."

JDK: "Sometimes, what you say can transform the whole world."

JDK: "Put on your tights! Put on your cape! It's a sign for me to go into battle and be a superhero! Put on your spidey suit, man!"

JDK: "The prophetic isn't the miracle of speaking; it's the miracle of hearing."

Samuel on anointing oil: "It smells like Jesus!"

Dylan: "I keep thinking of BBQ. God likes the smell of a burnt offering."

JDK: "Our job isn't to run from the dangerous. It's to tame the dangerous for God."

JDK: "Faith is a willingness to ask and respond."

JDK: "Christians should make the best art, not this crap we normally see. Oh, Lord, I'm getting quoted. I stand by the quote, but still."

JDK: "Your gifts can take you far beyond what your character can hold."

JDK: "You could probably get any spiritual gift you wanted if you contended for it."

JDK: "If what you're saying doesn't edify the church, you better shut your mouth."

JDK: "In our society, it's actually worse to be socially awkward than a thief. There's something really twisted about that."

JDK: "Mates, dates and babies are good topics to prophesy about."
Class (jokingly): "True!"
JDK: "The answer is obviously false."
Esther: "Unless you want to get punched."
Dylan: "Fruit punch."
Esther: "I'm not a violent person, but there is a line."

JDK: "All things should be tested, including you and I'm doing it now. I should put that at the top of every [quiz]: 'Test all things.'"
Samuel: "Oooh! I get it now."

JDK: "If you've got a problem with this, get saved!"

JDK: "I want you to pick your favorite Bible character."
Samuel: "Jesus, duh."
JDK: "Besides the Son of God..."
Rose: "Holy Spirit!"
Erica: "God!"
JDK: "Besides a deity..."
Dylan: "Balaam!"


Honor and Authority with Pastor Aaron Lage (PAL)

PAL: "Anyone want to volunteer to take attendance."
Erica: "I knew you were going to say that."
Hunter F.: "Prophetic."
Erica: "I'm going to put that in my prophetic journal."

PAL: "Honor is easy when you feel it, but honor is not a feeling."

PAL: "Honor is more about the person doing the honor than the person receiving the honor."

PAL: "You are worthy of honor because of who you are in Christ."

PAL: "To honor people, you have to see people for who they're becoming."

PAL: "A culture of honor isn't built on what you need; it's build on what you give."

PAL: "He was telling [girls walking by] that they were going to hell for wearing pants. Not shorts! Pants!"
Samuel: "I'd just take my pants off right then and there!"
(not sure): "Cash me ousside."
PAL: "Did you just say cash me outside? I don't think I can recover from this... So, honor..."
Caila: "Because that's NOT honorable."

PAL: "It's like you're arguing with a gorilla. GRRRRRRRRRRR! (while fake pounding on his chest.)"

PAL: "What did you think of the chapter?"
Samuel: "It was cool to hear their story."
PAL: "I can always count on you for a deep answer."

PAL: "Danny Silk is a stud."

PAL: "Honor is not a formula."

PAL: "You don't hear people say, 'I'm a manipulative, controlling person.'"
Esther: "Well, some people do and they are proud of it, but they generally aren't Christians."
PAL: "Or they're in politics."

PAL: "You have to make sure love rises higher than the tension."

PAL: "Praying for the right thing is always the right thing."

PAL: "Do we know that Gabriel has wings? We know cherubim and seraphim had certain kinds of wings."
Esther: "So, he flew like Superman."
PAL: "We're creating our own modern Greek mythology."

PAL: "God is not subject to your Nintendo!"

Caila: "I got grounded one day, just one."
PAL: "She's crying just thinking about it!"

Samuel: "I fell asleep a couple times in church and I didn't care. Like, I got spanked a couple times in service."
Ryan: "In service?"
Samuel: "Yeah, they'd take me out and spank me."
Ryan: "Holy Spirit and fire!"

PAL: "We've got God up in heaven like, 'hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.' It's the trinity!"

PAL: "Evil is you being less than the son or daughter you are called to be."

PAL: "You are not empowered to follow Christ through guilt. You are empowered to follow Christ through love."

PAL: "A culture of honor deems everybody worthy."

PAL: "You're going to receive mos of your blessings from other people."

PAL on food: "Technically, anything that fills me up, I'm going to think it's beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

PAL: "Humor, for me, is a tool. Sometimes to annoy people."

PAL: "Anything that causes you to act out of fear is a poverty mindset."

PAL: "You becoming powerful brings heaven to earth. You realizing you are powerful brings heaven to earth."

PAL: "If you can't accept a gift or be a receiver, you probably haven't switched over to a kingdom mentality."

PAL: "It's that 'living for a weekend' mentality, but not a World Revival Church weekend, because those are powerful."

PAL: "You, many times, are the answer to your own prayer."

PAL: "As we're going to go on to... (looks at clock and hisses) I HATE TIME!"

PAL: "You make fun of flannel-graph Jesus but there are people saved today because of it."
Samuel: "What's a flannel-graph?"
PAL: "You should know what a flannel-graph is."
Caila: "I don't know what it is either but I kept my mouth shut."

PAL: "Apparently [making a whip] was a skill Jesus had already acquired."
Esther: "He couldn't just Google it."

PAL: "One of the best ways to honor someone is to allow them to be free."

PAL: "A lot of the time, you don't know the difference between getting pruned and cut off, so you respond like you're cut off."

PAL: "God's given you authority and you're still running back and forth along a one foot tall fence."

PAL: "Loving yourself is loving Christ in you."

PAL: "Your identity is in the body, the group, and that prevents isolation."

PAL: "You can't simultaneously walk in unforgiveness and walk in the royalty God has given you."

PAL: "Don't let dead religion suffocate your desire for greatness."

PAL: "If you can go through the gauntlet with God, what can't you do in real life?"

PAL: "If an angel shows up, I wanna tackle it! Preset! Like Pastor Steve teaches! Preset! If an angels shows up, tackle it."

Dylan: "Greatness does not involve algebra."
PAL: "Solve for x. X always equals greatness."

Hunter F.: "Deep fried in pride."
PAL: "Somebody's from the south. We can deep fry everything."

PAL: "We don't honor people because they are honorable. We honor people because we are honorable."

PAL: "I'm part of a secret society called the truth tellers."
Esther: "If you're part of a secret society, why are you telling us?"
PAL: "Because I'm a truth teller."

PAL: "He's the King of Kings, not the King of paupers."

PAL: "That was the second greatest sneeze I've ever heard!"

PAL: "Maybe [Moses] did some Judo moves... or Egyptian moves... or maybe he did hieroglyphics in the air."

PAL: "Your sense of injustice has to reach a higher level than your concern with what other people think of you."

PAL: "You can still fulfill your calling in camel hair with locust breath."

