Challenge Accepted! Tell Me I Can't And I'll Show You I Can

Supervisor: "You know you're crazy, right?"
Me: "Yup."
Supervisor: "Like, insane. You know that right?"
Me: "Sure."

I'd like to say it was a one time conversation, but, alas, it's not an unusual thing to hear. It generally follows questions about when I sleep or what my schedule is like. The answers are rarely and jam packed. Working a full and part time job, going to ministry school full time, being invested in various side gigs, and staying connected in a revived church mean I don't have much time to myself. Somehow, that's viewed as unusual.

But, it really shouldn't surprise anyone. There is the stereotype that millennials are spoiled and have no work ethic, but the numbers don't fully support that theory. Yes, there are plenty of entitled brats out there, but this generation is also hustling more. There are several studies out there showing that millennials are expecting to work more hours, are willing to spend more time on the clock, and are actually putting that to practice both while they are in school and once they reach management positions. I've talked to so many people my age who aren't interested in pursuing relationships because they are focused on their career. Being successful seems to be one of the most important things to my generation.

Maybe I'm just not in the right circles, but I don't hear people questioning the lack of sleep and busy schedules of people working multiple jobs or college students working to keep food on the table while trying to stay ahead of tuition. It definitely didn't happen when I was earning my first two Bachelor's degrees or when I worked two jobs just to pay the bills.

The judgement started when I went back to school for ministry.

The resistance really is not about the schedule. It's a lack of value on the Kingdom's movement. Encouragement doesn't flow into something that isn't understood as worthwhile.

It's kind of amusing how different groups of people respond. My friends who live a revival life are generally supportive, telling me to stay focused and get rest whenever I can People who aren't a part of a church call me crazy and tell me to give something up. My neighbor went so far as to call the apartment office because she thought I was dead after not seeing me for a week. If I'm honest, I was avoiding her. She's a nice lady, but a bit nosy and bossy. She likes to lecture about doing too much and how I should leave WRC, and I just don't have time for that kind of negativity.

During one of the lectures, I started to walk away when she said something about Jesus would want me to rest. I turned around, looked her straight in the eye and said, "'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. [Philippians 4:13]' God wouldn't have opened these doors for me if He wasn't going to provide the ability to do it." Shocked, she said I might have a point and went back to her place.

I truly believe in that statement. Over the past year, I've been thinking about what lies ahead in my future and what I want to do with my life. I haven't been able to narrow it down to anything specific, other than making an impact. A few months back, God opened the door to starting small with coaching some 6th graders in volleyball. The door got a little bit bigger when I was asked to be a part of the Kids Ablaze team. Now, we are getting a glimpse of how widespread that could reach, and it is humbling and overwhelming to think about. God is beyond good and always faithful to fulfill His promises.

The Kingdom just takes a little work on our part.

Even when it seems like we are off the rails and beyond the reach of His plans, He can still work through us. Lisa Bevere posted on Facebook saying, "If  you think you've blown God's plan for your life, rest in this. You, my beautiful friend, are not that powerful." Did you hear that mic drop? Another quote from Bevere that's been on my mind a lot lately is "What if the reason you don't know what you're called to do is that you are called to do something no one has ever done before?"

My life is an example of both of those statements right now. Despite all the ways I've screwed up, I'm still where God wants me to be. He's going to use my story to show His character [2 Corinthians 12:9-10]. My journey through ministry school has been far from the usual, but the realization that graduating on time is still a possibility just blows me away. Seeing how a couple other things are lining up for a year from now gives me chills every time I get to think or talk about it. I can see the timeline, but God isn't showing me all the details just yet. A few people asked me what my next step is, and all I can say is this: I don't know what it will be, but I know it's amazing beyond anything I could dream up on my own. I'm not going to worry now because that is next year's problem. Really, it's not even a problem. I know God is writing my story in His perfect timing. I have nothing to worry about. I just have to work through the tasks He is giving me now and be ready to say yes when He asks. That door will swing open on its own at the right moment, and I couldn't be more excited.

This next year is going to be an intense challenge and I'm going to be quite tired from time to time. If you catch me in one of those moments, please, do not tell me to take a break or give up. Don't let differences in our roles and training turn into judgments or division because we are all part of the same, set apart body. Instead, remind me that what is waiting at the finish line will be worth it [Jeremiah 29:11]. Remind me of where my strength comes from [Isaiah 40:29-31]. Remind me of these lyrics: "Unstoppable God/ Let Your glory go on and on/ Impossible things/ In Your name they shall be done."

Some may see my plans for the next year as impossible. I see it as training and an equipping for the next step. Since high school, I've had the mentality of "tell me I can't and I'll show you I can." (I even wrote something along those lines on a ceiling tile in a K-State building.) This is not a philosophy I plan to give up any time soon, especially since my victories now reflect God's strength, goodness, faithfulness, and purpose on this earth. Through Him alone, I'm ready and excited to conquer whatever challenges are ahead.

