The Road To Nashville Is So Easy It's Scary

So... Life update for those who don't already know: I'm moving. To Nashville. Tomorrow.
For some, this seemed like a sudden move, but it wasn't really, if I'm honest.

I've been thinking about my next move for a while. In my 'day' job, it's normal to do your two years and move on to a bigger city, so staying in the same place on the same crappy shift, it's a bit unusual. I stayed for Bible college, and then I stayed to keep my spot in the German fellowship. This time, my contract and lease ended on the same day shortly after my car registration expired, and I didn't have an anchor holding me here. I had been in the early phases of seeing someone, but prayed that if God did want me to move, then the distracting boy needed to go. Three days later, he had a girlfriend and it wasn't me. (One day, I'll learn to stop using that prayer! Lol.)

The focus in on Nashville started back at BookCon in early June. I was in line for a signing and ended up chatting with a publicist who had a shared background. I mentioned my recent-ish graduation from Bible school and her jaw dropped. "Have you thought about moving to Nashville?"

Click.

It's hard to put into words, but it felt right in the deepest parts of me. People have mentioned a variety of cities they thought I should check out, but nothing ever resonated like that mention. When I got home, I got distracted with other offers and the aforementioned boy popping up out of nowhere again. When one of the pastors mentioned thinking I was distracted (however, it was in reference to thoughts of leaving), that's when I had the realization that staying was the distraction because it came with the easiest bait there is. However, this was all right before San Diego Comic Con, so I was buried in research and couldn't think about my future at the moment.

A couple weeks after returning to KC, the pull to Nashville hadn't burned off like I honestly thought it would. Over ice cream, a close friend encouraged me to at least try and know instead of sit in the what ifs, so I did.

Of course, I soon had another offer to stay put, but I couldn't do it. I prayed for the right path to be a quick and easy one. Well, it was about three weeks from application to offer with my soon-to-be supervisor out of town for a week, and news director out the next, so yeah, quick and painless.

Even after all that, I've still been dragging my feet. I know in the deepest part of my spirit that this is the right move, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Kansas City has been a part of  my life since I was 8 years old. I haven't lived very far from it since. My friends are here, and some of those friends are more like family (some are closer to me than my blood family.

Even though I knew all along that KC wasn't a forever stop, it doesn't mean I ever dared to picture my life in another city. Even now that I'm forced to face this reality, it still doesn't feel real, not even while loading my car.

During one trip lugging a box to my trunk, I stopped and looked at my door. I have a pink chalkboard there, which has had the same verse written on it since I was going through a tough time back in February. Jeremiah 29:11. "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

I don't know the plan right now. This is a blind move. I don't really know anyone in Nashville. I've never really been there aside from a pit stop for food on a rowing trip. I haven't been to my workplace. I picked an apartment blindly. This is all so incredibly unknown and it is terrifying.

But, when God tells you to go, you pack up your car and you go, and trust that He will keep His promise of plans for good and not harm. I really wish I knew what I was heading into, but I have a feeling, if I could see what was ahead, I'd still be trying to run the other way. I'm just that stubborn sometimes.

30 Before 30 Challenge Update (AKA It's My Birthday)

Dang. It's my birthday again. Crazy how time flies and how much life changes in just one trip around the sun. I've accumulated a mess of stories in the last 365 days, both good and bad. I earned my 3rd Bachelor's Degree and finally made it to Europe as a 28 year old. I met some big name stars and spent time with the stars in my life. Through it all, I gained a lot more independence and confidence, and learned more about who I am. I may not always fit into this wild world, but I'm okay with that most days. People come and go, but the ones who are meant to be there will stay.

Now for the promised update! It's been six months since I started the #30before30 challenge, so here's a little update on the adventures and what I still need to do over the next 12 months.