Erica: "[David] is the millennial version of a king."

Samuel: "Jesus roadies."

PAL: "Stop waiting for permission. Or if anything, I've given you permission, so now you have it."

Samuel: "Did we just trade Lee for doughnuts?"

Ryan: "I'm French."
Dylan: "That explains why you're such a coward."
Class: "Oooh!"
Ryan: "I'll take it."
PAL: "He's got a white flag of surrender in his pocket."
Ryan: "Always prepared."


Arts Through Church History II with Pastor Eric Thomason (PET)

Josiah: "We are calling it ATCH now."
Stephanie: "ATCH-TWOOO."
Josiah: "That's perfect."

PET: "What does monophonic mean?"
JoAnn: "One... phonic."

Sarah: "How do you spell that?
PET: "Francis?
Sarah: "No, Assisi. Nevermind." (writes 'A.C.C.' on board.)

Josiah: "As bad as these guys were, we have to remember there was good, too. Otherwise we'd still be Catholic."

PET: "If you didn't conform to the Church of England, where did you go?"
Sarah: "To JAIL!"

PET: "Maybe she's in the bathroom. I shouldn't have said that."
Hunter F.: "I can edit that out."
PET: "You can? Well, let's talk all about it!"

PET: "Just because they are shallow doesn't mean I have to give them a shallow song."

PET: "Where did Martin Luther get is church background?"
Emily: "Lutherans."

PET: "All of you in this room should be able to say 'prophetically speaks' before your name. Everyone in here can hear the heart of God and speak it."

PET: "That's how you really minister to people is when you've had pain of your own."

Josiah: "Everybody needs to buy a yo-yo."
PET: "I don't need to. They're already sitting in front of me."

PET: "Class is leaning to the right today."
Sarah: "Don't call us heavy!"

JoAnn: "Praise is like 'hallelujah!" and worships is like 'ahhh.'"

PET: "We don't want to scare people. That's God's job."

PET: "Some of it's pretty groovy. That's a 70's word."

PET: "Don't lose the rawness of worship."

Emily: "Can I agree but kinda disagree with you?"
PET: "There is no disagree."

PET: "God is not after pretty. He already knows what pretty sounds like. He's perfect. He's looking for rawness of spirit."

Josiah: "There was one service, we didn't sound so good for the first couple songs."
PET: "I know. I was there."

(JoAnn's hand keeps going higher.)
Emily: "Are you stretching?"
JoAnn: "Some of us don't like to project our opinions everywhere!"

PET: "I love that line that says, 'no one dared ask Him anymore questions' and I'm like, you are an awesome Savior."

PET: "You guys don't know how easy you have it." (about 100 times.)
Emily: "Lemme guess, we don't know how easy we have it."
PET: "Didn't I just say that? You should write that down."

PET: "Don't ever ever ever let a religious person talk you out of what you feel you're supposed to do for God."

PET: "Finding God in worship has zero to do with music."

PET: "There's probably one you want to do, but someone else is going to pick it."
Josiah: "So, you want us to be disappointed?"
PET: "Yeah!"

PET: "The weightiness of God is what changes your life."

PET: "Many times, the maintainers of the move of God are more important than the starters."

PET: "Pentecostals are all in and wacky as heck."

PET: "He woulda hater all of you. He hated Brownsville. He hated Toronto."
Emily: "Well, that's unfortunate because I'm pretty nice."

Hunter F.: "That's gonna be my fruity hand."

JoAnn: "Every time we say that, I picture a little lamb sitting on a biiiig chair."

PET: "John Wilkes Booth wrote that. Wait! No! William Booth. Wrong Booth."

PET: "If I took the little guitar off little tight pants, he wouldn't know what to do."

Sarah: "No one wants to touch your sweaty elbows!"

PET: "When you know it's God, you can't listen to the critics."

PET: "Josiah, can you pray for us since you just put a Pop Tart in your mouth?"
Josiah: "Yep. First of all, thank you Jesus for Pop Tarts. I love 'em."

Everyone Hates 2016 Except For Me

I've been dragging my feet about writing my annual year in review post because I'm one of approximately 14 people in the world who don't absolutely abhor this year.  I mean, some people created a horror movie trailer with things that really did happen over the past 12 months. While some bizarre things happened around the world, 2016 was actually pretty great for me.

There. I said it.

I remember sitting in church last November when my friend Bridgett passed me a note with a heart on it that said. "Let His hope be your new beginning." About a week later, Pastor Steve said 2016 was the year of new beginnings. For Christmas, Jill gave me a bracelet with the word "hope" on it. Little did I know how accurate all of that was.

2016 had a pretty rocky start, but hitting that low forced me to dig in and decide that I was going to move forward, no matter how much it hurt. Believe me, it did quite a bit. There were some major hurdles, like losing Jill and so many others in the spring, and my cousin just passed away this week, on top of the every day struggles of life. While those lives are very dearly missed, I've seen time and time again over the past 12 months where God twists a scenario and makes it good. It's pushed me out of my comfort zone, and that is where the growth happens. There was so much good, I could yap about it all day, so this will just stick to the broad generalities.

This year put some of my life-long goals in the 'done' category. As long as I can remember, I've wanted to do certain things, but never really thought of them as possible. It was more of a "wouldn't that be nice" type of thing. Some might be deemed silly, but that's your choice to soak the joy out of a situation.

In 2016, I finally read through the entire Bible (after many attempts that didn't make it past Exodus), I read more than 50 books, I got my passport and left the country, I traveled alone, I visited Pearl Harbor and marked D-Day at the National World War II Museum. I sang karaoke (horrendously), jumped off a cliff into a river, kayaked, swam out to a waterfall used in a movie, stood on an extinct volcano (although, I question if this counts since I didn't see lava). My team earned an Emmy nomination, and I'm now back on track to graduate earlier than I should have, but it's on time with the rest of the class.

I'm getting my vision back, but this time, it's coming with follow through.

Then, there were the bonuses. I lost track of how many ballets, musicals, plays, operas and concerts I went to, but bucket-listers like Underoath, Switchfoot and Panic at the Disco are on he list. Chance the Rapper, Winter Jam, and TobyMac's tour were entertaining. I got to meet amazing people, like Marvel's Stan Lee, Gary Sinise from Forrest Gump, Nicholas Sparks, Rainbow Rowell, Barry Williams from 'The Brady Bunch', the guys from Underoath, and Pearl Harbor survivors including Donald Stratton. I got the opportunity to coach young girls in volleyball and be a part of a kids show that's going to reach people around the globe. I was blessed with the ability to get a new car and laptop this year. Heck, I even sprang for a gopro camera, finally. I caught up with old buddies, made new friends and learned who never really fit that title in the first place, and became a better friend to others. There were so many adventures and shenanigans throughout the year, it's crazy to think about how blessed I was.

