Oh, Canada! Adventures in Exploring Independence

Home again, home again.... I'm back in the U.S. of A. with a smile plastered of my face. 

The whole point of leaving on this solo adventure was to lock myself up and write a book. I was cool with that, but others couldn't handle the thought of not wandering and doing things, especially the customs agent in Vancouver, who couldn't wipe the baffled look off his face no matter how I explained. But then I got to my destination, Needless to say, with a view like I had in Canada, I didn't get nearly as much done on that front as I planned, but many more great things happened during that time.

The first leg of my journey went the opposite direction. New Orleans. I'm a nerd and decided to start things off with a visit to the National World War II Museum on the 72nd Anniversary of D-Day. The lady sitting next to me on the plane asked what I was doing in New Orleans, and got very excited about it. She recently heard about the museum on the radio and wanted to check it out. She was joining her husband on a business trip and didn't want to go to something of that weight alone, so I suddenly had a buddy.

Keeping things short, the museum is incredible. Some of the rooms are just overwhelming when you walk in. The first day, I also got to see this adorable little boy, maybe 7 years old, dressed as a U.S. WWII soldier, telling adults what things were and why they were important. I've never wanted to kidnap a child so much in my life. I seriously pray my future kids are that cool! I wandered the museum for two days, and probably could've spent more time there, honestly. I did get to help them with a little grammar error in closed captioning of one of the films, which was pretty cool. Yes, I'm a nerd.

After the museum closed the first night, I went for a walk through the French Quarter, because why not. I enjoyed the side streets, but Bourbon was a whole different animal. It wasn't even dark yet, but there were quite a few intoxicated tourists roaming. I ended up grabbing some jambalaya, watching hockey, and reading a bit. The guy working there informed me that a couple stars of "The Walking Dead" were at that table two weeks ago, which is cool, I guess. While trying to find, Cafe Du Monde, it started pouring, so I hustled the mile or so back to the hotel instead of getting a beignet. I wouldn't have cared if it weren't for the book in my hand! I did get a beignet in the morning, after a mile plus walk each direction. Worth it. I just didn't realize it was going to be the theme of the trip.

I got to Vancouver after midnight, so no adventuring to speak of right away. The first day brought a whole different story.

Since the studio I wanted to check out wouldn't let me in without a film backed by a studio ready to discuss, I started out by trying to get to the Vancouver Aquarium, which meant taking public transportation that was not a shuttle for the first time in my life. And I was doing it alone, with all of my luggage. I shuttled (and got a "go Cats" from another rider!) to the Skytrain and then eventually figured out the right bus line, and walked to the aquarium. Minor problem: they don't have any place for bags if you aren't part of a school group. I was dragging my rollerbag around when one worker felt bad for me and got special permission to let me leave my luggage in a school bin. Yay favor! They had a ton of jellyfish, which have always been one of my favorite sea creatures. However, I grew very tired of hearing "Nemo!" everywhere I went. I was pretty confused by the parrots and marmosets at an aquarium, but whatever. Also, the Kansas City Zoo's penguin exhibit is much, much cooler.

The adventure from Vancouver to Victoria was when things got interesting in an "I'm so screwed but haven't figured it out yet" kind of way. Turns out, there are two stops on the Skytrain line that sound very similar. I missed the one I needed, but didn't realize it until I got to the one I thought was correct. I rode back and got off at the right spot, only to find the bus I needed was gone. While there was a bus waiting there heading to the ferry dock, the driver was not on board, so I got to wait for about 20 minutes. Whatever. I had a book. 

When I got to the ferries, the one I wanted had already left. Since there was no 6:00 that day, so I waited for the 7:00. No big. I sat on the deck, reading, watching crews work, soaking up the sun and the amazing view, and listened to the waves and seagulls. It was so relaxing and wonderful, I couldn't help but smile! The great views continued once I got on my first ferry ride and we sailed between the small islands to Swartz Bay on Vancouver Island.

