Beginning My 30 Before 30 Challenge

Today is my half birthday.
That means I have 18 months left in my 20's, which is pretty crazy to think about. Aging is weird. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

In order to make sure I don't waste what's left of the decade, I decided to join a not-so-spiritual trend I've seen all over the internet: the 30 before 30 challenge. If you're unfamiliar with it, the goal is to pick 30 things you want to do before your 30th birthday, do them, and document the ensuing madness.

Creating this list was a lot harder than I thought it would be. I wanted it to be more activity and adventure focused, but considering time/money constraints and how much of my bucket list is already complete, it was pretty hard to come up with things. I asked friends for ideas, read dozens of other lists, and tried to think of things I haven't done so far in this life.

So, here goes nothin'.

1. Publish a book. I've started writing a couple, but never got around to finishing one, much less try to get it in print.
2. Get into Hall H. I regret not even trying to get into the throne room of nerd mecca last year. I have my pass lined up for San Diego Comic Con 2018, so this is the time to spend a night camping outside with strangers.
3. Go skydiving. Because, why not?
4. Create something and sell it. Someone offered me $75 for a calligraphy piece I did in high school, but my mom said no. It's haunted me ever since. Yes, I'm still annoyed.
5. Pay off student loans. Because I'm so over those monthly payments, obviously.
6. Cook through an entire cookbook. This could be quite the adventure from multiple angles. Who wants to volunteer to eat it with me?
7. Watch 50 of AFI's 100 best movies. I can't tell you how many times I've answered no to a question that starts with "Have you seen...?". Alex is pretty pumped about this one.
8. Learn a ballroom dance. Maybe I'll become more graceful. Maybe I'll just smash a few feet and fall down. I guess we'll just have to see.
9. Go to a national park. Somehow, I've managed to have not visited one so far. I mean, I saw the Grand Canyon from a plane, but I don't think that really counts.
10. Go to a book expo. Just another way to prove my nerdiness.
11. Read more classics. I loved them as a kid, but now I can't remember what I read or what they were about.
12. Go on a random road trip. With people or alone doesn't matter. Just hit the road and see what adventure awaits.
13. Get another piercing or tattoo. Things I've thought about doing for years, but just never got around to doing.
14. Learn basics of an instrument. Let's just say being the only one in worship classes who doesn't do anything musical was pretty annoying. Maybe I can be a little less tone deaf after this one.
15. Take a MasterClass. Those ads get me every time... especially the one with Shonda Rhimes.
16. Go ice skating. Another silly little thing I've never done.
17. NYC Comic Con. It's the only major US con I haven't been to.
18. Get my concealed carry permit. This is also on the 'things I've said I was gonna do for years but still haven't done it yet' list.
19. Go ax throwing. I mean, how much fun does that sound?! With a new place in KC, there's really no excuse to not go full Lumber Jane.
20. Take a kickboxing class. Again, sounds like fun and I've said I was going to do it for the longest time.
21. Visit at least one more continent. The ultimate goal is six continents (I have ZERO desire to freeze to death in Antarctica), but that might be a bit too much in a year and a half. Adding one more continent is at least a step toward the goal.
22. Go rock climbing. I'm not so sure I'll be any good at this one, but Maria insisted it needed to be on the list.
23. Learn to use the DSLR (and actually remember it for more than five minutes). I mean, I've gone over it a zillion times, but hasn't stuck yet, unfortunately.
24. Crochet something. Ditto previous statement. My poor grandmother has tried, but I just can't get past chaining. It's pathetic, especially considering how much I knit.
25. Scrapbook the European trip. I keep saving stuff to scrapbook, but need to sit down and do it. That trip was so wild, I need to get it down before I forget it all.
26. Take a Krav Maga class. As many rando creepers as I deal with, I should probably have more butt-kicking skills.
27. Go to an NFL game. I know, I know, I know. I'm disappointed in myself too. How this has slipped through my fingers is beyond me.
28. Finish an entire adult coloring book. I have a pretty good sized stack of them because they are so much fun. But, since they take so much time per page, I have a bunch of books with maybe two or three pages done. Gotta stop the cycle.
29. Explore my city. I've lived in KC for nearly five years and there is so much here that I haven't done, it's kinda pathetic. World War I Museum, here I come. If I happen to move in the next 18 months, this one transfers to wherever I live.
30. Do something that makes an impact. Now, I'm not talking 'be a part of something that makes an impact.' I get to do that all the time though World Revival Church. I'm talking start something that positively influences people. Figure out something crazy and go for it. This is honestly the most terrifying thing on this list. It's not about me. It's about the world at large and putting someone else first. I guess that is what that fancy Bachelor's in Ministry is all about.

I'll share updates on the adventures as they unfold. Wish me luck.

I am curious though. What adventures do you want to accomplish before your next age milestone?

Stuck in Funkytown and Hating It

Normally, I'm a lot more excited about January than I am right now.