All of that is fun, but it's the inner changes that are more important. I became stronger and more stable in who I am, while also developing a softness and vulnerability at the same time. It's the weirdest thing, but God is complex like that. I feel like I grew so much, yet have so much more work ahead. Pastor Eric always says, "with God, the journey is everything," and I am thoroughly loving the adventure He's writing for me in this time. It's creating the me I was supposed to be all along, but lost in the flesh's struggle to fit in. Let's face it: I was never meant to be classified as normal.

Despite all of these amazing moments, I know it's just the beginning. It's a thought which is both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. 2016 saw the first few pages of a book come to life and the shiftings to set up some big things in 2017. I keep thinking of the line from Switchfoot's song "If the House Burns Down" which says, "I may not know what I want from this life but I know I want more than the starting line." The next couple months are going to be filled with some deep thought and visioneering as some interesting possibilities are floating around. That's just what I see, so who knows what God still has in His pocket for me. Pastor Steve said 2017 is the year of opportunity and I cannot wait to see how everything will play out.

I hope you grab ahold of the hope for a better life that is found only in Jesus. If He can turn my life around so drastically in just one year, just think where you could be 12 months from now.  Think about what JD King preached last night: "Jesus wants to meet you where you are so He can take you to where He is." He makes all things new and will give you more than what your heart desires when you trust Him.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Final Fall Quarter Quotes from World Revival

On this eve of Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for all of the gems dolled out at World Revival School of Ministry, in spite of being so wrapped up in school that I've had no time to write here. I'm also thankful for the goofy people in those classes who make them more entertaining and provide me with an endless supply of crazy quotes.

Ministry to Children

Pastor Mark Pederson (PMP): "A child left to himself will have to fight for himself in the spiritual realm."

PMP: "If Owen goes nuts, there'll be some carving. Don't know on what..."

PMP (on spanking): "Oh no! Christians with crowbars!"

PMP: "Don't let the challenges of revival living blow you out of it."

Esther: "My mom would be like, 'your brother has a bad attitude and it's all your fault' so she'd spank me instead of him."
Lee: "Well, that's what God did with Jesus."

PMP: "You can't serve and minister with a slave mentality."

Hunter D (on speeding): "In my defense, my wife got me into a conversation which got me driving a little aggressively. I didn't let off on the downhill."
Caila: "'That woman you gave me...'"
PMP: "You need a code of conduct!"
Hunter D: "I need cruise control!"

PMP: "You ever feel like 10 pounds of sin on a popsicle stick? I have too!"

PMP: "Mowing the lawn is rest for me. In my mind, I'm mowing over demons and chopping their heads off when they pop up."

PMP: "If Bob has a problem with Bill and Bob has a problem with Betty, Bob has the problem... and it might be the devil."



Israel: Tabernacle and Feasts (streaming from Canada, so instructor couldn't hear our comments)

Dylan: "I like feasts. I was a Baptist."

Lee: "I don't speak Canadian."

Pastor Brent Rudowski (PBR): "God was the first barbecue guy."

PBR: "You can't follow God any way you like. The hard way is the best way because you grow from it."

PBR: "The lesson there, God will give you what you want, but there is a price for it."

PBR: "The joy of life is in the pursuit."

PBR: "God is a very slow mover. I think He's getting old."

PBR: "Have you finished what you're doing right now? No? We'll then you don't need to know anything else right now."

PBR: "That was another rambling rabbit trail! *points finger gun at floor* Pshooo!"

PBR: "What's your value? 30 pieces of silver? Are you worth more than Jesus?"

PBR on Jesus: "He's not a nice looking white guy,"

PBR: "Not everyone wants to go through the Jesus gate."

PBR: "Every sparrow that falls to the ground, God knows. Every spider you step on, God knows!"

PBR: "So, the audio's good?"
Erica: "Don't know. You haven't been talking."

PBR: "Can you remember that for the test? No? We'll I don't want you to."

PBR: "God smelled the offering and said, 'I like that.'"
Hunter F: "Mmmm barbecue."

PBR: "We understand set apart. We just pick and choose what we set apart."

PBR: "Was it Joplin... Joplin, Missouri? [class: yes!] Yeah, Missouri. Or was it Kansas? Joplin, Kansas. [class: noooo!] You people in Kansas City are laughing at me."

PBR: "Sin, to the believer, in God's eyes, is only supposed to be accidental."

PBR: "I've found that some people don't know.... things."

Esther: "I cant lip read Canadian. I'm not sure where all the 'ehs' go."

Rev, Aaron Biro (RAB): "We're all coming in a bit turkey-comaed."

RAB: "A good way to start the new year is to get Satan messed up and confused."

RAB: "It looks like I counted to eight, but I guess I just forgot to count my thumb."

(Canadian speaker passes around picture of her son's Bar Mitzvah)
Jacque: "Here's a picture of my dad's Bar Mitzvah so we don't feel left out."

RAB: "When was the last time you got up and had a little happy dance with your Bible?"

Caila: "You were saying other mean things, but I deleted them from my mind to keep my innocence!"


Life of David

Ben Woodward: "Just because we've come a long way doesn't qualify us to say we've arrived."

BW: "Stop looking for a singular anointed man of God to come fix your problems for you."

BW: "David's life of devotion was the key to his success."

BW: "Why is God empowering creatives? Because they are the ones with vision."

BW: "We are the crowning glory of His creation, not His clowning gory."

BW: "Greatness does not mean a life of ease."

BW: "Hiddenness is a painful reality for a creative."

BW: "What if your creative gift was given to you to set the captives free."

BW: "Who were they believing? [long silence] Jeeeeeeeesuuuuuusssssss."

BW: "That will give you courage: when you're standing in front of a giant and your destiny is not yet fulfilled."

BW: "Do everything you can do until God opens the door."

BW: "Transition always begins with something ending and we have to be ok with that."

BW: " They might not be demonized but they can still be a thorn in your flesh because you know what you're called to do."

Pastor Kathy Gray (PKG): "The best way to shut the mouth of the enemy is to have a revival. Get something good going in your life."

PKG: "Sometimes, the biggest battle is to just keep standing."

PKG: "You can become an apostle for $500 a year."
Kevin: "That's it?!"

Heather Eschenbaum (HE): "What brought David's success? Obedience and his great Facebook page. Or posting on his snapchat. Every day. I don't know what that is but it sounds dangerous."

HE: "It's time to have some positive soul ties."

HE: "Real love will give you armor to fight with."

HE: "Treat offense like a spider on the leg. Spiders on the leg are bad, but jealousy is much, much worse."

PKG: "Please learn this before I start throwing water at you. I was tempted for a second but I don't want to ruin your Bibles."

HE: "Marriage amplifies your problems. If you are a rat..."
Kevin: "You are a big, fat rat!"
HE: "You are the fattest rat that ever was!"