Turns out, the bed and breakfast I booked was more than 90 minutes away from the ferry dock. I pulled out my transportation card to get on the double decker bus, and the driver just grumbled to sit down. I thought I was getting a free ride. Still didn't know about trouble ahead. I was too busy practically drooling while looking at the sun setting behind the mountains. 

Then, around 9:30 p.m., I got a text from the b&b owner saying they were expecting me that day and wondered if there was a problem. I said I was on the bus getting close to downtown and would be there in a little while. He said that they didn't realize I was bussing in, but would stay up. Ok, now I'm starting to sense problems. The first part of that was when the bus driver didn't leave enough time for people to get from the upper deck through the doorway. I missed my stop. With the help of Google Maps, I adjusted. That's when the bus driver told me that my transportation card doesn't work on the island. I had loaded the dumb thing up on the word of someone in Vancouver, so there's money I won't get back. Relying on coins, it is.

I got to the next stop, and somehow ended up on the wrong bus. Once I realized it, Google told me to walk 1.8 kilometers back to the stop... on a dark street... carrying all my luggage. Wonderful. Then, my phone died. Not gonna lie, I panicked a little bit. I hoofed it to the bus stop, whipped out my laptop and plugged in my phone. It was the only option at 11 p.m.! The b&b owner asked for an update, and when the bus I was waiting on was late, then passed by without stopping, he said he'd come get me in his bright orange sports car. He's an interesting Buddhist fellow.

I developed a pattern while at the b&b: breakfast, watch WRSM classes, walk an hour for food, write, adventure and take pictures, walk back and either chat with people or write some more.

The b&b owner told me that the castle a few doors down was where they filmed scenes for "X-men" and "Deadpool," so it became my first major stop. I also came to learn that Hatley Castle was used in "Arrow" "Smallville," and several other movies/tv shows, plus was where King George VI and his family planned to hide out during WWII, so I was pretty pumped. Since it's now used for Royal Roads University, and school was in session, I couldn't get in.

No matter! It is a beautiful building, surrounded by three delightful gardens. I took pictures as I wandered through the Italian and Japanese, before settling into a little hut to write for a while. Other people walking through kept telling me how brilliant of a study nook it was. 

Eventually, I got up and wandered through the rose garden as well. When you walk through the gate, the floral smell is insanely overwhelming! Many of the blooms were starting to wilt and shed petals, but I still found plenty which had enough life for pictures. I forgot how much I enjoy close up floral photography until I uploaded a zillion pictures that night. 

There was a funny moment in the gardens. For years, my sisters and I have used peacock calls to find each other in stores or crowded places if we get separated. While walking around, I heard the scream and my first thought was, "Where's Bekah?" Then I remembered I was in Canada without them, and we couldn't possibly be that original. It must be someone else trying to find their group, right? When I walked out of the gardens, I heard it again. Just a few feet away was a real semi-wild peacock. I tried to take pictures, but the dang thing was pretty quick and I didn't trust it not to attack, so I settled for a distant selfie.

After my first taste of poutine that evening, which was wonderful, I ended up with a little bonus. I only had enough change for the bus back, so I sat at the stop and waited. An older man approached me and asked if I had a ticket. I said no, and he handed me his day pass for the bus. He told me he gives it away everyday when he's done so someone else can ride free all night. Blessing! That opened up the opportunity to checck out Parliament, downtown Victoria, and the harbor. I had heard that they light up Parliament at night, but, while watching the sunset over the harbor, realized two things. 1. It was cold. 2. I was going to have to walk through the woods in the dark if I didn't head back immediately. I was wrong, and had to hoof it in the pitch black. I may have wielded a liter pop bottle by the neck and repeated "Jesus" over and over again, praying I wouldn't meet an animal other than the two on the edge of the path and that I wouldn't miss the path. I had missed it in the daylight, but somehow found it in the dark!. Yay!