Climbing Out Of The Comfort Zone: Is Fear Keeping You Stagnant Or Helping You Grow?

Picture a waking up on a cold winter morning. You are all cozy and warm under the covers; snuggled up between soft pillows. It's still pretty dark in the room, but there is a little sunlight filtering in. Maybe it's just me, but getting up and out of bed on cold mornings takes every bit of energy and strength I can muster. Why would I want to leave my bed to venture out into the dark, cold world?

Because you can't live in your comfort zone. Nothing happens there.

That's what I keep reminding myself right now.

I'm just a couple days away from my big writing retreat adventure, and honestly, I'm freaking out a little bit. Ok, by little bit, I mean I'm considering cutting my own hair to have bangs again. Obviously, I'm not in the greatest frame of mind.

I don't really understand why I'm freaking out and worrying. I know I'm supposed to go on this trip. I know I'm supposed to write this book, whether it gets published or not. God worked way too much out for me for this to be something outside of His will.

When God wants you to do something, He makes a way, and that is exactly what's been going on with this trip. For example, my car broke down last week and mixed in with that first batch of thoughts was, "I should cancel the trip." I immediately shut that down and stood on Philippians 4:19, "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Sure enough, my car ended up running again and I didn't pay a dime for it. Granted, the mechanic told me to get a new car as soon as I return, but that's a whole different adventure I don't have to face today.

So, why am I stressing about something God has His hand on?

Because it's out of my comfort zone.

I can't rely on my own experience because I've never left the country. I can't rely on anyone else because I'm going alone and don't know anyone where I'm heading. All I can do it trust that God is positioning and protecting me.

I won't say everyone, but just like no sane human being wants to get out of a warm bed on a cold, dark morning, no sane human really wants to jump out into something unknown. All you can do in the dark, cozy comfort zone is sleep and rest. You are useless. You have to get out of bed to get anything done and be useful. Accomplishing His will requires a little work on your part. There is a quote from Lisa Bevere in "Girls With Swords" that says, "If you are not praying the type of prayers that scare you, your prayers are certainly not frightening our enemy.” There is also a similar quote of "if your dreams don't scare you, dream bigger." So maybe, it's not a terrible thing to be a little scared.

But it's a good kind of scared. It's the "this is going to change my life" kind of scared. If I was 100% comfortable with this, it wouldn't change me nearly as much. Heather Eschenbaum teaches that ALL THE TIME. I have to be uncomfortable and vulnerable so God can show His strength in every part of this process.

During my meltdown before the car was fixed, I was sharing my concerns with a co-worker who encouraged this trip. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "It's not in your comfort zone now, but when you come back, it will be." Boom. This is positioning. I thought of Mary Seidler in that moment. She didn't just travel by herself to another country. She up and moved to across the world and is now making an impact in Poland. If she would have stayed in her comfort zone in Kansas City, people in Poland would be missing out. She had to take the first step to see those dreams realized. Bevere wrote, "It is impossible to win the race unless you venture to run. Impossible to win the victory unless you dare to battle."

Of course, I went to a pre-screening of a movie last night with a tagline of "Live Boldly." Ok, ok, ok. I get it.

It is time to rip off the comfortable covers and jump into the cold, dark unknown. That is where something big can happen. Fear can either force you to stay stagnant or grow. The choice is up to you.


Sidenote: In case you haven't seen it, Redhead in Revival is now on Facebook and Twitter. Give the pages a follow and stay up to date.

A Message To The Ladies: It's Time To Arise

A couple people asked me to write down what Pastor Kathy had me share with the women last night for those who missed it. Considering how much my computer is acting up as I try to write this, someone else definitely needs it.

This all started with my inability to sleep, which is all too common anymore. I decided I'd read for a bit and just skip women's group to rest. I reached out and grabbed "Lioness Arising" by Lisa Bevere, but didn't make it very far. On the first page of the second chapter, there is a quote:

"If ever there would come a time when the women of the world come together purely and simply for the benefit of mankind, it will be a force such as the world has never known." - Matthew Arnold, 19th century British poet & philosopher

I read that and immediately thought of how things are changing at WRC. After reading the chapter, I took a picture, sent it to Pastor Kathy, and thought I was going to sleep. Wrong. PK asked me to read it to the ladies and suddenly I was wide awake feeling just how important this is right now.

We are coming out of the Arise Women's Conference, which was pretty incredible and I wasn't even around for all of it! I remember sitting in the control room hearing our media master, David Belich, say, "There is something different about this conference. I'm not even involved in it. I'm just around and it feels different." I shared that comment with Heather Eschenbaum and she hit the nail on the head: the unity made it more powerful.