HE: "Do not stalk in a creepy way. Stalk in a godly way, like Elisha."

HE: "Maybe, if you're a jealous person, you don't need to have a spear with you."

HE: "You just kick yourself in the butt, and hear my voice if need be."

HE: "I'm hip! I know what people are about these days! YouTube!"

HE: "You may hav a prophesy over you, but your life could get harder because of it."

HE: "The cave could be protection for you. Don't hate the cave. Possibly decorate it. You might be there a while."

HE: "I can't have dairy. I can't have gluten. I can't have sugar. I can't have fun."

HE: "Are we waiting on someone? Oh, that's the donut chair."

HE: "The Bible is not in everyone who reads it."


Genesis: A Study of Beginnings

Pastor Aaron Lage (PAL): "Anyone know what cosmology is?"
Esther: "I know what cosmetology is."
PAL: "This is not about painting your nails."

PAL: "Has anyone heard of gap theory? [class raises hands] What's gap theory?"
Erica: "I don't know. You asked if we'd heard of it."

PAL: "The Bible assumes God; it does not try to prove God."

PAL: "There are biological viruses that could wipe out humanity, why not a digital virus that could wipe out humanity?
Samuel: "I think there's a verse about that."

PAL: "The point of science is to change. The point of God's word is to not change."

PAL: "He's like, 'look in the sky. It marks a new season of my goodness' and we're like 'oooh! Bloodmoons!'"

Hunter F (while flapping arms): "You know, Imma need some pretty big wings to fly away."
Dylan: "I just have to jump."

PAL: "Hey, little spider. I would flick it, but I think some of you would run."

PAL: "In our attempt to be like God, we undermined how we are already created to be His image bearers."

PAL: "You need to be you, because when you do so and walk in the authority you've been given, you are the image of God on the earth."

PAL: "We were given authority over the birds of the sea."

PAL: "That's one of the benefits of the curse then: I get to eat steak!"

PAL: "When we talk about containers and filling, we're not talking about a really good pie."

PAL: "You and I don't even come along until day 6. We're the pie filling! I'm the cherry on top."

PAL: "Religion always kills when it's not getting what it wants."

PAL: "When you give in faith because you listened to God, you don't know the dividends it's going to pay."

PAL: " Good to know we're flying through Genesis. My goal is to get through chapter 11 because then I'll beat Pastor Tom."

Esther: "What if [Enoch] didn't disappear? What if he just exploded because he saw too much glory."

PAL: "I'm not going to say sarcasm is sinful or anything."

PAL: "No wonder [Pharisees] wanted to kill Him. Jesus was talking in sarcasm font. The words in red are sarcasm."

Caila: "Who names their kid Ham? I mean... It's cool. It's fine. Every time I read over it, like, 'you're such a ham.'"
PAL: "You know he preceded pork, right?"

PAL: "What if you stood before God completely silent and whatever He said, you did it?"

PAL: "It's kind of amazing what you can get ou of the Bible, even in the most awkward story."

PAL: "You ever chase down a vulture? They are big birds... and not the fluffy yellow one from Sesame Street."
(10 seconds later)
Hunter F: "Big Bird."
PAL: "Yeah, it was a joke."
Hunter F: "Ohhh."

PAL: "The enemy doesn't push his word; he comes in and twists God's."

PAL: "It's like when you hit your funny bone. It hurts but you laugh because it's your funny bone."
Hunter F: "I don't. I cry."
PAL: "So, for you, it's your not-so-funny bone."

PAL: "What if the only reason you get blessings are because you had the audacity to ask God for it?"

PAL: "What if the things God wants to say to you are so outlandish, you wouldn't believe it?"

PAL: "You know how when Heather's talking and she's making you laugh and then, it's like, ah! *stab motion* the sword of the Lord!"

PAL: "How many chances has God given you but you aren't willing to give others those same chances."

PAL: "God is not a journalist. *laughter* And everyone looks at Steph."

PAL: "Laughing at yourself undermines pride. If you can't laugh at yourself, you need to check your pride."

PAL: "And Ishmael is apparently a dramatic 17-year-old boy because he is going to die."

PAL: "I'm almost 30. Imagine a 130-year-old man trying to tie me up against my will and sacrifice me to the Lord."
Hunter F: "Ain't happenin'."
Dylan: "I like your posture."
Hunter F: "You're more Viking descent. You'd have to shrink yourself down a little."
PAL: "Ok. Maybe Isaac wasn't as tall as me."

PAL: "Isaac has to be a willing participant."
Hunter D: "Or he'd fall off the altar."
PAL: "Fire safety! Stop, drop and roll!"

PAL on covering a mic to cough: "Are you coughing from your heart."

PAL: "This is supposed to be a really dramatic part of the story and we're all laughing."

PAL: "So, I'm at the gym and this black guy walks up to me..."
Dylan: "Why's he gotta be black?"
PAL: "Because of what I'm about to tell you. He was like, 'are you Irish or just really white?'"

PAL: "We started this class talking about laughter and it really set the tone."

PAL: "Lot's wife doesn't get named, but Abraham's brother's concubine gets named. How terrible of a person are you?"

Erica on Wednesday after presidential election: "Hump day."
PAL: "Trump day."

PAL: "Hearing God's voice should make you hungry to hear more from Him and call on His name."

PAL: "That thing you're battling, what if you overcome it so your child won't have to face it."


Healing: Doctrine and History

Pastor JD King (PJK): History invite us to be both excited and offended."

PJK: "You can hate if you want, but I hope you don't."

PJK: "I'll give you the Macy's word and then I'll give you the Dollar Store word for it."

PJK: "I'm going to give myself 2-3 classes for this."
Erica (whispers): "More like 4-5..."
PJK: "Erica, I say that because I'm prophesying to myself."

Kris: "Are the quizzes pop quizzes?"
JDK: "No pop quizzes. I'm not a fan of pop. Blues, maybe."

JDK: "It's hard to heal a body when you say bodies don't matter."

JDK: "Humanity is made of and for the earth."

JDK: "When we defy God, we are inviting and allowing Satan to come in and do what he wants."

JDK: "It's not my burden to carry the weight of the world. Jesus already did that."

JDK: "A lot of healing prayer doesn't work because it's aimed the wrong direction."

JDK: "Healing is not a miracle. Miracles are extraordinary. Healing is not."

JDK: "You got something to say, Sam?"
Samuel: "It's good. I mean, I agree fully."
JDK: "I'm glad you agree with the Bible."

JDK: "We never build our theology on our experiences. We build our theology on what God said."

JDK: "If you don't cheat on your wife... she won't beat you up."

JDK: "The anointing is to do something."

JDK: "Did you guys read the handout."
Steph: "No."
JDK: "Well, I appreciate Steph's honesty. Most people just stare at you when the didn't."