Another one of my favorite adventures involved a terrible idea: biking. Google Maps said it would cut my journey for food in half. It did not mention that the terrain was practically straight up. Yes, I walked the bike most of the way. 

That route ended up passing a historical site with a lighthouse. I thought, why not? When I got down the mountain, I found there was a cover charge. I considered not doing it because I was too lazy to dig money out of my bag. However, I was not excited about getting back up to the road so quickly and approached the gate. The cashier smiled and said he wasn't going to charge me. Yay favor!

Turns out, it was more than a lighthouse. It was Fort Rodd Hill. I got to check out battery and bunkers built during WWII! The way everything connected on this trip was amazing! They let you go into special gas-proof rooms where military teams used to plan and prepare. You can climb up on top of the sea wall and see the artillery that once defended the harbor. It was incredible and I may have freaked out a time or two because of how cool this trip was.

Sidenote: the bike ride down the mountain and across the lagoon wall was much more fun than the trip out.

This trip was so much more than I thought it would be. I got to eat breakfast with the former head of Disney Animation Canada and his wife, who ran Chromacoulor (which supplied companies that made classic Saturday morning cartoons, including Buggs Bunny!) Not having data to be on Facebook while I walked or a battery that would last if I listened to music forced me to do a lot of thinking. I got to thoroughly enjoy the scenery, which was spectacular. I couldn't help but grin like an idiot every time I walked through the woods, just soaking in the beauty around me and thanking the One who created it and gave me the opportunity to enjoy it. 

I learned a lot about myself on this trip, some silly, some serious. I learned I am terrible at public transportation and have never been more thankful for cars. As much as I want to think I'm a city girl, I still have quite the country root. There is just something about the middle of nowhere that I find comfortable. I also didn't realize the literal lengths I would go to for a doughnut. I could've ordered pizza and stayed in the hammock or hot tub all day, but I got out there. I also learned I'm the one setting limits for myself, and I'm much more capable that I realize sometimes.

Honestly, I didn't think I could do this. I was freaking out before the trip. Worries of getting lost or running out of money or doing something stupid constantly tried to take over my mind. I mean, there were so many firsts involved for me, it was ridiculous and a bit frightening. When my car died right before vacation started, I actually considered calling the whole thing off. I had to keep reminding myself that God put all the pieces together for this trip to happen in the first place, I was doing it to work on a project I felt He wanted me to do, and He is a good Father who will provide. That's exactly what He did through all the little, unexpected blessings and unplanned adventures.

On the last night, I was walking home from another hour plus long hike for dinner and Tim Horton's. I had just turned into the subdivision where the b&b was located, when I glanced out over the lagoon. For the first time in the whole week I was there, the clouds had finally cleared on the mainland, making it possible to see the mountains. It was stunningly beautiful (and my cell phone pictures don't do it the slightest bit of justice.) In that moment, that still, small voice said, "Good job. You did it." I about broke down in tears. This wasn't just a vacation. It was a test in relying on God. I let Him guide my steps and ended up with more than I dreamed. It's what He likes to do.

Legalism Or Life: Questions After Two Years Without Alcohol

Yesterday marked two years since my last drink. Woo! I was pretty entertained to hear that Isaiah Saldivar will be in town on almost the same day I heard him speak two years ago and made the decision that changed my life. I have a feeling it means there is another big step around the corner, but we shall see.

Recently, people have been asking me when I'm going to drink again and haven't been so ok that it's not in my plans. One of my coworkers went so far as to say he was going to slip me some hard orange soda sometime because I said I didn't want to try it. (Yes, I lectured him on how absolutely wrong that idea is.)

This guy also said I was being legalistic by saying no, but I disagree.

During the drinking days.

It's a concept we talked about in Covenant class last quarter: is the rule designed to be oppressive or is it there to bring life? In my case, it's the latter.