1. Publish a book. Yeahhhh... I've made zero progress toward this one, sadly.
2. 

   Get into Hall H. I This one was actually a lot easier than I thought, even with my cheat. I used my news cred to get a reserved seat for the Supernatural panel, so I kinda cheated, but I also waited in line with my sister for a couple hours so she could get in too. No camping required.
3. Go skydiving. Nope.
4. Create something and sell it. Haven't really made time to be creative, really. Other than knitting.
5. Pay off student loans. In progress.... still....
6. Cook through an entire cookbook. In progress. Picked up Joanna Gaines' cookbook and made exactly one thing out of it: banana bread.
7. Watch 50 of AFI's 100 best movies. I don't think I've really started this one. I mean, thanks to MoviePass, I've watched way more current movies, but I can't think of any being on the list.
8. Learn a ballroom dance. Nope.
9. Go to a national park. Happy accident! While in San Diego adventuring with my sister, someone told me to check out the Cabrillo tide pools. Turns out, it's a National Park. Not what I had in mind, but I got so sunburned, my arms looked like "ground chicken" from all the blisters, so it counts.
10. 
    Go to a book expo. Book Expo America and Book Con in NYC... check! Met bunches of authors and came home with 84 free books, so I guess I'll call that a win. ;)
11. Read more classics. I have finished 35 books so far this year.... but none are classics. Fail.
12. Go on a random road trip. Well, technically this happened... just not how I planned. I envisioned traveling somewhere on a whim for fun. Instead, I ended up driving back to Michigan for the first time on about 18 hours notice because my grandma died. It is the longest drive I've ever made, and completely unplanned, so therefore, a random road trip happened.
13. 

    Get another piercing or tattoo. Got my nose pierced in February and I love it. It's funny how many people thought I had it for years or didn't notice until I put in a bold turquoise hoop. Heck, I even got away with wearing it on tv.
14. Learn basics of an instrument. Nope.
15. Take a MasterClass. Nope.
16. Go ice skating. Nope.
17. NYC Comic Con. Pending... Approved, but hasn't happened yet. October, here I come.
18. Get my concealed carry permit. I might revamp or swap this one out since it's not really necessary in Missouri.
19. 

    Go ax throwing. I am totally in love with this one. I'm not great at it yet, but I know we are gonna keep trying.
20. Take a kickboxing class. Not yet.
21. Visit at least one more continent. Sadly, nooooo. The wanderlust is so real.
22. Go rock climbing. Not yet.
23. Learn to use the DSLR. I mean, I've used it and snapped some great pics, but don't ask me how or why.
24. 
    Crochet something. Did a couple granny squares with my granny. I don't know which was worse: my crochet ability or my grandma's slams about my suckiness. ("Are you sure you graduated college? You don't know how to count." lol)
25. Scrapbook the European trip. I bought the books and picked pictures to print... so progress?
26. 

    Take a Krav Maga class. Krav was so much fun, even with getting a black eye! Definitely need to go back, it my schedule would ever line up with the class times!
27. Go to an NFL game. Fall is coming... Football is coming.
28. Finish an entire adult coloring book. In progress, about 15 times over... oops.
29. Explore my city. I made it to River Market for a short walk, but that's about it that I can remember.
    
    
    
30. Do something that makes an impact. Still trying to figure this one out.

There's just one more year left in my 20s and who knows what will happen next, but here's to jumping into the next adventure and whatever challenges may come.

Fearless in New York City

What a difference a few years can make, right?

Eight-ish years ago, I visited New York City for the first time. I worked for my university's paper as the multimedia editor at the time, and was part of the crew sent to cover the first-ever Pinstripe Bowl.

While it was exciting to go on a free trip, it was also pretty intimidating to face the so-called concrete jungle just days after a blizzard. Yes, I had people with me, but they were just as unsure of everything as I was.

It was a memorable trip, but not really in the greatest of ways. We were out trying to find our hotel until two in the morning when we had to be at the stadium at nine. We only saw Times Square and the stadium. One member of my team had become my ex in the two weeks leading up to flying to NYC. I was assigned the most annoying intern of all time, who did exactly nothing I needed him to. On top of it, we lost the game.

It was a pretty miserable trip.

I remember standing on the subway platform, so freaked out, and not just because of the giant rats. We were all so lost and scared of all these imagined threats that you hear about in big cities. It was emotionally draining and exhausting.

Flash forward to this past week.

I was pretty nervous about heading to NYC alone and worried the past would repeat itself with another miserable trip.

But this time was so different.

Over the last couple years, I've latched onto the words "fearless" and "fierce" and wore a necklace with one of them when I traveled. I mean, when you arrive at midnight, you need whatever reminder you can get.

Not gonna lie, smartphones were a major help keeping me sane, but it didn't stop me from getting pretty anxious on the subway. The first couple days, I constantly checked my phone to make sure I hadn't missed my stop. It didn't take me long to get comfortable enough to read on the ride. However, the first time I tried, I got on the train going the wrong direction. I didn't notice until I had gone all seven stops. Oops. But, instead of fully freaking out when my GPS didn't work underground I figured out a couple alternate routes and made it work. I guess all that getting lost in Germany paid off.