JDK: "Obedience enables healing to transpire."

JDK: "Ok, let's get back on Jesus here, if we can."

JDK: "I'm expecting you guys to be super honest. You know back in the Bible, if they lied, they got struck dead."

JDK: "You've gotta decide if you're going to be powerful or not."

JDK [teaching about story in Acts 20:7-12 where man falls from roof and Paul raises him from the dead.]: "It's awesome on so many levels."
Steph: "Literally."

JDK: "Do a drive-by and shoot tracts out the window."
Dylan: "Have you ever done that?"
JDK: "No, Dylan, I have not done a drive-by."

JDK passing out quiz: "I know you;re auditing but have fun and do it anyways."

JDK: "If you're going to operate in [healing], you have to be ready to go to war."


Elements of Leading Worship

Sarah: "What's the name of this class?
Pastor Eric Thomason (PET): "You better know how to lead worship or you're dead."

PET: "True worship comes from a place in your heart that you can't explain to anyone else."

PET: "I can't follow a guy or girl who has their eyes closed all the time. Sooner or later, they are going to run into a wall."

PET: "Worship is a weapon."

PET: "You need to watch 'Braveheart.' It will make you a real mean girl. FREEEEDOOOOOM!"

PET: "If you want to be involved in worship in any way, you do not have the luxury of saying whatever you want."

PET: "If God places you somewhere, do it with all your heart because you never know what it will lead to."

PET: "Have you heard of the Jesus Movement."
Emily: "Is that like What Would Jesus Do?"

PET: "Is there any church like what you just described?"
Emily: "Yesssss...."
PET: "Where everyone is likeminded?"
Emily: "I retract my answer."
PET: "I know I said there are no wrong answers, but that was a wrong answer."

PET: "People's lives are not changed by listening to someone sing a pretty song."

Emily: "Just to clarify, you want this to be about Jesus?"
PET: "Yes, I want it to be about Jesus. In case you haven't heard, He's our Lord and Savior."
Emily: "Just covering my bases."

PET: "Do you know what a synonym is?"
Julianna: "Yes."
Josiah: "She just showed you up."
Sarah: "I know what a (mispronounced synonym) is."
PET: "I'm glad you know what cinnamon is."

Emily: "Can you roll back like five steps?"

PET: "You don't know what tap is inside you that is words that the church needs."

PET: "Pastor Mark is standing out there holding a giant inflatable football. I did not expect to see that coming out the door."

PET: "They had better be on it or they're gonna get a look from me."

PET: "God does not give His heart away for free."

PET: "You can never have too much coffee, for the record."
Josiah: "Until you're sitting on the toilet."

PET: "I had more to say."
Emily: "I have that problem all the time."

Josiah: "Like, when you're playing hide and seek and you can feel their warm breath."
Emily: "What kind of hide and seek were you playing as a child?"
Josiah: "Like in a closet!"
PET: "Maybe we don't want to know."

Emily: "Oooh! Oooh! You could put 'go to war.'"
PET points at 'kill' on the board: "Thanks, Braveheart."

Emily: "I'm going to sound stupid, but whatever."
PET: "You aren't going to sound stupid... unless it's stupid."

PET: "Well, what do you think it means."
Emily: "That's great. I love it when you do that."

PET: "For those o you on camera, I'm talking to Steph, who is staring at me from behind the camera. She is doing it sweetly, though."

PET: "....twirling, although men should never twirl."

PET: "Worship clears the clouded mind."

PET: "There is nothing worse than worship that sounds like a bad country song."

PET: "It is impossible to take people to a place of conflict if all you sing about is yourself."

PET: "Sermons alone cannot change the face of a church."

PET: "Are you giving her a hard time? Good. She needs it because she is Steph."

PET: "Why did I pick C?"
Emily: "Because it's easy."
PET: "Why is it easy?"
Emily: "Because it's all white keys."
PET: "Jesus, help me."

PAL: "I think you should write it like an acrostic."
Emily: "This is why you aren't teaching the class."

Sarah: "I'm not saying anything about who wrote the song or the content of the song or even if it's a good song. I'm just saying you can put words in songs."

PAL: "The girls didn't think that was funny."
Emily: "I wasn't paying attention. I was writing."
PAL: "Don't listen to the teacher. The notes are more important."

PAL: "Go be a whiner somewhere else."

Emily: "I'm not criticizing. It's just the highlight of my day."

Emily to PAL: "Ohhh, you're THAT old?"

Emily: "I'd cry."
PET: "Why would you?"
Emily: "Because I need help."

PET: "You will know what to do or I will pull your fingernails out."

PET: "You learned something! You're not stupid! That didn't sound very nice."
Emily: "Thaaaanks."

PET: "Without the presence of God, it's just singing songs."

PET on calling God 'daddy': "I don't climb in God's lap and cuddle! Heck no!"

PET: "Everything flows out of relationship."

PET: "If you are expecting everyone to bend over backwards to adapt to you, you are not a good leader."

A Mixed Bag Of Quotes: World Revival School Of Ministry's Summer 2016 Quarter

We are now one week away from a new school year at WRSM. It feels like we were just in class two weeks ago. Oh, right. We were, but I'm totally fine with that! It was a dang good quarter; challenging, but full of growth and so much joy, as you are about to read. 

Honestly, I'm glad life worked out the way it did so I could be in classes with both groups. The different levels and personalities made those ten weeks all the more enjoyable. I got to know people I had only seen in passing, and the first year group really became a family to me. I can't wait to see how things unfold when we get mixed up together in the upcoming classes. 

So, without further ado, a selection of quotes from the summer of 2016. (seriously.... there are so many  more! It was a good quarter.)

New Testament Survey

Pastor Jack Walter (PJW): “Don’t drink whiskey in class! At least pass it around!” (on a 5 hour energy shot)

PJW: “That’s how I think people’s minds work sometimes… like jello running all over the place.”

PJW: “What was his first name? Graham? That was here last week?”

Steph: “Cliff.”

PJW: “Thank you. That name doesn’t stick. Graham does. I like graham crackers.”

Jacque: “There’s a Polycarp too?”

Samuel: “Is that like a bunch of fish?”

PJW: “How’d we get off on that tangent? Oh! Listening!”

Inspired speech

Heather Eschenbaum (HE): “God created you with a mouth, but not to complain.”

HE: “If I don’t look like an influence, why would I be given the chance to influence.”

HE: “As your spirit goes down, so does your voice.”

HE: “Whatever you want in life, you have to pursue it strong.”

HE: “Your internal is eternal.”

HE: “Intellect doesn’t give you compassion.”

HE: “Don’t run from the hardship. Pray through the hardship.”

HE: “We shouldn’t have to be pulled along by our apathy.”

HE: “To have compassion, go to war.”