I love dreaming up big ideas, setting goals and planning how to make them a reality. Call it the producer in me, but I live for that crap... just not this time around. I mean, it's about three weeks into the month and here I am, still struggling to come up with things.

Goals? Weak at best.

Vision board? Still not set.

30 before 30 list? Hahahaha! Right....

You'd think by now, after about five months of people asking "what's next?" I might have some kind of idea of what that might look like. The cold hard truth is, I don't.

And that is a pretty terrifying thought for a person like me.

I love spontaneity and all, but I really like having at least rough outlines in place or a general direction of motion.

Sitting here, feeling all adrift is the worst. I keep trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with me, but I haven't been able to pinpoint any specific thing as of yet. Maybe it's because I checked off so many bucket list items already. Perhaps the greyness of winter sucked out my motivation. There's that whole part where I've been questioning if I even hear God anymore after that one thing went sideways, so maybe that's the issue. There's also the possibility that I'm just a little chicken who is too scared to think big and outside of the box.

There's a 99.9% chance that the problem is all of the above.

What's interesting to me is how no one seems to have noticed that I haven't really been myself lately. Either I'm a great actress or they just assume I'll snap out of this funk soon enough. I'm hoping the latter is the more accurate guess.

If this seems whiny, I apologize. That is absolutely not my intent. This is just forcing myself to do something other than eat ice cream, read or knit. This is forcing my fingers to rattle of sentences that don't revolve around news of dead bodies or the hot mess blame game that is the government. This is an attempt to fire up that fierce spirit that chases dreams while screaming like a banshee instead of waiting for it to just fall into place for me. It's making myself take a step by acknowledging that I'm in a weird place. The first step toward recovery is admitting there's a problem, right? 

Seeing The Vision Become Reality In 2017

Remember a year ago when everyone was all, 'I hate 2016' and I was like the one person on earth who had a decent year? Here we go with round two. Hot take: 2017 wasn't that bad.

At least for me. 

Pastor Steve said it would be the year of opportunity. Time and time again, I saw opportunities to make dreams come true, and not just the little ones.

About two years ago, I set up a vision board in my room. I drew five things in the short term goals row. They represented getting back into WRSM, graduate, read 50 books in a year, travel to Europe, and write a book. The first four are now complete, and the fifth is in progress. That alone is wild enough to think about, but the way everything went down was more than I could ever imagine with other small goals getting check marks too.

I started a book club with my dear friend Rachelle, and it has grown from six women to about 50 members in our Facebook group. There's also a writing group now that I started with my nerdy friend, Rachel.

I got to work on two shows with WRC that broadcast internationally.

I met Felicia Day and Jim Beaver at Planet Comic Con, resulting in major geek outs.

I got baptized again.

I got to go San Diego Comic Con to interview several celebrities and sit second row for the Outlander panel.

I sat on the Iron Throne and Dragonstone.

I graduated with my second year certificate and Bachelor's degree.

I won my second Emmy.

I was selected for an international fellowship in Germany, where I met so many cool people.

I spent 35 days traveling Europe, knocking a big chunk off my bucket list (i.e. see the beaches of Normandy, filming locations for Game of Thrones, the Berlin Wall, eating donuts under Brandenburg Gate, the Olympic Stadiums in Berlin and London, the Tower of London, Churchill's War Rooms, Auschwitz, Bergen-Belsen, Castle Church, Trinity Library, the Mona Lisa, the Eiffel Tower, NATO, the EU.. the list goes on and on.)

I went to German Comic Con Berlin and was in a selfie taken by Finn Jones from Iron Fist and Game of Thrones. (Yes, I'm a huge nerd. Sue me.)

I saw bands including 30 Seconds to Mars, Skillet, Sick Puppies, Muse, PVRIS, X Ambassadors, Borns, Parachute, Switchfoot and probably others I forgot at this point.... plus ballets, plays, and sporting events.

I met amazing new friends and caused many a shenanigan with those already in my life.

I walked through fields of sunflowers, danced in the rain and played in the hail, both literally and figuratively.

It wasn't all easy. 

School was an absolute grind to finish, especially in the summer when two of my six classes alone packed in 32 papers. Not fun.

Also not fun, getting stranded in Hanover, Germany because the weather shut down trains. Really, trains and I had a rough relationship in Europe. Transportation in generally, really... especially when some dude tried to get me to go down a dark street in Paris with him at 3 a.m... Hard pass, bro.

2017 was nothing short of an adventure, and God stretched me quite a bit as the days went by. So many moments were tests in trust, from patience to protection to the big picture. I latched on to Jeremiah 29:11 in Europe, and I've been trying to hold onto that still. Just letting God do His thing is hard, especially when you feel like something is about to change in your life, but you don't know what. Trust isn't easy, but allegedly it will be worth it. I guess we will find out. 

Happy Three-and-a-Half Year Sober-versary To Me!