The example Pastor Aaron brought up in class is telling little kids that they can't play in the street. The action itself isn't evil. As adults, we know that's meant to keep the child alive and without injury. It's designed to be life, not legalistic.

In starting to write the book, I had to spend some time dredging through my past, and not all of it is pretty. The majority of the ugly, painful stories involved alcohol on some level. If I hadn't been drinking, I probably could've avoided some situations that I now regret. While drinking might not be the worst thing in the world, creating this boundary for myself is meant to keep me from getting hit by a car [insert: distraction] when I'm playing with something unsafe.

My coworker said I'm missing out and limiting my life by this rule. Again, I disagree.

Now.

Have I skipped things because of I don't drink, sure. (But, honestly, what part of being the only sober person at a bachelorette party on a fake holiday where "puke and rally" is the mantra sounds like fun. I love my friends, but I do not handle vomit well. Sorry. Plus, I was cleaning up after a destructive relationship and pictures in a bar would not have looked like I was back on the right path.) That situation isn't every time. I went out to the bars after my friend's wedding just to be with her. I didn't drink, but I still went and the groom spent a solid 30 minutes thanking me for the gesture.



To steal Pastor James' line, I'm "squeezing the day" and living life to the fullness, but I don't need booze to do it now. Honestly, I'm enjoying life more now than I was then, by a long shot. Plus, there is the bonus of being able to be used for God in new ways. Heather said in class this week that you can't have a deep level of compassion for a situation until you've lived it. Conquering a situation opens doors to reach into people's lives. Your victory gives you credibility with those who are still in the battle.

God gives us guidelines so we can interact with Him and others without doing damage, not to limit our fun. Like Pastor Aaron said, "If love is boundary-less, it's not love." I choose to love my relationship with God more than a liquid. I choose to love myself enough to submit to a rule, not out of legalistic desires to be a "good girl." but to protect my future. I've lost friends and missed parties. So what? I'd rather lose those things than be disqualified for my mission.

Spring Quarter 2016 at World Revival School of Ministry

Remember the days where I used to write out some wise and wild quotes at the end of a quarter of classes? The answer is probably barely, since it has been, what, a year or so since I did it. Alas, the wait is over! Summer quarter just started this week (I'm watching online since I'm in Canada at the moment!), so it seemed like as good of a time as any to bring back the Quarter Quotes. I mean, it's a lot less bloody than a Quarter Quell, right? Heehee!

I'm not separating the deep from the doozies or the silly from the spiritual, so enjoy the wild mix, completely out of context.

Covenant:

Pastor Aaron (PAL): "The thing we use our phone for the least is calling people. That's pretty funny itself."

Esther: "Yet we still call it a phone."

PAL: "It's a modern communication device."

Erica: "Woooaahhhh!"

PAL: "That's the thing in this class I'd least expect a woah from."

PAL: "Kingdom and covenant are the DNA of the Bible."

PAL: "You swore to God! Smite them!"

PAL (on Gen. 15:9-13 and heifers): "He cut them in half, but how do I know which half?! Like front and back half or inside outside half? How do I know how old it is? Are there rings in the hoof or something?"

PAL: "The vultures are the distractions."

PAL: "Is it fair to pit Moses versus Jesus? Moses, you can part the Red Sea, but Jesus is going to walk all over it."

PAL: "You don't do good works to be saved. You do good works because you are saved. That's what saved people do."

PAL: "In American culture, you fall in love then make a covenant. In Jewish culture, you make a covenant, then fall in love."

PAL: "If you feel a nudge from the Holy Spirit to do something, don't you think God will back up your faith? We disqualify ourselves, and God is just wanting us to walk in faith."

PAL: "If we didn't have the Old Covenant, how would we know how to trust Him or even who 'Him' is?"

PAL: "God always works around exclusivity."

PAL: "You don't have to throw mud on the Old covenant to make the new one look better. It's shiny enough on its own."