But this isn't just the women of World Revival Church getting on the same page. There were more than 500 women at this conference. Ladies came from around the country and around the world and joined together with the same goal of chasing after God together. That unity isn't staying in Kansas City. The women who came took it home with them, along with a fresh fire. Becky Tuttle mentioned something later in the meeting that had passed through my mind during the day. There is strength in numbers. There is protection in linking shields with others. (If you've ever seen the show "Vikings" on the History channel, you know what I'm talking about there.) Our shields are wrapping around the world.

While I was speaking to the group, I shared a bit of what's been going on with me lately. I really had no intention of it and I didn't explain the bunny trail that led me to it. While I was standing beside PK and in front of the women, another line from the chapter came to mind. Bevere writes,

"Here is some of what I know about Heaven's daughter. She is lovely, intelligent, and capable. Her life is connected rather than isolated. She is loved by God and hated by Satan. She is oppressed worldwide by both subtle and obvious means."

As I looked out at the faces in front of me, "Her life is connected rather than isolated" jumped into my mind.

That is exactly where I've been living for the past 4-5 months.

I made a mistake and people close to me weren't shy about expressing their unhappiness with me. The invitations to hang out dropped off. I felt unloved and unwanted, so I protected myself by building an island. I stopped trying to be around people. I even told a couple people, yeah, it can be lonely, but there is no drama and I can do whatever I want, so I like it. My isolation kept getting more pronounced. If I wasn't on camera, chances are I wasn't in service either. I fell right into where the enemy wanted.

The breaking point came the Tuesday before the Arise Conference. My best friend, (yes, that one that I wrote about cutting off not long ago.... I'm a sucker for those I care about) called me and said they didn't want me to contact them for the foreseeable future. I was crushed. After crying it out for a couple hours, I grabbed my Bible and read for a while. A peace washed over me that this would be a good thing for us both. No matter how much you love someone, there is a point where you can't help them anymore and you're only hurting yourself by trying. Taking some time apart would give us both time to grow and step into who God is calling us to be. I laid there in bed that Tuesday and said, "Ok, God.... That was my last connection. I'm completely on my own now, but I just read about being together with the body. If it's time for me to come out of this isolation period, make it obvious."

Ask and you shall receive.

The next day, I felt like I should stay for the women's group, which I hadn't done before. I ended up in a group with two women I kinda knew, but never really talked to as the whole group became "salt sisters," I really connected with Leilani and immediately after we were dismissed, she asked me to lunch in a few days. I didn't tell her (until now) that she was the first answer to my prayer. One by one, all these girl dates started popping into my schedule.

I know I'm not the only one who is struggling and finding it's easier to live in isolation. If you are reading this and it's you, the time of being alone is over. It's time to step back into the body and get ready for what is about to happen. Be intentional. Let go of the resentment, bitterness, anger and hurt and jump back into the joy. Yes, it is hard, but I'm working on it right there with you. I went to hug Jacque during the conference and she immediately told me, "There is no waiting period between messing up and coming back. You pick right back up where you left off." It hit me so hard that I wrote it in my journal the second I got back to my seat. That word isn't just for me. Someone else out there needs to jump back in the race and start running again. We can feel the revival bubble is about to burst over us in a whole new way. You have to be there to be a part of it. Women are going to play a big role in this next wave and we need strength in numbers. Lionesses live and hunt in packs, so it is time for us to start doing the same.

If you aren't isolating yourself, look around. Notice who is missing and encourage them to come and be a part of what's coming. Notice who is fading away and reach out to them. Simply asking someone how they are doing or inviting them to do something will help. This doesn't need to be within our own friend groups. Unity isn't a bunch of cliques that aren't fighting. We all need each other. That's why Pastor Kathy is having us get into tiny groups and connect. We need people in our lives that don't fit nicely into our comfort zones. We need everyone's strengths and perspective in order to see the whole picture and be successful.

Bevere writes that she thought her dream meant she was the lioness, but later realized it is all the women of God. We have to step up together.  Like Arnold said, we need to come together simply for the good of mankind. What better good is there for mankind than the hope and life we receive through Jesus?! We carry a power inside us that we can't fully understand, but it is a force the world has never known. Women have been labeled as catty and fought each other for pretty much forever. It's time to shut down that stigma and show what the power of God can really do around the world.

Now is the time to get ready. Bevere writes, "Even the lioness knows she must stretch before she attempts to pounce." That got me thinking about how we will have to step out of our comfort zones as this next move happens. I prayed for God to start stretching me to get me ready, and not three hours later I had a microphone in my hand. (Which is totally not where I see myself, so that was quite strange.) Be praying for the open doors and that we are all ready to walk through them and face what's on the other side.

Last year, Pastor Steve said, "The lion has roared" and the weight of it really struck a lot of people. Well, now it's time for the lioness to get up and join him to hunt down the enemy.