Here's a crazy thought: I've now spent almost as much time as a legally-able to drink adult off the crazy juice as I did draining bottles.

Wild.

Today marks three and a half years without a sip of alcohol. I stopped writing about it a while back, thinking it a bit silly to keep documenting this part of my journey. Apparently I was wrong. 

The first reason I say that is because of the new clarity that the battle never really ends. Over the last few months, my resolve has been tested time and time again. 

The first big challenge was my international fellowship. Back in the day, my bucket list included drinking beer in Germany, French wine in Paris, Guinness and Jameson in Ireland, etc. Once this amazing trip landed in my lap, I had to deal with the reality of how I was going to handle myself there. I mean, come on. I was in Germany, a country where beer is legitimately cheaper than water most places, and during Oktoberfest, no less! Talk about a challenge! 

Before I left, the organization sent out a preliminary itinerary and seeing a brewery tour on the list was a punch in the gut. I'm not sure why I was surprised, but I was. I met with one of the pastors to run scenarios and try to come up with the best direction. I could argue either side of the issue, as is the tendency of my ENTP personality. While he eventually gave me permission to do the sampling if I was concerned about making a scene in Germany, he asked me one question before letting me leave the office: "What are you going to say when everyone goes to the bar after the tasting?"

Well, snap, crackle and pop. I see what you did there. It would be rather hypocritical to try to pull it both ways. He wanted me to think about it for a couple days and tell him my decision, but I'm a stubborn brat sometimes (ok, a lot of the time), and never did specify. I thought I'd feel it out.

Celebrating Oktoberfest at Alexander Platz.

I was pretty surprised at how supportive the other fellows were when I said I didn't drink. They asked questions, but never pressured me to join them. They were completely fine with me drinking Coke at the bars while they drained steins. During the brewery tasting, I would swirl the amber liquid and smell it like everyone else, then pass my glass to my buddy, Ben, and he'd drink it. We both won.

However, not everyone was so chill. The program director repeatedly tried to pressure me into drinking. It was never a subtle thing, either. From his inability to hide his disgust that I wasn't sampling the beer and asked to not be in pictures with it (so no one got the wrong idea), to constantly insisting that I allow him to buy me a drink, to blathering on that a sip wouldn't hurt, it got pretty uncomfortable. Again, my amazing fellows supported me and tried to divert the attention.

I can't tell you how many times I thought about caving overseas. It's not like anyone would know unless I told them, but I still could not bring myself to follow through. Deep down, I knew that God took that piece away from me for a reason. He set me apart with a purpose, even if that is just explaining how powerful and good He is.

Which brings me to the second reason I'm writing about my sobriety today: not everyone knows my story. I mean, there were 13 other fellows on that trip, plus three people from the organization, and countless contacts throughout those three weeks. They didn't all ask why I was sipping water at the same time. It was a continual retelling of my story and what God did for me to save me from my own stupidity. 

The whole "I'm in ministry school and it's not allowed" answer worked well enough for some. Others could tell there is more to the story and that gave me an opening to share my heart. Even yesterday, one of my newer co-workers asked if I was an alcoholic, so it gave me the chance to say no, it's a way of being obedient to God.

Once people know your story, they help you stick with it. I can't tell you how many times of late I typed the words "I want a drink." Life's been tough. Fortunately for me, I have sober buddies who don't hesitate to call me out. One guy is always supportive on that front. I really have zero business talking to him anymore, period, but sober support is what started our wacky friendship (after this post). He knows more than anyone else what it's like to not drink in our line of work, since he's a little further down the road than me. 

It's just another reminder that the battle isn't over just because you hit a milestone. He's at six years and still celebrates the markers.

Another of my friends fell off the wagon. I could have easily been me, especially lately. Being done with ministry school took the safety net away. I don't have that excuse anymore. I don't have a rule holding me back. It's now all on me. 

The last couple weeks have really tested that thought. It's a weird shift from being half my decision/ half rule, to this is all on my discernment now, especially when you're emotionally drained and hurting. It would be so easy to numb the world with alcohol, but who would I be on the other side of that bottle? Most likely, a person who holds a lot less respect and has less of a voice worth listening to.

So, today, I'm marking a milestone because daggum, the road is rocky and every step forward is a victory. It's not a win because of my own strength, but the Holy Spirit holding that valve closed for me and reminding me of those faces when I'm on the edge. Jesus is the victory.

The Frustration of Heading Back Into The Wilderness

Ever feel like you are standing near the top of a mountain with your promised land in view, but you're so busy staring at it excitedly that you trip over a loose root, tumble back down only to land in the wilderness again? That is kinda how I feel right now.

Without going into details, I thought things had finally lined up for a major long-term goal in my life and I was elated. My mind raced through scenarios, hopes, dreams and plans.

Let's be real, I got carried away with what I wanted and how it fit into my timeline. I've never been a patient person. My see-it-want-it-go-get-it personality is great for my day job, but it doesn't translate well into real life. This was one of those many times where my personality backfired and cost me the thing I desired.