PAL: "You're not sitting there waiting for a Jesus 2.0 or 4s."

PAL: "Signs and wonders aren't always an affirmation of what's being taught. It's an affirmation of the person's faith."

PAL: "I think about that with Enoch sometimes. If I had 300 years on earth, maybe I'd be holy enough to walk off earth too!"

PAL: "Most of the time, we think of sin as this nebulous boogie monster, like 'ohh it's going to get me!'"

PAL: "There was no suffering... unless Adam stubbed his toe. I bet Adam stubbed his toes."

PAL: "I think it'd be fun to sit in on some dispensationalism classes."
Erica: "I'd laugh the whole time."

PAL: "You laugh through my classes all the time."

PAL: "College is the biggest ponzi scheme, but it's only for this dispensation!"

PAL: "It's an oxymoron! Kinda like country music. I just offended someone."

PAL: "Did you ever read Amelia Bedelia books?"

Class: "Yes!"

Zeke: "I only read Jane Austen books."

PAL: "Why is everyone so laid back today?"

Zeke: "We need better questions."

PAL: "The only remaining covenant we have is marriage, and that's broken. The point of covenant is to make you family."

PAL: "There is no wall on on the U.S./ Guatemala border."
Caila: "Is that where we get the word guacamole?"

Zeke: "I'll look it up!"

Janet: "You wanted class discussion..."

Isaac: "So, the point is, to make guacamole, you have to covenant the avocados."

PAL: "If love is boundary-less, it's not love."

PAL: " So we would say, if you really love the girl, you'd save the money..."

Lydia: "And buy her a ring!"

PAL: "Without the ring, is it still love?"

(Lydia shakes head no.)

Caila: "Well, how many people could've killed [Abel] anyway?"

Esther: "The suspect pool was small."

PAL: "There is power in the blood, whether you want to sing about it or not."

PAL: "Well, I guess I've seen a squirrel die because I ran over it."

PAL: "We celebrate it now and call it Good Friday, but it wasn't so good for Jesus."

Caila: "There's way too many human hands touching this word of God."

PAL: "Maybe [Lactanius] was the first one to reject dairy. He rejected the old covenant and now goat's milk isn't good enough."

PAL on the promise to Noah: "Can you imagine how many rainbows there are around the world every day?"

Caila: "Going back to that whole flood situation..."

PAL: "That's exactly how God said it to Noah! 'Noah, we've got a flood situation. Imma need you to build an ark.'"

PAL: "God has always predestined for there to be a people. The question is: are you going to choose to be a part of that group?"

Caila: "I wonder how they got the lions in the den."

PAL: "Tranquilizers." 

(Class laughs)

Isaac: "Really, you only had to get two in there."

(Caila looks confused.)

PAL: "The married person should get that."

PAL: "There is no verse in the New Testament about tithing because no one thought they were getting rid of the Old Covenant!"

PAL unmutes mic: "The demon of muteness is gone!"

PAL: "Anything that creates disunity is not of the Spirit of God."

PAL: "Whatever theological ninja skills you want to use on this to hack it up."

PAL: "These walls I could probably walk through on its own."

Janet: "Let's see it."

PAL: "If you're willing to pay for it, I'll try it. Well, maybe let's wait until after conference."

PAL on the death of Jill: "It's a loss and we're at a loss for words, so He gave us His." (holds up Bible)

PAL: "Is the stoplight meant to be binding or is it meant to be saving?"

PAL: "Enoch walked that close to God and he didn't have [the Word]. We have a cheat sheet and still can't do it!"

PAL: "Cain just killed his brother and right away, God is there talking to him."

PAL: "I hope to God I never resort to using emojis."

Kaitlynn: "What's wrong with emojis?!"

PAL: "I'm not very emotional."

PAL: "There are stories in the Bible and you're like, how did this make the cut? It's disturbing."

PAL: "Happiness is fleeting. What you should pursue is joy."

