Everyone Hates 2016 Except For Me

I've been dragging my feet about writing my annual year in review post because I'm one of approximately 14 people in the world who don't absolutely abhor this year.  I mean, some people created a horror movie trailer with things that really did happen over the past 12 months. While some bizarre things happened around the world, 2016 was actually pretty great for me.

There. I said it.

I remember sitting in church last November when my friend Bridgett passed me a note with a heart on it that said. "Let His hope be your new beginning." About a week later, Pastor Steve said 2016 was the year of new beginnings. For Christmas, Jill gave me a bracelet with the word "hope" on it. Little did I know how accurate all of that was.

2016 had a pretty rocky start, but hitting that low forced me to dig in and decide that I was going to move forward, no matter how much it hurt. Believe me, it did quite a bit. There were some major hurdles, like losing Jill and so many others in the spring, and my cousin just passed away this week, on top of the every day struggles of life. While those lives are very dearly missed, I've seen time and time again over the past 12 months where God twists a scenario and makes it good. It's pushed me out of my comfort zone, and that is where the growth happens. There was so much good, I could yap about it all day, so this will just stick to the broad generalities.

This year put some of my life-long goals in the 'done' category. As long as I can remember, I've wanted to do certain things, but never really thought of them as possible. It was more of a "wouldn't that be nice" type of thing. Some might be deemed silly, but that's your choice to soak the joy out of a situation.

In 2016, I finally read through the entire Bible (after many attempts that didn't make it past Exodus), I read more than 50 books, I got my passport and left the country, I traveled alone, I visited Pearl Harbor and marked D-Day at the National World War II Museum. I sang karaoke (horrendously), jumped off a cliff into a river, kayaked, swam out to a waterfall used in a movie, stood on an extinct volcano (although, I question if this counts since I didn't see lava). My team earned an Emmy nomination, and I'm now back on track to graduate earlier than I should have, but it's on time with the rest of the class.

I'm getting my vision back, but this time, it's coming with follow through.

Then, there were the bonuses. I lost track of how many ballets, musicals, plays, operas and concerts I went to, but bucket-listers like Underoath, Switchfoot and Panic at the Disco are on he list. Chance the Rapper, Winter Jam, and TobyMac's tour were entertaining. I got to meet amazing people, like Marvel's Stan Lee, Gary Sinise from Forrest Gump, Nicholas Sparks, Rainbow Rowell, Barry Williams from 'The Brady Bunch', the guys from Underoath, and Pearl Harbor survivors including Donald Stratton. I got the opportunity to coach young girls in volleyball and be a part of a kids show that's going to reach people around the globe. I was blessed with the ability to get a new car and laptop this year. Heck, I even sprang for a gopro camera, finally. I caught up with old buddies, made new friends and learned who never really fit that title in the first place, and became a better friend to others. There were so many adventures and shenanigans throughout the year, it's crazy to think about how blessed I was.

All of that is fun, but it's the inner changes that are more important. I became stronger and more stable in who I am, while also developing a softness and vulnerability at the same time. It's the weirdest thing, but God is complex like that. I feel like I grew so much, yet have so much more work ahead. Pastor Eric always says, "with God, the journey is everything," and I am thoroughly loving the adventure He's writing for me in this time. It's creating the me I was supposed to be all along, but lost in the flesh's struggle to fit in. Let's face it: I was never meant to be classified as normal.

Despite all of these amazing moments, I know it's just the beginning. It's a thought which is both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. 2016 saw the first few pages of a book come to life and the shiftings to set up some big things in 2017. I keep thinking of the line from Switchfoot's song "If the House Burns Down" which says, "I may not know what I want from this life but I know I want more than the starting line." The next couple months are going to be filled with some deep thought and visioneering as some interesting possibilities are floating around. That's just what I see, so who knows what God still has in His pocket for me. Pastor Steve said 2017 is the year of opportunity and I cannot wait to see how everything will play out.

I hope you grab ahold of the hope for a better life that is found only in Jesus. If He can turn my life around so drastically in just one year, just think where you could be 12 months from now.  Think about what JD King preached last night: "Jesus wants to meet you where you are so He can take you to where He is." He makes all things new and will give you more than what your heart desires when you trust Him.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Before and After Alcohol: 2.5 Years of Sobriety

Before and afters... fun and awful all at the same time.