Honestly, the past few days have been insanely painful. I know the worst isn't over. There will absolutely be more tears in the days, weeks and months ahead. I hate crying, and admitting to doing it frequently is basically the worst.

But I know that I played a role in falling back down into the wilderness. How? I let myself get distracted and consumed by the almost instead of keeping up with what other things God has cooking.

There have been a few projects I've felt like I was supposed to start for a while. When the one dream started coming into view, that became my focus. Even though I felt like I should work on other things, I sacrificed them for what I thought was the big dream. I even missed church a few times to sleep because I was involved in the other project too late, and there haven't been many posts here despite having thoughts to share.

God can't bless that kind of behavior. He withdraws His hand of protection from rebellious kids and that's when attacks come and life crumbles around you. It's an unfortunate reality, but one we as humans tend to forget so easily.

One thing that's been so perfectly timed in the past couple days is my book club. My partner picked the list in January, and it has been on the spot every single time. This month, we are reading "Eat. Pray. Hustle." by Havilah Cunnington, which is a study on Abraham and dream chasing. I'm only about halfway through it, but daggum is it hitting hard!

Abraham waited decades for his promise to come to fruition. He had his days of doubt, but he trusted God's promise and kept going. He wandered around as a nomad without his own heir for years because God promised him the land and a son. He kept going even when it seemed more impossible as time went on. Eventually, God came through and Abraham saw his dream become reality.

As if I needed more verification to be patient, Pastor Kathy hit on it during offering about 24 hours after my plans crumbled. She referenced Hebrews 11:11, which says, "It was by faith that even Sarah was able to have a child, though she was barren and was too old. She believed that God would keep his promise." I only heard the last part of the verse in that moment (I was too busy picking my jaw up off the floor from the 11s, which played a role in the aforementioned plan that fell apart), but that little piece was enough. Sarah believed God would keep his promise.

As I was beginning to write this, my book club partner tagged me in a video from Havilah about why things don't happen in your life. The number one reason: it isn't time. It's so easy to fall into the Christianese of God is timeless and His plans don't follow our timelines, but it is much harder to walk out in reality, especially when it's something you want. Havilah said she would have told 10-years-ago-Havilah to invest in herself in the meantime to get closer to the goal.

Abraham and Sarah believed God, even when they were wandering in the middle of nowhere. The children of Israel spent 40 years in the wilderness getting their act together before they could enter the Promised Land even though they were making laps around it. David spent time in a cave before he became king. They didn't give up, and it took more time than I've been alive for two of those three things to happen.

So, here we go: another lap in the wilderness, starting with creating a 30 before 30 list! If you have any ideas, help a girl out and let me know. I'll post the final plan in a few weeks when I hit my half birthday.

How The Beach Impacted My Thoughts On The Future

Life is crazy.

Somehow, I landed the amazing opportunity to go to Europe for a little more than a month. Oh, the stories I could tell from that adventure! Maybe pieces of it will come up in future posts.

For now, I'm just going to share a little piece of my journal.

Before I left, someone mentioned that they don't think I'm in the career I belong, and it sent me into a bit of a spiral trying to figure out if there's truth to that statement. It's something I've debated for years now, but journalism is the only job I ever clearly saw myself doing.

The only thing to do in situations where you don't know what to do is to spend some time with God about it. I took my coloring Bible and journal down to the beach in Broadstairs, and spent some time with Jeremiah 29:11-13, which says, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.'"

After some time thinking on that passage and praying, I started to write and try to find a direction again. Instead, the ink formed the following words on the paper, and I don't think the message is just for me.


"As I've been sitting here, the tide has been creeping back in, covering up the rocks and sand I was walking on  an hour or so ago. It looks pretty different... kinda like life itself.


I saw things one way, but the earth shifted and adjusted what was my reality. I can no longer see the ground I was walking on, like I can no longer tell you what I want to do anymore. But the seeds of God's plan are still buried in me, like the rocks and shells are still underneath the waves. The tides will change and they will become visible once again.

Maybe that's how the desires of our heart work too. God gives them to the deep places inside us, and rolls back the tide every so often to remind us that they are there... it just isn't time to pick them up yet. Especially with big rocks, the waves have to wear them down to smaller pieces and wash away a large amount of sand before you can pry it out of the earth.

Even when you can't see it, the waves of life are preparing that big dream to break loose at just the right time. The bigger the dream, the longer it takes to prepare and loosen.

But you also have to be preparing to carry it.

Larger stones require more muscle to carry it distances greater than two inches. Same with goals and visions. They require strength to carry out to completion.

Tides change. Views change. The substance underneath the currents doesn't change. It just takes shape. So, I guess the answer requires looking at what has been there all along, even when the waves of life have blocked it from view for a while."

In case you're curious, here's how drastically the view changed.