PAL: "Faith is a gift from God, but you have to open it."

PAL: "Never apologize for laughing. I should probably figure out my true laugh. Forget finding your true path, find your true laugh!"

Caila: "Baloney times 100!"

PAL: "That's a big sandwich."

PAL: "Who decided how to spell bologna. Like, I know it's supposed to be French..."

Esther: "Then why doesn't it taste better?"

PAL: "That's a good joke! I've never heard a mind-blowing fact about bologna."

PAL: "Anyone in this room who is struggling with value and self worth needs to look at [the Bible] a little more. He created you very good."

PAL: "You know how when you tell someone 'you did a good job in chapel today' and they're like, 'all glory to God!' You know, that religious answer, but it's like, 'it wasn't that good!'"

PAL: "If you understand who you are inn Him, you understand your value in Him."

PAL: "You have authority in heaven RIGHT NOW."

PAL talks about how we tend to talk to God: "How many of you would last more than a week as a friend of someone like that?"

Lydia: "Only if they're rich."

PAL: "God has a sense of humor. I mean, look at yourself!"

PAL: "The goal is not the system. The goal is who the system points to."

PAL: "God's probably like, 'Can we laugh about that now and move past it? Yeah, you were an idiot.'"

PAL: "God made us in His image to make Him proud."

PAL: "That would be a really cool resurrection if you were a Christian. Can you imagine bursting out of a tree?!"

PAL: "I used to have a talking parrot but it never said 'I'm hungry' so it died."

PAL: "God knows that some of you are going to have kids and really screw them up."

Kaitlynn: "Oh, I hope that's not me!"

PAL: "There will be seasons in your life where God will not do something for you. He'll give you the authority to do it yourself."

PAL: "One of the moments God wants to come close to you is right after you screw up."

PAL: "Today's been a good day. I haven't had a single sinful thought."

Lydia: "There's pride!"

PAL: "The enemy is the one trying to get you to look at your sin."

PAL: "When you can't say no to something, it has control over you but you tell yourself you're choosing it."

Lydia: "I wouldn't be a very good Muslim."

Esther: "You'd be a pretty good dead Muslim."

Esther: "If we are such worms, then gender shouldn't be an issue because worms are both genders."

PAL: "He made you to enter into these seasons and make the most of them... to be productive."

PAL: "Don't let the devil steal your words. There is power in your words."

Janet on puzzles: "That's self imposed torture."

PAL: "I wouldn't imagine pranking God because He probably already knows what's under the wrapping paper. But at the same time, God has a sense of humor."

Isaac: "I don't know why people are laughing at me."

PAL: "That's what your name means, bro."

(Rose laughs)

Isaac: "Did you just acknowledge a joke?"

Rose: "I acknowledge good jokes, they just don't happen very often."

PAL: "Wilderness experiences, desert experiences, battle experiences... those things you go through should deepen your faith."

PAL: "If I said my wife is hot, hopefully you all know I don't mean I'm burning her at the stake right now."

PAL: "We make the ways of God a law, but God doesn't want to do the same thing every time because then we don't have to trust Him."

PAL: "Paul's up in heaven like, 'What are you doing?! Can't you see I wrote that in sarcasm font?!'"

PAL: "Can you imagine how much the environmentalists hated Noah?"

Lydia: "It's ok. They died anyway."

Caila: "When he first started, was he fluffy?"

PAL: "Was he fluffy?! Like Winnie-the-Pooh?"

PAL: "When you look both ways before going into the street, it is literally life to you! Or at least kneecaps."

Church Marketing:

Jacob: "If you like handbags, a Coach handbag is different from a Michael Kors handbag... That's all I got."

Jacob: "Is legion involved in campus security? All 'waaahhh' at the front gate?"

Jacob: "I think perishing is something you kinda want to avoid. It kinda feels like dying. I feel like I'm perishing every four hours when I'm hungry."

Lydia: "Five years in the future? Kids are not in the picture."