HE: “I didn’t want to write it. I should’ve called Stephanie!”

HE: “Here’s this spiritual giant and I’m a pipsqueak in Jesus.”

HE: “Don’t ever call it a car. It’s a Jeep. If you call it a car, a kitten dies.”

HE: “Create something that will last.”

HE: “Guess what! Everyone mentors you, even your enemies.”

HE: “If you’re going to have a testimony, let it be wild.”

HE: “If you want people to be changed by your talk, you have to relive it and feel it.”

Samuel: “He goes and builds the wall. Wow. That’s summarizing the heck out of it.”

HE: “Extra credit to whoever makes Darren cry!”

HE: “And then you start to sound like a turkey.”

Christian (guest): “Give me something good.”

HE: “Well, it’s the word of God, so…..”

Ryan: “I pray that you let your A-ness shine through.”

Santesa: “That’s not gonna work.”

HE: “I’ve never heard anyone ruin a prayer before.”

HE: “If Florence gets them all, you are not a royal priesthood!”

HE: “You don’t have to spell it right to be it.”

HE: “Trash talk IS Ryan’s love language.”                               

Samuel: “I write humble the best.”
HE: “You might have to fight Ryan for that.”

Samuel: “Planet shakers!”

HE: “Surely that’s in the Bible somewhere.”

HE: “You know who was the first farmer?”

Ryan: “Adam!”

HE: “THE LORD!”

HE: “But I have the amplified, so it amplifies.”

HE: “If you are going to judge others, you are taking away your opportunity to help them.”

HE: “Transition brings out the best and worst in you.”

HE: “The spiritual realm is stolen so much more because the enemy comes to steal it.”

HE: “If you’re on a slippery slope, you’re going to slip.”

HE: “Every day you have a conversation with the enemy, you are eating of the fruit.”

HE: “I don’t sound like Hunter, but I pray I sound like Whitney Houston. When Whitney Houston passed, I prayed for her anointing.”

Samuel: “Then we walk in, this rowdy bunch, being all,  you know, normal.”

HE: “They have the spirit of God, but they don’t trust it.” MOST CONVICTING THING EVER!

Samuel: “He’s replacing your fear with fierce love.”

Steph: “Your sweetness is a strength.”

HE: “Why am I eating barn in a blanket?!”

Samuel: “I’m lost. Is there a type L for lost?”

Samuel: (Chews gum into microphone) “How awesome does that sound?”

Steph: “Sounds like you’re going to get punched.”

Samuel: “Punched?! What type is that?”

HE: (laughing) “She’s so much smaller than you and she’s going to punch you!”

Prayer: Adoration and proclamation

Ben Woodward (BW): “War doesn’t wait for you to be ready.”

BW: “We are sons and daughters of the living God and the only time the enemy has authority over us is when we give it to him.”

BW: “If I said, ‘Can God provide finances in a time of need?”

Class: “Yes.”

BW: “But if I said, ‘Can God do it for you in your circumstance right now?”

Class: “Yes.”

BW: “Right. We’ll you’re all a bunch of charismatics.”

BW: “Unbelief is not a petty issue. It is a rampant disease. It’s out of control in the body of Christ and that has to change.”

BW: “The ability to work with God comes from us.”

BW: “The enemy knows if you believe the lie, you’ll perpetuate the sin on your own.”

Jill Koppang: “I’m going to write on the board because I’m a teacher and I know how to do that.”

Jill Koppang: “We should be praying things that are the passion of our heart.”

BW: “Adoration prayer allows us to see with different perspective.”

BW: “God is not after half-hearted lovers.”

BW: “Every slight misstep is an opportunity to discover God.”

BW: “God’s not going to rescue you out of the situation. He’ll empower you to endure it.”

BW: “I think, sometimes, we as a human race, that’s kinda how we operate with the Lord, is where we’re jamming our head into the armhole of our shirt.”

BW: “We strive to show our self-worth through our independence.”

BW: “Let’s be real. I’m a glorified karaoke singer.”

BW: “When you sow, you don’t reap one to one. You reap 100 to one. That’s the point.”

BW: “What you stare into is what you become like.”

BW: “A bi-product is, when we understand Him, we understand ourselves.”

BW: “God doesn’t answer prayer. He answers people.”

Who We Are In Christ

Pastor Eric Thomason (PET): “What God does in the spiritual realm dictates what happens in the natural realm.”

PET: “If you’re an over thinker, you’ll over shoot the simplicity of God.”

PET: “With God, the journey is everything.”

PET: “No matter how much you know about God, it’s not the same as knowing God.”

PET: “When you make God more comfortable, you automatically get more comfortable.”

PET: “You wanna know what true arrogance is? It’s you giving yourself the right to say who you are against what God has said.”

Santesa: “Standing behind [your weakness], you become weakened behind it.”

PET: “Whatever dominates our minds will eventually come out.”

PET: “It’s the church’s authority to say what will happen on this earth.”

BW: “The most painful lesson we can learn is God is not in a hurry.”

End Times Perspectives

Pastor Aaron Lage (PAL): “He’s the guy who talked about escalators and they always say, ‘sorry, temporarily out of order’ when they  should say, ‘sorry, temporarily stairs’ like they’re never really our of order.”

Esther: “Oh, I was thinking elevator not escalator.”

(PAL almost spews water.)

Caila: “Can you say that again then?”

(Pastor Aaron doubles over trying not to choke on water.)

PAL: “I really almost choked on my water.”

PAL: “The sad thing is, Steph’s going to watch this later. She’ll be able to rewind and really quote it.”

Esther: “You’ll just have to cut it and she won’t be able to.”

PAL: “This video gets found on whatever is left of the internet a millennium from now. They’ve got to figure out what a butt dial is. Is it a button you push with your butt? And why is it so funny for people?”

Erica: “If you’re not careful, someone will actually make a button you dial with your butt.”

Caila: “I ate ALL the animals!”

PAL: “Why is that funny?”

Dylan: “I pictured him riding a hippo.”

PAL: “I thought you were going to say something about hungry hungry hippos.”

PAL: “You should’ve heard of Packer.”

Erica: “Not unless it was the Green Bay Packers.”

PAL: “Christianity without churchianity decapitates Jesus from His body.”

PAL: “If you’re not letting the Bible shape your view, the world is shaping it.”

PAL: “Guess what. I’m not watching my horoscope for when Jesus will return!”

PAL: “I’m playing dev… not devil’s advocate. I’m playing angel’s advocate.”

PAL: “God works through process.”

PAL: “To a certain degree, God wants it to affect your faith. That’s why it’s a trial of your faith.”

PAL: “My goal in here isn’t to answer every question; it’s to create more.”

PAL: “Humor is so much fun.”
Isaac: “By definition.”

PAL: “Sometimes it doesn’t translate between cultures.”
Luke: “Or IQs.”