Just remember, even the wind and waves obey Him. He can roll back the tide to remind you who He created you to be in the moments you need it most. Jeremiah 29 is written to exiles, and that's honestly how I felt for parts of my trip. I was alone (at best, with people I just met) and didn't hear much from home, which drove me absolutely bonkers. But when I needed it and sought Him out, Jesus joined me on a beach to share a different perspective on what the future could hold.

That, my friends, is where you find hope.

Final Round of Full-Time: Summer 2017 Quotes From The Goobers At World Revival School of Ministry

My three years as a full-time student are over. One of these days, I might get around to writing the post that's been stewing for more than a month now... but that day is not today.

Instead, I give you the quotes of Summer 2017.


Kingdom Economics with Luke Ingala (LI)

LI: "Force yourself to sow."

LI: "Money is just a vehicle. You don't worship your car."

LI: "The stuff... I could look it up, but we'll just call it stuff for now."

LI: "Any old dead fish can go floating down the stream. It doesn't take a rocket scientist."

LI: "If I gave you a Ferrari..."
Hunter F.: "Oh, thank you Jesus!"
LI: "If you don't use it..."
Hunter F.: "What am I doing with my life?!"

LI: "We're either part of the world's economy or we're part of God's economy."

LI: "I didn't know how many clean people are in here. I like it."

LI: "People who have a lot, they're either going to be selfless or miserable."

LI: "You can't drive on three tires."
Erica: "Unless you have a tricycle."
LI: "Okay, you CAN drive on three tires."

LI: "The only reason things aren't happening is because you aren't doing them."

LI: "'The silver is mine and the gold is mine declares the Lord Almighty' so what does that mean?"
Caila: "It's ours too."
LI: "Booyaaaaaaaa!"

LI: "What's a cultural statement... Gucci!"
Caila: "That's a Sam statement."

Darren Thompson (DT): "I'm kinda an old fossil in that regard."

DT: "You were like a gold zillionaire."

DT: "In James, it says to be slow to......"
(pause) Class: "Speeeeeak?"
DT: "Good job. You even gave me a visual!"

DT: "Some people. they're like a little hobbit running out of the door to go an adventure."

DT: "I ain't gotta be slow about going to Taco Bell cuz I'm hungry and wanted a taco."

DT: "Does anyone think around here?"

DT: "If I have to explain jokes, they're not funny, so work with me here!"

DT: "Sam, do you know what a consumer loan is?
Sam: "Yeah"
DT: "What is it?"
Sam: "A loan to buy things."
DT: "What kind of things?"
Sam: "Material things."
DT: "What kind of material things?"
Sam: "I don't know."
DT: "Well, Sam, you just lied."

DT: "Guess what happened? I don't know cuz I forgot where I'm going!"

DT: "Imma start giving answers cuz y'all ain't guessin' right."

DT: "Lord, thank you for wisdom and scaring these kids."

LI: "It's going to always be harder to start, but if you don't start, you're never going to finish."

LI: "If it's something you want to do and you never do anything about it, it's called a wish."

LI: "Give me some of you all's dreams."
Sam: "I had a weird one last night."

LI: "P-h-i-l-a-m-p..." (trying to write philanthropist on the board)
Ryan: "This is tearing you up back there, isn't it."
Stephanie: "I'm dying."

Hunter F.: "Except squirrels. They don't listen very well."


How to Preach with J.D. King (JDK)

JDK: "...understanding of preaching through intense studying... well, maybe moderate studying. I know you guys too well."

JDK: "So, JD, you're saying you're a teacher who is antagonistic towards teaching? Yeah, pretty much."

JDK: "Emojis are like the return of stained glass windows."

JDK: "You can't fall in love with forms that aren't biblical and ones that aren't working."

JDK: "Nobody has any thoughts? That's cool."

JDK: "Your ministry is not your relationship with God."

JDK: "People say 'I wanna become a great preacher.' Well, become a great person."

JDK: "You're called to be a human being before a human doing."

JDK: "Am I making sense?
Class: (laughter)

JDK: "If you're a person of love and life and integrity, you're going to rise to the top."

JDK: "To move forward, you have to work on filling the holes."

Sam: "That ringtone!"
JDK: "You like my Indiana Jones ringtone? I'm on an adventure! I may be old, but I'm ready to change the world!"

JDK: "Starbucks' got this nice little thing called a front door."

JDK: "If you live like a rat, you shut off the favor."

JDK: "We're not actually striving for love; we're contending from love."

Sam: "We should put pants ON people. That would be impressive bullying."

Sam: "Every time I hear 'logos', I think of Doritos logos tacos from Taco Bell."
Erica: "It's locos!"

JDK on Doritos as a fire starter: "If it burns that good, you probably shouldn't eat it."

Sam: "Homily. Oh, not home-ly. I was trying to figure that out."
JDK: "Have you read your book at all, Sam?"