Jacob: "They are for us."

Erica: "I'd hope so!"

Lydia: "It's not like they're going to go anywhere."

Jacob: "Ohh they can go somewhere..."

Jacob on bats: "It was like a mammal missile straight from hell!"

Jacob: "You're not so much afraid of God. You're afraid of what happens if God leaves."

Jacob: "We're kinda like the Red Bull of church."

Jacob: "This is between this class... and everyone streaming."

Jacob: "Who is your perfect student?"

(Isaac raises hand.)

I hope you enjoyed the randomness that comes out in class. 

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Climbing Out Of The Comfort Zone: Is Fear Keeping You Stagnant Or Helping You Grow?

Picture a waking up on a cold winter morning. You are all cozy and warm under the covers; snuggled up between soft pillows. It's still pretty dark in the room, but there is a little sunlight filtering in. Maybe it's just me, but getting up and out of bed on cold mornings takes every bit of energy and strength I can muster. Why would I want to leave my bed to venture out into the dark, cold world?

Because you can't live in your comfort zone. Nothing happens there.

That's what I keep reminding myself right now.

I'm just a couple days away from my big writing retreat adventure, and honestly, I'm freaking out a little bit. Ok, by little bit, I mean I'm considering cutting my own hair to have bangs again. Obviously, I'm not in the greatest frame of mind.

I don't really understand why I'm freaking out and worrying. I know I'm supposed to go on this trip. I know I'm supposed to write this book, whether it gets published or not. God worked way too much out for me for this to be something outside of His will.

When God wants you to do something, He makes a way, and that is exactly what's been going on with this trip. For example, my car broke down last week and mixed in with that first batch of thoughts was, "I should cancel the trip." I immediately shut that down and stood on Philippians 4:19, "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Sure enough, my car ended up running again and I didn't pay a dime for it. Granted, the mechanic told me to get a new car as soon as I return, but that's a whole different adventure I don't have to face today.

So, why am I stressing about something God has His hand on?

Because it's out of my comfort zone.

I can't rely on my own experience because I've never left the country. I can't rely on anyone else because I'm going alone and don't know anyone where I'm heading. All I can do it trust that God is positioning and protecting me.

I won't say everyone, but just like no sane human being wants to get out of a warm bed on a cold, dark morning, no sane human really wants to jump out into something unknown. All you can do in the dark, cozy comfort zone is sleep and rest. You are useless. You have to get out of bed to get anything done and be useful. Accomplishing His will requires a little work on your part. There is a quote from Lisa Bevere in "Girls With Swords" that says, "If you are not praying the type of prayers that scare you, your prayers are certainly not frightening our enemy.” There is also a similar quote of "if your dreams don't scare you, dream bigger." So maybe, it's not a terrible thing to be a little scared.

But it's a good kind of scared. It's the "this is going to change my life" kind of scared. If I was 100% comfortable with this, it wouldn't change me nearly as much. Heather Eschenbaum teaches that ALL THE TIME. I have to be uncomfortable and vulnerable so God can show His strength in every part of this process.

During my meltdown before the car was fixed, I was sharing my concerns with a co-worker who encouraged this trip. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "It's not in your comfort zone now, but when you come back, it will be." Boom. This is positioning. I thought of Mary Seidler in that moment. She didn't just travel by herself to another country. She up and moved to across the world and is now making an impact in Poland. If she would have stayed in her comfort zone in Kansas City, people in Poland would be missing out. She had to take the first step to see those dreams realized. Bevere wrote, "It is impossible to win the race unless you venture to run. Impossible to win the victory unless you dare to battle."

Of course, I went to a pre-screening of a movie last night with a tagline of "Live Boldly." Ok, ok, ok. I get it.

It is time to rip off the comfortable covers and jump into the cold, dark unknown. That is where something big can happen. Fear can either force you to stay stagnant or grow. The choice is up to you.


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