A Change of Perspective with the End of 2018

I wasn't going to write anything about 2018 because it felt like an eternally long garbage fire. I mean, how many of you honestly remember we had an Olympic games less than 12 months ago? Don't lie. You forgot too.

Initially when I thought about 2018, the negative things came to mind first. I mean, if you've been on this journey with me, you know I lost two grandparents, a rower and a legend. (Make fun of me all you want for being so upset about Stan Lee. I don't care. He was a great dude.) I suffered through a job I despised. I struggled with some people's place in my life and tried to hang on to what was long after they showed their true colors. Then, I moved 500 miles away from everyone I know and that daily loneliness it freaking tough. Garbage fire.

But then, in the midst of everyone's top nine's I saw this on social media and it got me thinking:

 Ok, Marcandangel, you might have a point there. I started digging through pictures to make a top 9 grid of good things and had an interesting thought, which became a top 9 picture of rough moments with silver linings.

In losing two grandparents in two months, I spent a decent amount of time going through their old pictures and papers. It was bittersweet to find pieces of their pasts and get to know them a little better outside of their role as my family.  I also got to spend some time with all of my cousins on one side for the first time in ages, and even meet one's son for the first time.

With the rough patch of someone walking out of my life, I ended up getting to share San Diego Comic-Con with two fantastic people, my little sister and my friend Rhonda. Rhonda and I got a picture with Henry Ian Cusick, and totally missed the part where we just talked to the guy who played Zack Morris on "Saved By the Bell." Oy. But we laughed so dang hard while hauling all the gear around and tried some pretty crazy things.
Hannah and I had a couple fail moments that haunt me. We went to the tide pools, which resulted in the absolute worst sunburn of my life, (someone compared my arms to ground raw chicken... it was THAT bad), but I got to teach the journalism student some things in the field and spend a day exploring. That center picture is hard to see, but in it, Hannah and I, in Supernatural cosplay, are completely oblivious to the fact that Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles are RIGHT BEHIND US. Missed opportunity.
Comic-Con struggles continued with double punching on the Kristen Bell interview, but at least I snapped a picture so I have proof that I did, indeed talk to such a delightful human.
I didn't win the Emmy this year, but for the first time, I was nominated for a craft category. My individual skills were honored, even with a typo, so that's kind of a big deal. Plus, I got to hang out with some great people from 41.
While 41 was not a happy place for me, I did get to learn a new skill this year. Steadicam was so much fun to do, albeit stressful with the paranoia of falling on live tv or jacking up a shot.
Some might say getting a black eye is a bad thing, but I couldn't stop laughing. Emily and I got a little roughed up in Krav Maga class, but hey, if you can get some of the sweetest people to get feisty enough to draw blood, that's an entertaining time.

However, the more I looked, the more I realized nine pictures was nowhere near enough to paint the picture of my year. Because of all the tragedy, I spent more time with my family in 2018 than I have in a single year since I got my first job. It's hard when we are so far apart, but this year drew us together. There were some happy moments too, like my baby brother getting nominated for Winter Court and graduating high school, Bekah graduated from college, and my daddy turned 50. Also, all the girls wore dresses at the same time. We know, highly shocking moments.

If you've ever watched "Supernatural", you know the phrase, "Family don't end with blood" and it's the truest thing there is. I am blessed with some killer friends in KC (still pending in Nashville). 2018 brought the biggest Galentine's blind date with a book party so far. Rachelle and I didn't meet our goals with HerBookNook, but it's still rolling into its THIRD year, which is crazy, and she's one of my favorite people on earth. I reconnected with my rowing family after the tough loss of Sam. Ally introduced me to the world of BookCon. There were nights of ax throwing and writing sessions and late night meals. There were hugs and tough goodbyes, but they are some of the best people around. This picture is by absolutely no means representative of all of the people who mean so much to me.

One thing I hear the most is how lucky I am to have met so-and-so, and it's a perception I tend to forget. Yeah, it's freaking cool, but it's also a lot of work (that I'm not getting paid for, mind you) to make many of those meetings happen. I didn't get a picture with Mark Sheppard, but that was one of the most awkward interviews of all time. It's not always pretty in those situations, guys!

I'd apologize to those who are offended/ think I'm rubbing it in when I mention something someone famous said to me, but I'm not actually sorry.

While 2018 has been one heck of a bumpy ride, true hindsight shows an incredible journey. I'm still here, despite all the grief and pain of the year.
I left a job I hated and now have one I love with happy people who value each other.
I had the opportunity to go coast-to-coast a few times, and put nearly 20k miles on my car in the last couple months to see friends, family, and bands. Not everyone gets that.
I did crazy, wild things, like play a human claw machine, get my nose pierced, go Harley Quinn with a bat, climb (and jump off) a variety of things, start a novel, return from NYC with 84 books... and so much more. It was a year of truly grand adventures, and I'm so thankful for each God-given opportunity and person who joined in at various points along the way.

2018 truly was an adventure and a time to settle into my new home. While this last couple months has been hard with being alone, it's also been a time of healing and getting back to myself. I've never questioned if I really am where I am supposed to be right now. I know God has something waiting in the wings here in Nashville, so 2019 will be the year of growing where I'm planted and preparing for the dreams to catch me.