JDK: "True."
Sam: "Solid guess!"
JDK: "I've got to get you reading the book."
Sam: "I read through chapter two."
Erica: "It was in chapter one."
Sam: "I didn't say I retained it!"

JDK: "You will reproduce what's in front of your eyes."

(fire alarm goes off)
Sam: "I'd rather burn than get wet. Where's Steph? Come on, that was funny!"
Stephanie: "I'm going...."

JDK: "If you don't get inspired, you probably weren't called to preach."

Sam: "Can you clearly define topical? I don't want to accidentally break the law. You'll put me in spiritual jail."

JDK: "If it's a mist at the pulpit, it's a fog in the crowd."

JDK: "If the preacher needs a list, the congregation won't remember. Don't preach grocery lists."

JDK: "Prophets don't shape what they say. Preachers do."

JDK: "Which one is more pleasing to the eye? The one with straight lines."
(class gives several reasons for liking the funky shaped building better."
JDK: "I'm talking to millennials. That's the problem."

JDK: "I'd rather there be a lot less ideas in church and more encounter."

Caila: "Me, we, they, we, you."
PAL: "Say that faster."
Caila: "Mewetheyweyou! Mewetheymeyou!"

Hunter F. on room being hot: "I'm going to have to strip buck naked now."
Erica: "We're not that kind of church!"

(Sam makes weird noise while class thinks)
Hunter F.: "Hey, Elmo! Why don't you shut up?"

Sam: "I'm going to go out on a limb."
JDK: "That means it's either great or awful. Go ahead."

Sam: "How about we do three each day and one on the last day, then have a party."
JDK: "We have to have a final, Sam."
Sam: "I know. I'm just always looking for the party."

JDK: "Sam is more wired as a teacher."
Sam: "Whaaaaaaat?!"

Dylan: "30 thousand questions!"
JDK: "30 thousand questions? It's a final. Did you even go to real college?"

JDK: "I want people to like my sermon, Jesus!"

Esther: "They're very holy dogs now."


Warfare and Deliverance with Pastor Aaron Lage (PAL)

PAL: "This isn't BYOB.... Bring your own bucket... because there's gonna be some slime."

PAL: "This is a tough assignment."
Erica: "Mmmhmmm."
PAL: "Took the words right out of my mouth."

PAL: "This is a life requirement. Where I go, I drive out darkness. Where I go, demons aren't safe."

PAL: "My jokes are now getting rated on the same system as demonic activity."

Hunter F. on alternatives to wedding rings: "Give 'em a thimble!"
PAL: "That would be considered sexist. 'You're my woman, now get to sewing!' That's on tape forever now..."

PAL: "It's part of your inheritance to drive out demons."

PAL: "You should be able to stand strong on a Tuesday with no prayer warrior in sight for a couple days."

PAL: "Worst case scenario: Jesus is a giant sugar pill and we've all swallowed it."

PAL: "Being with God doesn't necessarily mean you're doing anything."

PAL: "Actually, I wouldn't mind being compared to Pastor Kathy, even if it's just for the temperature."

PAL: "Just for that lip, we're going down to 62 degrees!"

PAL on baseball fan excitement: "When people are excited about something, they let their feelings show... albeit, a few beers help."

PAL: "It's not arrogant to walk in your destiny. It's expected."

PAL: "Why don't you step out on a limb and get criticized for doing the right thing."

PAL about mic: "Are you picking me up?"
Dylan: "I'm picking up what you're laying down."
PAL: "On a cosmic level?"

PAL: "Cosmic evil is atmospheric evil, but it doesn't have to be your atmosphere."

PAL: "Speaker speak-es."

PAL: "I'm gonna go three more minutes because I haven't talked about your personal evil yet. *whispers and points around room* You're all evil."

Hunter F.: "It's like with vampires; you have to let them in."
PAL: "What's that have to do with anything?"
Esther: "Like vampires, you have to invite the darkness in."

Dylan: "I miss Rose. She's supposed to regulate this."

PAL: "You guys are quiet this morning. I wanted some discussion."
Esther: "Pick a different day."

Lee: "I have possession of this book but I'm not on the inside of it."

PAL while drawing on the board: "God delegated authority to... stick people!"

(PAL explains theory of bless you/ demons leaving during sneeze)
Esther: "So I held the demon in?"
PAL: "You're not blessed."

PAL: "Satan pays for worship. God doesn't pay."

PAL: "It's easy to think you're running fast when you're in the stampede, but you could just be carried along."
Hunter F: "He just called us cows."
Esther: "Or buffalo."
PAL: "I prefer wildebeests."

PAL: "You don't get to take a vacation from the Kingdom of God or you're going to end up taken over."

PAL: "...access to food and wifi, because that's the basic human needs."

PAL: "Guys, you're going to be driving and there will be a billboard with some chick that you're going to take in full on."
*Hunter F. covers eyes*
PAL: "You're driving, so please don't close your eyes."
Hunter F.: "Jesus, take the wheel!"