It struck me around the third day that I wasn't walking around in fear. I wandered without plans or any real clue of where I was heading. I walked to where I was staying alone in the dark, and it didn't freak me out like it used to. It was pretty nice.

Isaiah 43:1-2 says, “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."

The only time I was remotely nervous was when I was walking to catch a train and saw two guys getting into a fight ahead of me. We're talking ripped-each-other's-shirts-off-body-slam-on-concrete kind of tussle. It wasn't the fight itself that put me on alert. It was after their friend got them up and moving but they were still yelling at each other. Police pulled up and the boys refused to stop. I work in news, so I've covered too many instances of problems with police and unarmed black men to not be a bit skittish with that kind of situation. However, once I got closer, the friend was able to pull the two boys aside and talk to police, while I walked by. I hope that situation turned out okay.

Were there other reasons to be afraid? Probably. But instead, I got to experience an amazing week and see some incredible sights I would have missed had I stuck with the safe plans.

Bonus: so many people I met thought I was "impressive" "brave" and "badass" for doing something like that on my own, so thanks for the confidence boost, NYC!

The Lesson For Christians In The "Wonder Woman" Movie

Courtesy: Warner Bros.

There's this little movie out in theaters right now called "Wonder Woman". Maybe you have heard of it, since it is smashing records at the box office and making history for the women behind the scenes. Being the geek that I am, I watched it twice within the first five days it was in theaters, and I loved every minute of it. If you have not watched it yourself, read on at your own risk. There are some spoilers ahead.

The most surprising thing to me and the group of 20 church-going women with whom I saw "Wonder Woman" on opening day: the powerful Biblical parallels that can be applied to us right now.

Yeah, you read that correctly.

Early on in the film, Hippolyta tells Diana a story of war and how it came to be. It follows Greek mythology of Zeus, the king of the gods, creating humans to be good creatures. Ares, the god of war, became jealous and corrupted man, sparking evil behaviors and bloodshed. Sound familiar? Sounds a lot like the creation story and the battle between God and Lucifer if you ask me.

Without going too deep into the plot, Diana leaves her safe home island of Themyscira with an Allied spy to go kill Aires, which would break his spell over mankind and return earth to peace. Despite some wonderfully done fight scenes, Diana's plan does not quite work out. She and Cap. Steve Trevor get into a fight, where she rehashes some of her mother's final words in the film, "Be careful in a world of men. They do not deserve you." Steve tells her that it's not what about what is deserved, but what you believe.

Courtesy: Warner Bros.

It's a point she does not full comprehend this until she sees Steve sacrifice himself for the greater good. The grief breaks her free and she finds herself positioned to kill a human who succumbed to Ares' whispers (helloooo, Lucifer!). In that moment, she flashes back to a conversation we could not hear earlier in the film. It's the conversation where he tells her that he loves her, then runs off to sacrifice himself for the people at the base.

Instead of killing the human, she marches toward Ares and says, "It's not about 'deserve'. It's what you believe, and I believe in love."

That moment is so incredibly powerful and appropriate for the time we are living. How many times do we, as Christians, discount our ability to do something or forget who we are? Just like Diana, we are created from the dust of the earth and brought to life by the breath of God (Genesis 2:7). He is the King of Kings, so therefore, as His children, we are royalty. (Romans 8:17a, Romans 8:14, John 1:12). The last verse there specifically says, "to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God."

It's not about what we deserve, but what we believe. If you believe God is who He says He is, then you have to take His word about who you are too. You have the authority through the King of Kings to be a warrior princess (or prince) on mission to set the world right.

And how does that happen? Through love.

1 John 4:8 says, "But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love." If you have spent any time in Christianity, you have probably heard that the goal is to be like Christ, therefore, our goal is to be a picture of love to the world.


It's not our place to judge, because we ourselves are not worthy. Judging others knocks you out of the promise too. Instead, we are to fight darkness by being the light of love; by being like Jesus.

God cannot be defeated, so we should draw power from His example. We fight from a place of victory, not for it. Since we have already won, we should fearlessly run into battle like Diana leaving the trenches, knowing that no weapon formed against us will prosper.

My dear wonder women around the world, don't listen to the whispers of the enemy leading you toward destruction. Don't listen to the people who speak negativity and say you cannot achieve your purpose. Be like Diana. Know what God created you to do. Fight fiercely and fearlessly to achieve that goal. You are a warrior princess for the King of Kings, and He created you to do great things.