Caila: “Huh?”

PAL: “You may be completely right, but you need to value relationship over your right-ness.”

PAL: “Rapture jokes are fun. Sometimes I get caught up in them.”
Isaac: “Sometimes they go over my head.”

Kaitlynn: “Was that a joke?”

(talking about 1 Corinthians 13:8)

PAL: “But go down a little and knowledge wouldn’t be for today, which is why it’s so hard to argue with them! It’s the same sentence! Mic drop!”

PAL: “He’s not saying God owns the cattle on a literal thousand hills. The rest are the devil’s.”

PAL: “A stay-at-home mom has a greater ability to raise disciples than a man in the workplace, and guess what, she’s given all authority.”

PAL: “What if out first response is to walk in ALL AUTHORITY?”

PAL: “There are more churches in America than McDonald’s”

Kaitlynn: “Woah!”
PAL: “America might have more denominations than McDonald’s. There are technically more Subways than McDonald’s, but that’s a whole different story.”

Luke: “We could turn all the Walmart’s into churches. Intercom.”

PAL: “Because that’s great sound quality.”

PAL: “The only time the enemy has power is when we believe the lie.”

PAL: “You view is an interpretive process. My view is an interpretive process. The Mormons are just on crack.”

Esther: “So, you’re walking with a friend and all of the sudden, you walk through a wall and they don’t?”

Thora: “I wasn’t a Southern Baptist. I was a first, regular Baptist.”

PAL: “Welcome to the 90’s, which is just the leftovers of the 80’s.”

PAL: “Sin is not God’s kryptonite.”

Erica: “It’s a prepositional phrase. It starts with ‘to.’ Homeschooled.”

Caila: “Hashtag.”

PAL: “You have a defeated foe and everything he is whispering, he is whispering through a jail cell.”

Luke (praying over the test the whole class forgot about): “Let us reap what we did not sow.”

PAL: “What happens if there is a third world war?”
Luke: Well, back to the rapture idea.”

PAL: “Bert and Ernie don’t count.”
Luke: “But the Count counts.”

PAL: *laughs like the Count*

Caila: “Is Gentry the good guy or bad guy in the book?”

PAL: “The point of being rescued is to rescue someone else.”

PAL: “Did anyone name any more post millennialists?”

Luke: “Jesus, Paul and John.”

Esther: “What about Winston Churchill and General George Patton? They were literally the only two people I could think of.”

PAL: “Why do you think the term ‘millennium’ is confusing to people?”

Esther: “It sounds like a spaceship.”

PAL: “With running jokes, you need a ‘too far’ police.”

Hunter: “Rose will volunteer.”

Rose: “I volunteer! Just always stop.”

Isaac: “I don’t feel like he made any concrete arguments.”

PAL: “So, you prefer cement arguments?”

Erica: “That’s why they don’t fit as pre mil is because they don’t fit.”

PAL: “I’m going to go ahead and accuse you of circular reasoning.”

Kaitlynn: “The taste [of prunes] isn’t bad, they just make me think of old people.”

PAL: “This is the problem with calling another view dumb; someone was smart enough to write something about it that is above you.”

PAL: “Most people live in an addition/subtraction model, but God wants us to live in a multiplication model and that’s where it becomes exponential.”

PAL: “Do you always have to have a carrot dangled in front of you to do the right thing?”
Kaitlynn (quietly): “But I don’t like carrots.”

PAL: “Is that why you don’t like me?”

Kaitlynn: “That’s not true!”

PAL: “Ignorant people cannot accuse a joke of being bad.”

Caila: “Ironsides… That’s the transformer, right?”

PAL: “What’s the most significant difference between post mil and pre mil views?”

Dylan: “Common sense.”
Erica: “He really wrote that down!” [on the test

PAL: “When you don’t have a value for something, you don’t see it.”

PAL: “Scripture drop.”

PAL: “Lord, thank you for the joy in this class. Thank you that we can laugh and joke at other people’s expense, including my own sometimes.”

Second Quarter Quotes

Now that I've slept for about a week straight to kinda sorta catch up on all the rest I missed the past 8, it's time to put a bow on winter quarter at the World Revival School of Ministry. For some reason, it feels like it lasted forever. That's probably because it was an incredibly bumpy few weeks outside the classroom. Or it might have been the enemy attacking since we were covering such important topics. Each class was its own unique blend of wisdom, powerful moments and laughter, but each class changed us deeply. I just went through my notes and typed out most of the quotes I wrote down. They aren't in any particular order, other than grouped by serious and hilarious. There are a lot, but a lot happened during those 120 hours we spent in the classroom. I hope at least one quote helps you through whatever is going on in your life.