PAL: "It's time to not be eloquent."

PAL: "Can you turn [the air conditioner] down just one."
Hunter F.: "Before we all burn in hell!"

PAL: "If a lion comes into the room, feel free to run. Or, at least one of you throw yourself as bait so the rest of us can get free."

PAL: "As a Christian, you have boundaries set up that the enemy cannot cross."

PAL: "My marker's drying up. See, the boundary is faded and we have to protect it. (Grabs bright red marker to fix line) The blood of Jesus sets the boundary!"

PAL: "You have a boundary that extends pretty far, but you're convinced you only have to defend one square foot."

PAL: "Stop feeling like an entry level Christian with an entry level job. You're management. Better yet, you're ownership."

PAL: "Just because it's out of your control doesn't mean you are powerless."

Lee: "I'm wearing shorts in my heart."

Lee: "She's the only one who knows cursive."
Esther, Erica and Stephanie: "That's not true!"
Caila: "Wow. Defensive."
PAL: "You forget there are homeschoolers in here."

PAL: "When tall guys fall, our head goes a long way."

Esther on first impressions: "Everyone thought I was mean."
Caila: "You are a little assertive..."

PAL: "It's like a sandwich vitamin."

Lee: "He goes barefoot?"
Esther: "He doesn't wear his boots to bed!"


Kingdom of God with Pastor Aaron Lage (PAL)

Josiah: "Chewbacca is going to be in my video!"

PAL: "Lift your hands... pace if you want to. Just don't bring Chewbacca."

Josiah: "How can people think that? I mean, it's still clearly bread."

PAL: "The kingdom has to grow and advance to be the kingdom."

PAL: "We seem perfectly happy keeping Him as the door and standing in the doorway."

PAL: "The kingdom of God is within you."

PAL: "If the kingdom is here, you have a lot of experiences to have."

Josiah; "I have two revelations."
PAL: "There's only one book of Revelation."

PAL: "What does apocalyptic mean?
Emily: "I'm guessing it doesn't have to do with zombies."

PAL: "Why do you think separation of church came about?"
Emily: "Because we're idiots, first off..."

PAL: "Kingdom authority happens through speech."

PAL: "If you're online, when I was muted, I was not drawing a pair of sunglasses.  I want to re-frame your thinking."
(class giggles)
Emily: "You said re-frame!"
PAL: "I'm really punny. I don't know what you want me to do about it."

PAL: "We give too much credit to the devil. The devil doesn't care. He just wants to keep the rebellion going."

PAL: "The devil is always and only going to be defeated through us."

PAL: "If you have no pride, you have no problem walking up and praying for people."

PAL: "God made himself vulnerable to you. You have the ability to hurt God."

Rachel: "It's so sad, it's funny again."

PAL: "You almost said when you grew up."
Emily: "I did."
PAL: "Two years ago..."

PAL: "God's doing things in your life but you don't see it because your focus is off."

PAL: "Being authentic is being who God says you are."

PAL: "If I die, don't pray to resurrect me. I'm happy I'm there."

PAL: "It reiterates what happened in generous..."

PAL: "You think of... I lost my train of thought. You think of... just think."

Emily on laws in Leviticus: "...not supposed to use electricity..."
PAL: "That last one isn't in there."

PAL: "The blueprint of the cosmos is love."

PAL: "Kingdom culture supersedes man's culture every time."

Josiah: "I have a question. If this is way off topic, you can skip it."

Class: "False."
PAL: "But what is it?"
Emily: "That's not on the quiz. Move on, Pastor Aaron!"

PAL: "You don't deserve it. You're all rotten! I just really wanted to say that!"

PAL: "God is not in love with the future version of you."

PAL: "False why?"
Rachel: "Do you even poetry, y'all?"

PAL: "It's nice to know the voices in your head when they come out."

PAL: "If you're a ruler, what does that mean? 12 inches long?"

PAL: "I don't know how we would draw God, so I'm just going to make it a circle."

(Emily asks about life on other planets)
PAL: "All that's fun to think about, but for now, let's get back to earth."

PAL: "Did God really say, 'don't eat the Snickers, Lage'?"
Rachel: "Does God talk to you using your last name?"
PAL: "You know how coaches usually use last names? Sometimes I feel like God is my inner coach."

Emily: "This feels like a breakup song."

PAL: "In a pool, I will displace more water than you [Emily]. We are not equal!"

PAL: "Faith is exerted through love."

Emily: "Or [Abigail] could just miss it and end up 5'1" or 5'2" like me."
PAL: "She's already almost that tall."

PAL: "You do not yet know what you are capable of doing."

PAL: "What if the first thing we went to was faith."

Josiah: "Assume your religious positions."

PAL: "Don't use your prayer language to curse people out."

Emily: "...through maybe sacrifices..."
PAL: "Through BABY sacrifices?!"
Emily: "No! Maybe sacrifices! You should know me better than that, Pastor Aaron!"

