WRSM Spring Quarter Quotes: Wednesday/Friday Edition

Biblical Prophesy with Pastor JD King (JDK)

JDK: "You like the pictures? I'm trying to work with millennials. I'm trying to get used to it."

JDK: "Somebody might have a prophetic pastoral leaning. I should probably get that."

JDK: "The School of Ministry is getting almost old enough to vote!"

JDK: "You guys are like Superboy and you're just finding out you have super powers."

JDK: "[Class ends at] 9:50, technically. I'm going to try to be more honorable about that. Wait, who's up after me?"
Class: "Pastor Aaron."
JDK: "Ohhh... yeahhh..."

JDK: "How can you judge something if you don't process it."

JDK: "What do you do if you get smut on your hands?"
Erica: "Wash it off. Why am I the only one answering this question?!"

JDK: "Not everything you know is for everyone else to know."

JDK: "God doesn't respond well to inaction."

JDK: "Sometimes, what you say can transform the whole world."

JDK: "Put on your tights! Put on your cape! It's a sign for me to go into battle and be a superhero! Put on your spidey suit, man!"

JDK: "The prophetic isn't the miracle of speaking; it's the miracle of hearing."

Samuel on anointing oil: "It smells like Jesus!"

Dylan: "I keep thinking of BBQ. God likes the smell of a burnt offering."

JDK: "Our job isn't to run from the dangerous. It's to tame the dangerous for God."

JDK: "Faith is a willingness to ask and respond."

JDK: "Christians should make the best art, not this crap we normally see. Oh, Lord, I'm getting quoted. I stand by the quote, but still."

JDK: "Your gifts can take you far beyond what your character can hold."

JDK: "You could probably get any spiritual gift you wanted if you contended for it."

JDK: "If what you're saying doesn't edify the church, you better shut your mouth."

JDK: "In our society, it's actually worse to be socially awkward than a thief. There's something really twisted about that."

JDK: "Mates, dates and babies are good topics to prophesy about."
Class (jokingly): "True!"
JDK: "The answer is obviously false."
Esther: "Unless you want to get punched."
Dylan: "Fruit punch."
Esther: "I'm not a violent person, but there is a line."

JDK: "All things should be tested, including you and I'm doing it now. I should put that at the top of every [quiz]: 'Test all things.'"
Samuel: "Oooh! I get it now."

JDK: "If you've got a problem with this, get saved!"

JDK: "I want you to pick your favorite Bible character."
Samuel: "Jesus, duh."
JDK: "Besides the Son of God..."
Rose: "Holy Spirit!"
Erica: "God!"
JDK: "Besides a deity..."
Dylan: "Balaam!"


Honor and Authority with Pastor Aaron Lage (PAL)

PAL: "Anyone want to volunteer to take attendance."
Erica: "I knew you were going to say that."
Hunter F.: "Prophetic."
Erica: "I'm going to put that in my prophetic journal."

PAL: "Honor is easy when you feel it, but honor is not a feeling."

PAL: "Honor is more about the person doing the honor than the person receiving the honor."

PAL: "You are worthy of honor because of who you are in Christ."

PAL: "To honor people, you have to see people for who they're becoming."

PAL: "A culture of honor isn't built on what you need; it's build on what you give."

PAL: "He was telling [girls walking by] that they were going to hell for wearing pants. Not shorts! Pants!"
Samuel: "I'd just take my pants off right then and there!"
(not sure): "Cash me ousside."
PAL: "Did you just say cash me outside? I don't think I can recover from this... So, honor..."
Caila: "Because that's NOT honorable."

PAL: "It's like you're arguing with a gorilla. GRRRRRRRRRRR! (while fake pounding on his chest.)"

PAL: "What did you think of the chapter?"
Samuel: "It was cool to hear their story."
PAL: "I can always count on you for a deep answer."

PAL: "Danny Silk is a stud."

PAL: "Honor is not a formula."

PAL: "You don't hear people say, 'I'm a manipulative, controlling person.'"
Esther: "Well, some people do and they are proud of it, but they generally aren't Christians."
PAL: "Or they're in politics."

PAL: "You have to make sure love rises higher than the tension."

PAL: "Praying for the right thing is always the right thing."

PAL: "Do we know that Gabriel has wings? We know cherubim and seraphim had certain kinds of wings."
Esther: "So, he flew like Superman."
PAL: "We're creating our own modern Greek mythology."