This time of year makes people a little nostalgic on its own, but the end of the year isn't on my mind tonight. Today marks 2.5 years since my last alcoholic drink. It's a thought which pops up every six months or so, as you already know since I have this little tendency to document some random thoughts in writing on the internet for all to see. 

This time, the thought came up because of people.

Not long ago, I went to a football game at my Alma Mater and spent some time chatting with a media friend, David. His boss quipped that it felt like an intervention standing between us, since David and I are both in the early years of sober life. It sparked a conversation about our before and afters. I was going to post a couple pictures to highlight the change, but I can't locate the old one on Facebook and the new one was blurry. The first one was of us and other media people dancing in the rain at a rooftop bar in Austin, Texas. Needless to say, there wasn't much life in that picture. Now, there is a difference in both of us. There is a spark of life in both our eyes and the smiles in that picture are far more sincere and full of joy.  

It's so cool to see how God has transformed David's life since he gave up alcohol. His almost daily thankful tweets about God's grace and favor are evidence of the change. David's story reminds me of how lucky I am that I was able to quit without problems and public attention, but he's handled it so well. I'm so proud of how he's handled everything and turned his life around for the better.

The before and after was highlighted further the other night when I went to my Alma Mater's basketball game in town with a friend from church. During the first half, I got a Snapchat from a college friend who was also there. Will came and sat in the empty seat on my other side and I could feel the difference in the weirdest way. We reminisced about days past and it was almost painful to think about the trash I was during that time (I mean, I met him at a bar during a pub crawl...), while on my other side, was my more innocent and suddenly very quiet friend. I felt the need to apologize to her, while shushing Will's profanity and more ridiculous stories. 

After the game, I walked by a bar where a friend from my drinking days now works. I hadn't seen him in almost three years, so my underage church friend waited outside while I ran inside to say hi. It was so strange to see him after all this time. We were friends at work but our friendship lacked depth from all the time we had spent together but couldn't remember. Now, he's also on the road to leaving booze in the past, but he faces a different set of challenges of sobriety as the cliché alcoholic working in a bar. While David's eyes had a spark of hope, John's eyes showed the struggle he's facing and a deep hunger to move forward, which I pray he's able to do successfully.

The girl they used to know is not the one who exists today, a fact which brought a wave of relief while I walked away from the game. Heck, I'm not even the same girl I was a year ago when I wrote about being 18 months sober. That post created a connection with someone in the industry who had to give up alcohol himself. Through knowing him, I learned to stand up for myself, what I need and what is right, even though it didn't all happen right away. A shared experience created a connection which fostered growth, which is really what life is all about. 

People are our treasure, despite all my claims to the contrary when dealing with horrible, rude customers. What matters is that we do our best to help each other along in the journey and foster growth in others. While I've come a long way, it's wonderful to see how far my friends have traveled on their own journeys as well.

"Resentment, depression and all anxieties
They have no power over me
Addictions, strongholds and every disease
They have no power over me

I, I’m coming back to life
I’m feeling hope arise
Because of You, only You, Jesus
I, I’m leaving the rest behind
My heart is satisfied
Because of You, only You, Jesus."

- "Back to Life" by James Galbraith

Never Forget: Even Little Dreams Do Come True

There are a handful of things I've wanted to do for many years of my life, but growing up pretty poor put those dreams into a corner of my mind where they became a 'one day maybe' instead of something that was attainable. One dream I've carried since I was a wee child was to visit Pearl Harbor. It even made it into a creative writing assignment somewhere around 5th grade where I was telling a friend what I had been up to recently, but 20 years in the future. 

It finally came true.

It's funny how a random Facebook post during my New Orleans & Canada adventure in June sparked this whole thing into being, but that's just how God is. 

It wasn't coincidence that I made a reference to the 75th anniversary of the attack to a friend.

It wasn't coincidence that my favorite teacher saw it.

It wasn't coincidence that the teacher lived five minutes away from the Harbor and offered a place to stay if we made the trip.

It wasn't coincidence that the plane tickets dropped $150 without a Google price alert the day I decided to take the step of faith and buy it.

It wasn't coincidence that I got work-study the next day, freeing up the money I had just spent on the plane ticket.