PAL: "Women don't have a lesser role of authority."

PAL: "The two become one. You guys know how that works... the whole stork thing... and you multiply!"

JDK: "It's a very important doctrinal idea I's like to think I rooted in you a year ago, but apparently...."

JDK: "JUDAH WAS  SCOUNDREL! AND TAMAR IS A BIBLICAL FEMINIST HERO!"

Johnny: "Scandalous."
JDK: "Did you know that stuff was in here [the Bible]?"
Emily: "Whenever I was reading, I would always skip over it because I didn't want to think about it."
JDK: "You homeschooler!"

JDK: "All of you need to break out of your literal homeschool mindset."
Sarah: "I wasn't homeschooled."
JDK: "Good. You were pagan like me!"

JDK: "Boaz is the man!"

JDK at the beginning of class: "You guys are behind on the material."
(Later in class, Emily asks a question.)
JDK: "No wonder you guys are so behind!"

JDK: "You know Song of Solomon is a sex poem, right?"
Johnny: "We can't talk about that."
JDK: *Looks at camera* "You are right."

JDK: "That's a hunk right there. Not a hunk as in an attractive person. A hunk as in a chunk of text."
JoAnn: "Thank you for clarifying."
JDK: "I know you guys struggled with that one."

PAL: "We basically still worship baby Jesus in a manger. You can kiss on Him. He's cute. But don't get in our face with what? With kingdom authority."

PAL: "You don't know unless you do."

Jeffrey: "JD was talking about the pyramid thing."
PAL: "JD taught you a pyramid scheme?"

Emily: "Don't erase my writing!"
(JoAnn draws triangle)
Jeffrey: "Beautiful."
Emily: "Thank you!"
Jeffrey: "I wasn't talking about your writing."

PAL: "Jesus said to be child LIKE not childISH."

PAL: "He rescued you. He knows there's going to be darkness residue on you."

PAL: "This was a human role He came to fulfill. Why? To show us what it looks like to not be drowning."

PAL: "You need to become a sign and wonder."

PAL: "You had your hand raised a while back. Is it still relevant?"

PAL: "If it's not being demonstrated, it's not the gospel."

Emily: "I just really love this class. Also, I had coffee. That might be it."

PAL: "I wonder what I'd be like if I taught on coffee since I never drink it."
Josiah: "Oooh. I thought you meant teach ABOUT coffee."

Josiah: "Forget the final. Let's just talk about coffee."
PAL: "On what grounds?"
Class: "Ooooohhh...."
PAL: "I'm sorry."
JoAnn: "You don't have a filter."

PAL: "I'm pretty sure once I see one person raised from the dead, I'm going to be addicted."

PAL: "I don't know if angels are allowed to be on facebook."

PAL: "He's using the very people who were destroyed to destroy the destroyer. It's the ultimate defeat."

PAL: "Let him have ears to hear, and here's a hint, He's not talking about corn."
JoAnn: "Corn! Hahaha!"
Emily: "You would, JoAnn."
Johnny: "Wait, can you explain the joke?"
Emily: "And I thought I was the only blonde in the room."

PAL: "When you grow up in the light, you have to learn how to not take it for granted."

PAL: "The kingdom is costly, but the cost is worth it."

PAL: "Everyone is like this. Millennials might be more obvious about it... or post about it more."

PAL: "If you haven't given up anything for God, are you even His?"

PAL: "We're preaching get to heaven for free, but Jesus is saying lay down your life."

PAL mentions Facebook marketplace in story:
Emily: "I have one question. Sorry, I'm going to sidetrack you."
PAL: "On Facebook marketplace?!"

Emily: "It's so cold in here! What did you do when we left?"
PAL: "All the hot air left."
Emily: "That would be me..."

Caila: "JC in KC? What does that mean?"
Emily: "Jesus Christ! Do you not know the initials of your Messiah?!"

Emily: "Do you even kingdom?"

PAL: "What happens if your stranger asks questions?"
Johnny: "Throw a Bible at 'em!"

PAL: "Why is it when you started talking to that person, their eyes rolled backwards in their heads like a rolodex?"
Rachel: "How old are you?!"

-- I took the other two classes completely online. With my hectic schedule, I ended up listening to classes while doing other things and didn't take notes. Sorry. If any classmates wrote some down, send them to me and I'll add them in.--

Pastor Eric Thomason (PET): "We will cover 12 turning points. Well, you will. I won't."

(PET): "If you're in a Bible class, you should know what theology means!"

(PET): "Jesus didn't condemn, but He convicted the crud out of them."

Johnny: "What's your gifting?"
Pastor Jack Walter: "My gifting is pastor-teacher."
Johnny: "That makes sense now."


And on behalf of the 2017 World Revival School of Ministry graduates, I give you the class quote which was spoken AT LEAST once a day by someone...

"Oh man!"