PAL: "God is not subject to your Nintendo!"

Caila: "I got grounded one day, just one."
PAL: "She's crying just thinking about it!"

Samuel: "I fell asleep a couple times in church and I didn't care. Like, I got spanked a couple times in service."
Ryan: "In service?"
Samuel: "Yeah, they'd take me out and spank me."
Ryan: "Holy Spirit and fire!"

PAL: "We've got God up in heaven like, 'hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.' It's the trinity!"

PAL: "Evil is you being less than the son or daughter you are called to be."

PAL: "You are not empowered to follow Christ through guilt. You are empowered to follow Christ through love."

PAL: "A culture of honor deems everybody worthy."

PAL: "You're going to receive mos of your blessings from other people."

PAL on food: "Technically, anything that fills me up, I'm going to think it's beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

PAL: "Humor, for me, is a tool. Sometimes to annoy people."

PAL: "Anything that causes you to act out of fear is a poverty mindset."

PAL: "You becoming powerful brings heaven to earth. You realizing you are powerful brings heaven to earth."

PAL: "If you can't accept a gift or be a receiver, you probably haven't switched over to a kingdom mentality."

PAL: "It's that 'living for a weekend' mentality, but not a World Revival Church weekend, because those are powerful."

PAL: "You, many times, are the answer to your own prayer."

PAL: "As we're going to go on to... (looks at clock and hisses) I HATE TIME!"

PAL: "You make fun of flannel-graph Jesus but there are people saved today because of it."
Samuel: "What's a flannel-graph?"
PAL: "You should know what a flannel-graph is."
Caila: "I don't know what it is either but I kept my mouth shut."

PAL: "Apparently [making a whip] was a skill Jesus had already acquired."
Esther: "He couldn't just Google it."

PAL: "One of the best ways to honor someone is to allow them to be free."

PAL: "A lot of the time, you don't know the difference between getting pruned and cut off, so you respond like you're cut off."

PAL: "God's given you authority and you're still running back and forth along a one foot tall fence."

PAL: "Loving yourself is loving Christ in you."

PAL: "Your identity is in the body, the group, and that prevents isolation."

PAL: "You can't simultaneously walk in unforgiveness and walk in the royalty God has given you."

PAL: "Don't let dead religion suffocate your desire for greatness."

PAL: "If you can go through the gauntlet with God, what can't you do in real life?"

PAL: "If an angel shows up, I wanna tackle it! Preset! Like Pastor Steve teaches! Preset! If an angels shows up, tackle it."

Dylan: "Greatness does not involve algebra."
PAL: "Solve for x. X always equals greatness."

Hunter F.: "Deep fried in pride."
PAL: "Somebody's from the south. We can deep fry everything."

PAL: "We don't honor people because they are honorable. We honor people because we are honorable."

PAL: "I'm part of a secret society called the truth tellers."
Esther: "If you're part of a secret society, why are you telling us?"
PAL: "Because I'm a truth teller."

PAL: "He's the King of Kings, not the King of paupers."

PAL: "That was the second greatest sneeze I've ever heard!"

PAL: "Maybe [Moses] did some Judo moves... or Egyptian moves... or maybe he did hieroglyphics in the air."

PAL: "Your sense of injustice has to reach a higher level than your concern with what other people think of you."

PAL: "You can still fulfill your calling in camel hair with locust breath."

Erica: "[David] is the millennial version of a king."

Samuel: "Jesus roadies."

PAL: "Stop waiting for permission. Or if anything, I've given you permission, so now you have it."

Samuel: "Did we just trade Lee for doughnuts?"

Ryan: "I'm French."
Dylan: "That explains why you're such a coward."
Class: "Oooh!"
Ryan: "I'll take it."
PAL: "He's got a white flag of surrender in his pocket."
Ryan: "Always prepared."


Arts Through Church History II with Pastor Eric Thomason (PET)

Josiah: "We are calling it ATCH now."
Stephanie: "ATCH-TWOOO."
Josiah: "That's perfect."

PET: "What does monophonic mean?"
JoAnn: "One... phonic."

Sarah: "How do you spell that?
PET: "Francis?
Sarah: "No, Assisi. Nevermind." (writes 'A.C.C.' on board.)

Josiah: "As bad as these guys were, we have to remember there was good, too. Otherwise we'd still be Catholic."

PET: "If you didn't conform to the Church of England, where did you go?"
Sarah: "To JAIL!"