It was God.

But you know what, God doesn't just fulfill dreams the way our human minds fathom an ideal situation. He's a good Father and likes to show off sometimes. 

That is exactly what He did for me with this trip.

Going to Pearl Harbor and seeing the history of the attack and where my grandpa was toward the end of WWII would've been enough for me.

Getting to make the trek for the 75th anniversary made it a special piece of history.

Getting to make the trip with a friend and stay with someone in my professional field who I look up to is awesome.

But God opened the door to combining things I love, making it more than little Stephanie ever imagined this trip could be. I was able to get media passes to take a camera, meet the survivors, tell their stories and share the messages they want people to know. 

This trip was incredible.

I spent time on the USS Arizona memorial with just members of the media at sunrise.

I shook hands with four of the five men still alive who escaped that ship, while 1,177 are entombed there.

I met a handful of other men who survived bullets and bombs falling from the sky.

I watched current members of the military stand and hold a salute for about an hour in the hot Hawaiian sun while the veterans left the ceremony. These young men and women didn't wipe the dripping sweat from their faces or let their arms rest when they were visibly trembling with exhaustion. I don't have words for the respect and honor there. 

I learned about a little known man, George Whiteman, who died in the attack on the other side of the island, and now has an Air Force base named after him in Missouri.

I visited the USS Utah memorial, where you can still see the cables crews used to try to right the ship and save the men on board, but were unsuccessful. Then, we walked through the 429 white marble pillars, representing the 429 lives lost on the USS Oklahoma.

The attack on Pearl Harbor is heavy stuff, and I can't even count the number of times I had to choke back tears. Just standing on the pier at the moment the attack was happening 75 years before was overwhelming enough for my mind, but to see these brave men return to a place where they almost lost their lives and talk about forgiving Japan... speechless. These guys are so inspirational in their survival stories alone, but the strength with which they do it can't be put into words. I don't know that I'll ever be able to forget when Jack Holder was talking about running to a sewer line under construction to avoid the bullets and he teared up while saying that the only thing he was thinking at that time was, "God, please don't let me die in this ditch." 

I also won't be able to forget how every time I heard Donald Stratton talk, he made sure to mention the 1,177 who weren't as lucky as he was, or how eyes lit up and how tightly he grabbed my hand when I said I was reading his book and asked him to sign it.

These guys don't want us to forget how blessed we truly are in this country, and it's so humbling to be able to pass that message on to you now.

While I expected to work my tail off, which we did, and dealt with some less-than-pleasant situations on the media side, it was still an incredible moment to be able to cover and experience. 

We did manage to work in some fun though! When I asked for an interviewed with actor Gary Sinise, I didn't really think it would happen, but it did. Not only that, we got to be near the stage during the Lt. Dan Band's performance on Waikiki Beach. I met NBC news crews, including Jay Gray. We ate at the North Shore's famous food trucks, played in the water at Shark's Cove, hiked through areas of Waimea Bay that you could recognize in movies, swam in 20-30 feet deep ice cold water to stand under a waterfall (have I mentioned I'm not a fan of swimming? Because I'm not and it was terrifying), saw baby pineapples growing at the Dole Plantation and ate some of that fantastic Dole whip, stood in front of the USS Missouri, climbed part of the way up the dormant Diamond Head volcano, stood in the waves at Waikiki, checked out a swap meet at Aloha Stadium, and ate some fantastic meals with amazing people. Our hosts were beyond incredible tour guides and people. And of course, I always have a blast with my travel buddy.

I say all of this as a reminder to hold on to your dreams, even when it doesn't seem like something that would ever become a reality for you. Nothing is impossible with God. Matthew 6:33 says, "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" and Psalm 37:4-5 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Following God can be a hard path, but it has so many rewards. He opens doors that you might not have even thought to knock on or even walk toward. If he can take my simple dream of visiting such a historic place and make it happen in so much more a grand fashion that I could have thought up myself, what could He do for you in your life? 

The blessings are limitless because He is limitless. He is a good Father who wants to give you what you desire, even the seemingly small things buried in hopes and dreams you let fade into nothingness. Don't give up on your dreams and don't give up on God. Following Him brings the best into your life in perfect timing. Never forget.