Saturday, December 17, 2016

Before and After Alcohol: 2.5 Years of Sobriety

Before and afters... fun and awful all at the same time.
This time of year makes people a little nostalgic on its own, but the end of the year isn't on my mind tonight. Today marks 2.5 years since my last alcoholic drink. It's a thought which pops up every six months or so, as you already know since I have this little tendency to document some random thoughts in writing on the internet for all to see. 

This time, the thought came up because of people.

Not long ago, I went to a football game at my Alma Mater and spent some time chatting with a media friend, David. His boss quipped that it felt like an intervention standing between us, since David and I are both in the early years of sober life. It sparked a conversation about our before and afters. I was going to post a couple pictures to highlight the change, but I can't locate the old one on Facebook and the new one was blurry. The first one was of us and other media people dancing in the rain at a rooftop bar in Austin, Texas. Needless to say, there wasn't much life in that picture. Now, there is a difference in both of us. There is a spark of life in both our eyes and the smiles in that picture are far more sincere and full of joy.  

It's so cool to see how God has transformed David's life since he gave up alcohol. His almost daily thankful tweets about God's grace and favor are evidence of the change. David's story reminds me of how lucky I am that I was able to quit without problems and public attention, but he's handled it so well. I'm so proud of how he's handled everything and turned his life around for the better.

The before and after was highlighted further the other night when I went to my Alma Mater's basketball game in town with a friend from church. During the first half, I got a Snapchat from a college friend who was also there. Will came and sat in the empty seat on my other side and I could feel the difference in the weirdest way. We reminisced about days past and it was almost painful to think about the trash I was during that time (I mean, I met him at a bar during a pub crawl...), while on my other side, was my more innocent and suddenly very quiet friend. I felt the need to apologize to her, while shushing Will's profanity and more ridiculous stories. 

After the game, I walked by a bar where a friend from my drinking days now works. I hadn't seen him in almost three years, so my underage church friend waited outside while I ran inside to say hi. It was so strange to see him after all this time. We were friends at work but our friendship lacked depth from all the time we had spent together but couldn't remember. Now, he's also on the road to leaving booze in the past, but he faces a different set of challenges of sobriety as the cliché alcoholic working in a bar. While David's eyes had a spark of hope, John's eyes showed the struggle he's facing and a deep hunger to move forward, which I pray he's able to do successfully.

The girl they used to know is not the one who exists today, a fact which brought a wave of relief while I walked away from the game. Heck, I'm not even the same girl I was a year ago when I wrote about being 18 months sober. That post created a connection with someone in the industry who had to give up alcohol himself. Through knowing him, I learned to stand up for myself, what I need and what is right, even though it didn't all happen right away. A shared experience created a connection which fostered growth, which is really what life is all about. 

People are our treasure, despite all my claims to the contrary when dealing with horrible, rude customers. What matters is that we do our best to help each other along in the journey and foster growth in others. While I've come a long way, it's wonderful to see how far my friends have traveled on their own journeys as well.

"Resentment, depression and all anxieties
They have no power over me
Addictions, strongholds and every disease
They have no power over me

I, I’m coming back to life
I’m feeling hope arise
Because of You, only You, Jesus
I, I’m leaving the rest behind
My heart is satisfied
Because of You, only You, Jesus."

- "Back to Life" by James Galbraith

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