PET: "Maybe she's in the bathroom. I shouldn't have said that."
Hunter F.: "I can edit that out."
PET: "You can? Well, let's talk all about it!"

PET: "Just because they are shallow doesn't mean I have to give them a shallow song."

PET: "Where did Martin Luther get is church background?"
Emily: "Lutherans."

PET: "All of you in this room should be able to say 'prophetically speaks' before your name. Everyone in here can hear the heart of God and speak it."

PET: "That's how you really minister to people is when you've had pain of your own."

Josiah: "Everybody needs to buy a yo-yo."
PET: "I don't need to. They're already sitting in front of me."

PET: "Class is leaning to the right today."
Sarah: "Don't call us heavy!"

JoAnn: "Praise is like 'hallelujah!" and worships is like 'ahhh.'"

PET: "We don't want to scare people. That's God's job."

PET: "Some of it's pretty groovy. That's a 70's word."

PET: "Don't lose the rawness of worship."

Emily: "Can I agree but kinda disagree with you?"
PET: "There is no disagree."

PET: "God is not after pretty. He already knows what pretty sounds like. He's perfect. He's looking for rawness of spirit."

Josiah: "There was one service, we didn't sound so good for the first couple songs."
PET: "I know. I was there."

(JoAnn's hand keeps going higher.)
Emily: "Are you stretching?"
JoAnn: "Some of us don't like to project our opinions everywhere!"

PET: "I love that line that says, 'no one dared ask Him anymore questions' and I'm like, you are an awesome Savior."

PET: "You guys don't know how easy you have it." (about 100 times.)
Emily: "Lemme guess, we don't know how easy we have it."
PET: "Didn't I just say that? You should write that down."

PET: "Don't ever ever ever let a religious person talk you out of what you feel you're supposed to do for God."

PET: "Finding God in worship has zero to do with music."

PET: "There's probably one you want to do, but someone else is going to pick it."
Josiah: "So, you want us to be disappointed?"
PET: "Yeah!"

PET: "The weightiness of God is what changes your life."

PET: "Many times, the maintainers of the move of God are more important than the starters."

PET: "Pentecostals are all in and wacky as heck."

PET: "He woulda hater all of you. He hated Brownsville. He hated Toronto."
Emily: "Well, that's unfortunate because I'm pretty nice."

Hunter F.: "That's gonna be my fruity hand."

JoAnn: "Every time we say that, I picture a little lamb sitting on a biiiig chair."

PET: "John Wilkes Booth wrote that. Wait! No! William Booth. Wrong Booth."

PET: "If I took the little guitar off little tight pants, he wouldn't know what to do."

Sarah: "No one wants to touch your sweaty elbows!"

PET: "When you know it's God, you can't listen to the critics."

PET: "Josiah, can you pray for us since you just put a Pop Tart in your mouth?"
Josiah: "Yep. First of all, thank you Jesus for Pop Tarts. I love 'em."

Spring Quarter 2016 at World Revival School of Ministry

Remember the days where I used to write out some wise and wild quotes at the end of a quarter of classes? The answer is probably barely, since it has been, what, a year or so since I did it. Alas, the wait is over! Summer quarter just started this week (I'm watching online since I'm in Canada at the moment!), so it seemed like as good of a time as any to bring back the Quarter Quotes. I mean, it's a lot less bloody than a Quarter Quell, right? Heehee!

I'm not separating the deep from the doozies or the silly from the spiritual, so enjoy the wild mix, completely out of context.

Covenant:

Pastor Aaron (PAL): "The thing we use our phone for the least is calling people. That's pretty funny itself."

Esther: "Yet we still call it a phone."

PAL: "It's a modern communication device."

Erica: "Woooaahhhh!"

PAL: "That's the thing in this class I'd least expect a woah from."

PAL: "Kingdom and covenant are the DNA of the Bible."

PAL: "You swore to God! Smite them!"

PAL (on Gen. 15:9-13 and heifers): "He cut them in half, but how do I know which half?! Like front and back half or inside outside half? How do I know how old it is? Are there rings in the hoof or something?"

PAL: "The vultures are the distractions."

PAL: "Is it fair to pit Moses versus Jesus? Moses, you can part the Red Sea, but Jesus is going to walk all over it."

PAL: "You don't do good works to be saved. You do good works because you are saved. That's what saved people do."

PAL: "In American culture, you fall in love then make a covenant. In Jewish culture, you make a covenant, then fall in love."