Birthdays, Camping Trips, and Celebrations: Living the Good Life Without Fear

What should I be doing right now? Writing my final paper for Pastor Aaron’s class.

But that’s not what I’m doing, is it?

Nope.

I can’t focus.

Why?

Because I’m about to explode with happiness.

I haven’t been writing lately, one, because I’m crazy busy with school/work/Kids Ablaze, and two, because life is so freaking good. I don’t want people taking it the wrong way or trying to drag me down off my cloud.

But, today, I just don’t care anymore. Life is so sweet.

Maybe it’s the nostalgia because of my birthday kicking in and making me think about where I was a year ago. I mean, even the difference from six months ago is still pretty stark. On top of those thoughts, this week-ish just had to go and kick all kinds of tail.

I got to see a couple of my favorite musicians from high school with my high school best friend, who is also celebrating her birthday this week. Panic! At the Disco and Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness did not disappoint, plus there was Weezer.

A bookstore co-worker took me paintballing, to an arcade, and to dinner (where she got them to sing to me while playing a tambourine. Girl’s got skills.) We wrapped the night up with Cards Against Humanity and Bo Burnham at another co-worker’s house. Twas a thoroughly splendid evening filled with laughter.

There were a couple days filled with treats. And by treats, I mean: cupcakes, Oreos, a frappucino, chocolate torte from a complete stranger, cheesecake, several donuts, cookies, more cheesecake, wings, and some fun gifts. (Thank you to everyone who spoiled me!)

I managed to get off work to enjoy a night out with my bestie, Aubree, to celebrate her upcoming wedding and birthdays. I got to be surrounded by friends in line to do a gravity ropes course as midnight struck on my birthday. We played laser tag, and somehow got guns that named me Batman and her Joker. It was a blast! Even sitting in a McDonald’s parking lot at 2 a.m. was fun!

After church, the #oddsquad loaded up with the WRC Young Adults clan to camp and float. I seriously love how my girls were so well prepared. Several guys asked us for supplies, which was hilarious. We also upped the cooking game by making macaroni and cheese and raspberry cherry cobbler on the campfire. We ended the night with about 40 people worshipping around the fire and under the stars. It was amazing. Although it stormed overnight and we woke up soaking wet, it was still an awesome time, even before we hit the river. I got to make the 8 mile water adventure in a kayak with Esther, which was a pretty great combination. There were so many shenanigans as we made our way down the river.

This is the part that stands out to me: overcoming fear and uncomfortable situations.

Something most people don’t realize is that I’m not a great swimmer. (It’s especially funny considering I was a Division I Varsity rower in college who may or may not have failed the swim test. Oopsies.) That little fact made me a bit nervous about the kayak trip. I decided I wasn’t going to let that fear stop me, so of course, it was put to the test.

During our lunch stop on the river, somehow, everyone ended up climbing a muddy cliff and sliding down into the river. I started to head over, but felt the current and that it was deeper than I could reach, and quit. After watching for a while, I decided I was going to do it, so I grabbed Esther and we swam into the strong current. Sammy grabbed us so we didn’t drift too far downstream. Our crew had a good system going to get people up to the top, despite the slippery mud. Sliding down was a mucky blast! Somehow, it turned into a mud fight and mud wrestling.

Then came the next mental challenge: jumping off the cliff into the river. It took a while to work up the courage for that one. Break time was up, so I leapt off that ledge and made it back across the river. There are several old friends of mine who would be completely shocked and probably won’t believe that it happened since I refused to do anything of the sort for years.

Heck, I chickened out of kayaking in beautiful blue waters in Canada, but was able to drum up the courage to do it in a mucky Missouri river instead. I know, I make sense.

The point is, I did it. I let go of the fear and had a blast making wonderful memories. Even doing the gravity ropes at the bachelorette party was out of my comfort zone, but I told that little doubting voice in my head to shut up and leave. I took control.

I think that’s why I’m finding life to be so sweet lately. I overcame my past and let go of caring about how people see me. I know I’m not the only one who has struggled with this or will in the future, but God can flip it all around. Now, I’m learning to let go of fear and doubt to overcome limits I placed on myself and enjoy the moment. Kelsey gave me a necklace more than a year ago that said "fearless," so it's about time I actually live that word.

It’s a new level of freedom and I’m loving it.

I feel like this is a lesson that will be coming in handy in the near future, and it’s exciting. I can’t wait to see what’s ahead in this next year of life.