• "We don't let the enemy drag us where we don't want to go." - Autumn Darden
• "Survival isn't dignified. Do you want to be pretty or free?" - Autumn
• "Grace of God is an empowerment. It's not mush-gushy. 'I still love you anyway' is not grace. That's mercy." - Autumn
• "God wants us to BE better, not DO better." - Autumn
• "Hungry people don't care about you. They want help." - Pastor Steve Gray
• "We don't want to be the people who say 'This is who I am.'" - Pastor Steve
• "Things are happening while you are sitting here thinking about what you are going to have for lunch!" - Pastor Steve
• "Don't start asking if you don't have any honor or respect for Him." - Autumn
• "Everything that can be shaken, will be shaken." - Autumn
• "If you've decided who you are and who your trust is in, you will not be shaken." - Autumn
• Anything you don't expect is there to shake you." - Autumn
• "If it's too hard, you haven't grabbed a hold of the strength of the Lord and are doing it wrong." - Autumn
• "We don't want an emotional response. We want a Word response because that's what changes your life forever." - Pastor Steve
• "If you don't respond, He'll quit speaking to you." - Pastor Steve
• "When it's all about you, it's hard to be happy." - Autumn
• "Prayer is easy when you recognize Him as supreme ruler." - Autumn
• "America is Martha. We don't know how to be Mary because we think Mary is lazy." - Autumn
• "Hypocrisy in religion causes you to be lower. It pushes down. It doesn't pull up." - Autumn
• "Wanna see more miracles? Respond to the word you've been given." - Autumn
• "God doesn't like a shortcut relationship. Good enough is not good enough. It's an attitude that there's no excellence put into it." - Pastor Eric Thomason
• "It's the 'nevers' that cause us to be greater because eventually, you'll end up doing it. Don't ever short change God in your life and say 'I'll never do that' or 'I'm not good enough.'" - Pastor Eric
• "Don't be mad at the world for being the world!" - Pastor Eric
• "Don't get impatient with God. With God it is about the journey, because when you find fulfillment, the seeking is over. The journey ends when you are dead." - Pastor Eric
• "If you notice God isn't speaking, you've either gone too fast and need to back and let him walk you through it, or you've stopped praying." - Pastor Eric
• "You need to recognize what is in you will bring life to a dying world. It will bring light to the darkness." - Pastor Tom Trout
• "The battle for recognition is easy. Throw yourself into Jesus." - Pastor Tom
• "Worship needs to reinforce, powerfully, the truth of God." - Pastor Tom
• "Whenever you say yes to God and no to the world, you are putting the enemy under your feet. There's an escalation there." Pastor Tom
• "You can't self-deliver you. Deliverance is something only God can do." - Pastor Tom
• "Do they walk away from their experience with you blessed? Or do they walk away from their experience with you drained?" - Pastor Tom
• "Your perspective dictates your response. You base your response on what you see." - Pastor Dustin Smith
• "We've been taught in church to sing, not to see. We've been taught that silence equals reverence." - Pastor Dustin
• "Commands are for me to experience the benefits of God. Traditions only allow me to experience people." - Pastor Dustin
• "You don't give thanks ahead of time because you don't have it, but giving thanks ahead of time shows we know we already have it." - Pastor Dustin
• Pastor Dustin's acronym for Worship = Worth & Warfare, One focus, Response, Shifts atmospheres, Honor, Invigorating, Purpose & People
• "The best way to be responsive in worship is to ask to be sensitive to what to respond to." - Pastor Dustin
• "When your worship is just rules made by man, it brings no life." - Pastor Dustin
• "You can have your eyes fixed on the monster, but I prefere to look at the growing fire that consumes the monster." - Pastor Tom
• "Each one of us, because we are human, are like a fingerprint of God, and a fingerprint is a form of identification." - Pastor Tom
• "Prayer and action go hand in hand. It's not something we do. Prayer is who we are." - Pastor Diana Trout
• "In order to do something with your life, your going to have to get off the path of least resistance." - Pastor James Koppang
• "Walking with God is more important than being blessed by God." - Pastor James
• "You are blessed to be a blessing." - Pastor James
• "We've got a lot of work to do on the men of our culture. Our culture really messes up girls' brains about what's worthy of being pursued." - Pastor James
• "Don't be an idiot." - Pastor James
• "People are moved more by the weather than by the Holy Spirit. That's why God lets the weather get out of control so they will ask the Holy Spirit for help." - Heather Eschenbaum
• "There is always going to be a mocker or two, so don't get bummed." - Pastor Kathy Gray
• "Perfectionism kills the anointing. Analyzation kills the anointing. Analyzation kills the blessing." - Heather
• "Perfectionism, you need to recognize it in yourself as a flaw." - Heather
• "Looking inward causes people to die around you. Introspection causes harm." - Heather
• "Evaluation is important in a moment, not a lifestyle." - Heather
• "God is like, 'Stop talking to my enemy and I'll kill it.'" - Heather
• "The mistakes will never stop. Mistakes will never stop until you are in heaven. Your mistakes should spread out. Prefectionism takes you back to the start." - Heather
• "It's golidlocks syndrome. You're either too young or too old. You'll never be just right." - Heather
• "If we already had it, it wouldn't be called hope." - Pastor Kathy
• "He's not looking to make your life hard. He's looking to be a part of it." - Heather
• "It's not about the bar. It's not about the club. It's what's been birthed in you to get you to that point." - Heather
• "If Mary had been concerned about having a boyfriend or getting married, she would have missed a move of God." - Heather
• "You don't really love him. You're in love with love." - Heather
• "Type A people, don't be driven. Type B people, come up." - Heather
• "Word of wisdom rises above common sense. It's divine." - Heather
• "Elijah was looking for heart. The guy with the mantle was looking for hearts." - Heather
• "You are on an accelerated path with your mantle. This is an Olympic training center. You are being trained for the Olympics of God." - Heather
• "Don't let the enemy cover you in the things that aren't of God." - Heather
• "People leave because they don't want to have to change anymore. The people who succeed are the ones who transform from glory to glory in Jesus." - Heather
• "If you want to live a spiritual life, stop talking about the things you don't have and talk about the things you do."
• "You never lose in the Kingdom of God by giving what you have." - Pastor Kathy
• "It is a rare breed who do not get offended by the Word. It's ok to feel a response. It's another thing to feel offense." - Heather
• "Elisha didn't find the mantle. The mantle found him. God looks for true leaders in the field of obscurity." - Heather
• "What has God called you to? He's called you to more." - Heather

But not every moment was serious. Sometimes, things just got silly. Some might be 'had to be there' moments, but they cracked us up like none other.

• "What are you going to give up for lent? Uh... lent!" - Pastor Steve
• "We've been freed in Christ, yeah, but not freed to be an idiot!" - Pastor Eric
• "We are a car one moment an a monster the next!' Pastor Diana (on transforming our passions back and forth)
• "Knowing the capitals of all the states is not going to help me in my life. Ever." - Pastor James
• "To squander our time is borderline sin. I won't go all the way and say it's sin because then you can't quote me! I said borderline!" - Pastor James
• "I'm sorry son. You can't see, but your mother really likes her hair." - Pastor James (on financial priorities)
• "At some point, you're going to have to ask her to marry you. If that's your first conversation, that's weird!" - Pastor James
• "Did you just say you are happier when Trevor shuts up?" - Kimi "Now THAT is funny!" - Pastor Diana
• "That would be borderline hell for me, having a Q & A with you guys." - Pastor James
• "I go talk to the people who are smiling. If they are frowning, pffft! Unless I feel like I need to go check on them, because I'm a PASTOR!" - Pastor James
• Don't 'woooaaah' me! 'Wooooaaahh' God... If you're feeling saucy today." - Pastor James
• "Healthy does not mean a size one... girls! You might wanna have a little extra on ya for the winter!" - Pastor James
• "I realize eating gallons of gummy worms is not good, but they're so good." - Pastor James
• "Your wife has every liberty to comment on how you're maybe becoming overweight. You have zero to say to her. Like Nazi! Communist! DO NOT!" - Pastor James
• "Somebody, Dustin, introduced me to 24. He didn't tell me it was like crack! I can't label it anything other than straight pagan!" - Pastor James
• "Pastor Steve and Kathy are not type A. They are type Jesus." - Heather
• "You cannot be this happy and be a perfectionist, like Rainbow Brite comin' outta ya!" - Heather
• "He's so comfy. He's like a big sack of potatoes." - Pastor Kathy (about her cat)
• "Being single is a gift. Write that down!" - Heather
• "Holy Spirit Mafia." - Pastor Kathy
• "No, you want her poor little mind to explode!" - Heather
• "I'm trying to break open your minds and reach my hand in and pull something out. Don't make me do it for real!" - Heather
• "Is that a man you want to raise children with? 'But he's hot.' Well, then your children will be pretty punks." - Heather