PAL: "If you feel a nudge from the Holy Spirit to do something, don't you think God will back up your faith? We disqualify ourselves, and God is just wanting us to walk in faith."

PAL: "If we didn't have the Old Covenant, how would we know how to trust Him or even who 'Him' is?"

PAL: "God always works around exclusivity."

PAL: "You don't have to throw mud on the Old covenant to make the new one look better. It's shiny enough on its own."

PAL: "You're not sitting there waiting for a Jesus 2.0 or 4s."

PAL: "Signs and wonders aren't always an affirmation of what's being taught. It's an affirmation of the person's faith."

PAL: "I think about that with Enoch sometimes. If I had 300 years on earth, maybe I'd be holy enough to walk off earth too!"

PAL: "Most of the time, we think of sin as this nebulous boogie monster, like 'ohh it's going to get me!'"

PAL: "There was no suffering... unless Adam stubbed his toe. I bet Adam stubbed his toes."

PAL: "I think it'd be fun to sit in on some dispensationalism classes."
Erica: "I'd laugh the whole time."

PAL: "You laugh through my classes all the time."

PAL: "College is the biggest ponzi scheme, but it's only for this dispensation!"

PAL: "It's an oxymoron! Kinda like country music. I just offended someone."

PAL: "Did you ever read Amelia Bedelia books?"

Class: "Yes!"

Zeke: "I only read Jane Austen books."

PAL: "Why is everyone so laid back today?"

Zeke: "We need better questions."

PAL: "The only remaining covenant we have is marriage, and that's broken. The point of covenant is to make you family."

PAL: "There is no wall on on the U.S./ Guatemala border."
Caila: "Is that where we get the word guacamole?"

Zeke: "I'll look it up!"

Janet: "You wanted class discussion..."

Isaac: "So, the point is, to make guacamole, you have to covenant the avocados."

PAL: "If love is boundary-less, it's not love."

PAL: " So we would say, if you really love the girl, you'd save the money..."

Lydia: "And buy her a ring!"

PAL: "Without the ring, is it still love?"

(Lydia shakes head no.)

Caila: "Well, how many people could've killed [Abel] anyway?"

Esther: "The suspect pool was small."

PAL: "There is power in the blood, whether you want to sing about it or not."

PAL: "Well, I guess I've seen a squirrel die because I ran over it."

PAL: "We celebrate it now and call it Good Friday, but it wasn't so good for Jesus."

Caila: "There's way too many human hands touching this word of God."

PAL: "Maybe [Lactanius] was the first one to reject dairy. He rejected the old covenant and now goat's milk isn't good enough."

PAL on the promise to Noah: "Can you imagine how many rainbows there are around the world every day?"

Caila: "Going back to that whole flood situation..."

PAL: "That's exactly how God said it to Noah! 'Noah, we've got a flood situation. Imma need you to build an ark.'"

PAL: "God has always predestined for there to be a people. The question is: are you going to choose to be a part of that group?"

Caila: "I wonder how they got the lions in the den."

PAL: "Tranquilizers." 

(Class laughs)

Isaac: "Really, you only had to get two in there."

(Caila looks confused.)

PAL: "The married person should get that."

PAL: "There is no verse in the New Testament about tithing because no one thought they were getting rid of the Old Covenant!"

PAL unmutes mic: "The demon of muteness is gone!"

PAL: "Anything that creates disunity is not of the Spirit of God."

PAL: "Whatever theological ninja skills you want to use on this to hack it up."

PAL: "These walls I could probably walk through on its own."

Janet: "Let's see it."

PAL: "If you're willing to pay for it, I'll try it. Well, maybe let's wait until after conference."

PAL on the death of Jill: "It's a loss and we're at a loss for words, so He gave us His." (holds up Bible)

PAL: "Is the stoplight meant to be binding or is it meant to be saving?"

PAL: "Enoch walked that close to God and he didn't have [the Word]. We have a cheat sheet and still can't do it!"

PAL: "Cain just killed his brother and right away, God is there talking to him."

PAL: "I hope to God I never resort to using emojis."

Kaitlynn: "What's wrong with emojis?!"

PAL: "I'm not very emotional."

PAL: "There are stories in the Bible and you're like, how did this make the cut? It's disturbing."

PAL: "Happiness is fleeting. What you should pursue is joy."

PAL: "Faith is a gift from God, but you have to open it."

PAL: "Never apologize for laughing. I should probably figure out my true laugh. Forget finding your true path, find your true laugh!"

Caila: "Baloney times 100!"

PAL: "That's a big sandwich."

PAL: "Who decided how to spell bologna. Like, I know it's supposed to be French..."

Esther: "Then why doesn't it taste better?"

PAL: "That's a good joke! I've never heard a mind-blowing fact about bologna."

PAL: "Anyone in this room who is struggling with value and self worth needs to look at [the Bible] a little more. He created you very good."

PAL: "You know how when you tell someone 'you did a good job in chapel today' and they're like, 'all glory to God!' You know, that religious answer, but it's like, 'it wasn't that good!'"

PAL: "If you understand who you are inn Him, you understand your value in Him."

PAL: "You have authority in heaven RIGHT NOW."

PAL talks about how we tend to talk to God: "How many of you would last more than a week as a friend of someone like that?"

Lydia: "Only if they're rich."

PAL: "God has a sense of humor. I mean, look at yourself!"

PAL: "The goal is not the system. The goal is who the system points to."

PAL: "God's probably like, 'Can we laugh about that now and move past it? Yeah, you were an idiot.'"

PAL: "God made us in His image to make Him proud."

PAL: "That would be a really cool resurrection if you were a Christian. Can you imagine bursting out of a tree?!"

PAL: "I used to have a talking parrot but it never said 'I'm hungry' so it died."

PAL: "God knows that some of you are going to have kids and really screw them up."

Kaitlynn: "Oh, I hope that's not me!"

PAL: "There will be seasons in your life where God will not do something for you. He'll give you the authority to do it yourself."

PAL: "One of the moments God wants to come close to you is right after you screw up."

PAL: "Today's been a good day. I haven't had a single sinful thought."

Lydia: "There's pride!"

PAL: "The enemy is the one trying to get you to look at your sin."

PAL: "When you can't say no to something, it has control over you but you tell yourself you're choosing it."

Lydia: "I wouldn't be a very good Muslim."

Esther: "You'd be a pretty good dead Muslim."

Esther: "If we are such worms, then gender shouldn't be an issue because worms are both genders."

PAL: "He made you to enter into these seasons and make the most of them... to be productive."

PAL: "Don't let the devil steal your words. There is power in your words."

Janet on puzzles: "That's self imposed torture."

PAL: "I wouldn't imagine pranking God because He probably already knows what's under the wrapping paper. But at the same time, God has a sense of humor."

Isaac: "I don't know why people are laughing at me."

PAL: "That's what your name means, bro."

(Rose laughs)

Isaac: "Did you just acknowledge a joke?"

Rose: "I acknowledge good jokes, they just don't happen very often."

PAL: "Wilderness experiences, desert experiences, battle experiences... those things you go through should deepen your faith."

PAL: "If I said my wife is hot, hopefully you all know I don't mean I'm burning her at the stake right now."

PAL: "We make the ways of God a law, but God doesn't want to do the same thing every time because then we don't have to trust Him."

PAL: "Paul's up in heaven like, 'What are you doing?! Can't you see I wrote that in sarcasm font?!'"

PAL: "Can you imagine how much the environmentalists hated Noah?"

Lydia: "It's ok. They died anyway."

Caila: "When he first started, was he fluffy?"

PAL: "Was he fluffy?! Like Winnie-the-Pooh?"

PAL: "When you look both ways before going into the street, it is literally life to you! Or at least kneecaps."

Church Marketing:

Jacob: "If you like handbags, a Coach handbag is different from a Michael Kors handbag... That's all I got."

Jacob: "Is legion involved in campus security? All 'waaahhh' at the front gate?"

Jacob: "I think perishing is something you kinda want to avoid. It kinda feels like dying. I feel like I'm perishing every four hours when I'm hungry."

Lydia: "Five years in the future? Kids are not in the picture."

Jacob: "They are for us."

Erica: "I'd hope so!"

Lydia: "It's not like they're going to go anywhere."

Jacob: "Ohh they can go somewhere..."

Jacob on bats: "It was like a mammal missile straight from hell!"

Jacob: "You're not so much afraid of God. You're afraid of what happens if God leaves."

Jacob: "We're kinda like the Red Bull of church."

Jacob: "This is between this class... and everyone streaming."

Jacob: "Who is your perfect student?"

(Isaac raises hand.)

I hope you enjoyed the randomness that comes out in class. 

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